Go on and guess who one certain ostensibly progressive phenom wouldn’t mind supporting for president in 2012 against his favorite nemesis, Barack Obama. No, go on, guess! No fair peeking at this excellent piece by Joy Reid, or else you’ll know that Glenn Greenwald, spokes-scourge for the Firebagging Nation, has his eye on former governor Gary Johnson (R-Randhole)* for president, to run possibly with Russell Feingold, who since he lost his seat last year certainly has the time, if not inclination. Why wouldn’t Russ want to partner up with an anti-union,anti-Medicare and Social Security, pro-tax cuts for the wealthy, anti-gay marriage (but he’s anti-all government-sanctioned marriage, so that’s all right, then—I guess) private prison enthusiast? (The government should get out of providing services, but purchasing them with the peoples’ tax money—-WINNING! And thanks, Charlie.)
The Cato Institute’s fiercest binary-thinker could be down with Johnson or some billionaire or another——-anything to shake up the two party system in the long run, however far in the future that may be. The suffering instituted in the here-and-now? You mean Bradley Manning’s suffering? Is there any other kind?
(Image presented in keeping with today’s Earth Day salute to animals, and the people who resemble them, but not nearly enough.)
*Is this new Internet tradition strong enough to survive being used in a Polly post? I hope so!
Like most disenchanted Liberals, I spend a large chunk of my day quietly inventorying the many ways President Obama has violated my trust and molested My Virgin Principles (MVP™). As a form of emotional self-defense, I also routinely engage in the mental exercise of creating complex scenarios in which even Obama’s occasional courageous defense of Liberal ideology can be construed as a cynical ploy to fuck me over by doing precisely what I want him to do, at times when it would have been politically expedient to do something else. Psyche!
I won’t be dwelling on my own festering disappointment today, however, since a casual Google search has revealed to me that there’s a much bigger issue that threatens the entire underlying dynamic of recreational Obama-bashing: I.e., Obama may be running out of people to betray.
I’m serious. Not even counting women, gays, Haitians, Blacks, Whites, Hispanics and Bradley Manning, Obama appears to have already short-sold practically everyone in the Known Universe:
Question: Have we reached the Ring-Pass-Not of armchair Obama outrage? Or is there yet a back unstabbed, a rug un-yanked or a high-five un-faked by this despicable Super Judas?
This Firebagger has been trying to exert pull on the Body Politic since 2008, but the Body Politic hasn’t moved—not in her direction, anyway! Why doesn’t the Poseur in the Whitehouse know what she does? KISS: Keep It Simple, Smarty! WTF is wrong with him?
She’s steamed. She’s seething—and now she can’t even type! How is she going to fight for Justice if she can’t even use her keyboard? Won’t somebody be merciful and explain how she can free herself from the surly bonds of single-dimensional Fauxgressivism?
So, tomorrow night, President Obama is going to sign the Punch-a-Hippie Act of 2011 into law, outline the Kozy Kitten Social Security Replacement Plan, replace Medicare and programs that feed the poor with a new Soylent Green Codger Elimination and Impoverished People’s Protein Act, enact the Paul Ryan budget in toto (and your little dog too!), give Boehner a boner, appoint Sarah Palin to a Cabinet-level position in the newly formed Department of Drill Baby Drill, ban abortion and contraception with the Rick Santorum Sacred Sperm Act, propose replacing Guatemalan gardeners with the 99ers to produce a trickle-down effect from a new Boost Bankster Bonuses Bill and replace Hillary Clinton with John Bolton as Secretary of State.
You heard it here first. Let your pre-freak flag fly, people!
Think about it: Obama gets a historic health care law passed, the WATBs are mad because it didn’t include public option, never mind that the bill damn near DIDN’T GET PASSED. Obama gets a massive economic stimulus bill passed, the WATBs say it was too small, forgetting it was CONSERVATIVE DEMOCRATS who scaled it back. Obama gets a historic financial regulation system passed, the WATBs says it’s inadequate, even though congressional supporters say the bill was IMPROVED as it came closer to passage. Obama ends combat operations in Iraq, the WATBs complain about the escalation of the war in Afghanistan, which he said he was going to do in the campaign. Obama signs an executive order for hopsitals who accept Medicare and Medicaid to grant visitation and decision making rights to same sex couples, but the WATBs ignore it and focus all of their attention the fact that he didn’t overturn DADT wtih the stroke of a pen. Obama gets a payroll tax cut and an extension of unemployment benefits after negotiations with Republicans last December, and the WATBs complain about extending the Bush tax cuts for two years, without getting mad at CONGRESSIONAL DEMOCRATS who chickened out and didn’t vote for a plan to end the tax cuts. And now with Sheikh Muhammad and Gitmo, I’m sure the WATBs got into a thumb sucking fit about that, without, again, getting made at CONGRESSIONAL LAWMAKERS who chickened out and didn’t give him the money to close the joint down.
[snip]
Seriously, this new generation of progressives has simply GOT TO GROW THE HELL UP. They’ve got the instant gratification mindset prevalant in our society now. Compare it to the founding of the NAACP in 1909 — it was a long 40 years later before the military was desegregated, and nearly 50 years before the first civil rights legislation was passed. And think of all the other progressive innovations in the 20th century: Social Security, Medicare, women’s suffrage, child labor laws, civil rights, environmental protection, food and water safety, veterans’ benefits, the list goes on and on. You think all this came during the presidency of ONE man in his first term? OF COURSE NOT…it still took advocates decades of toil, sweat, and literally blood to make these things a reality. Did they stop and whine and throw a childish fit when they didn’t get EVERYTHING they wanted at one time?
And just in case you hadn’t noticed, the Republicans in the House are showing us exactly what kind of world we’ll be living in if Obama’s not re-elected and we don’t get some Dems back in their seats.
GOP heartthrob Paul Ryan (such Reaganesque hair!) has inspired right-leaning stiffies nationwide with his budget proposal. Glenn Beck openly declared his love and was immediately requited by the man himself.
Liberal Eeyores (god love ‘em) predictably, preemptively and pessimistically prognosticated doom. But I want to focus on Ross Douthat’s “Paul Ryan and the Triumph of the Will Policy” paean because it’s so…well, take it away, Douthat:
You do not have to like the long-term budget that Paul Ryan and the House Republicans have released this morning. There’s plenty in the plan for liberals to hate, moderates to doubt, and conservatives to question. But you do have to respect it.
No. Actually, I don’t. For all the huffing and puffing about Ryan’s honesty and courage, this budget proposal is an amalgam of the same turds the GOP has been pinching out since Calvin Coolidge.
As per usual, the turd is polished with focus group-approved language about “protecting seniors” and “saving Medicare” when its true aim is to abolish Medicare as a defined benefit plan altogether and leave granny to the tender mercies of a deregulated insurance industry, which has worked out so well for us healthier-as-a-group under-65-year-olds.
Ryan titled his proposal “The Path to Prosperity: Restoring America’s Promise.” Had he called it “Tax Cuts for Tycoons: Bounty for the Better-Off and Deprivation for the Disadvantaged,” I might have been impressed. Now? Not so much.
GOP politicians and anti-abortion zealots (the former being a smallish subset of the latter) don’t want to let the current fiscal crisis go to waste, not when it can be used deny women constitutionally protected reproductive rights. This explains the brainlessdemagoguery around Planned Parenthood, which doesn’t receive a nickel of taxpayer money to perform abortions.
Now the zygote fetishists at American Life League (where every sperm is sacred) have released a video that likens Planned Parenthood to Bunny Blenders—only worse, because Planned Parenthood puts newborn babies into Cuisinarts:
Again, Planned Parenthood doesn’t receive a nickel of taxpayer money to perform abortions and is barred by federal law from doing so. The funding Mike Pence and other anti-choice zealots are targeting pays for stuff like contraception, STD treatment, Pap smears, etc.
These folks are using helpless, fluffy little bunnies to impose their “sperm + egg = BABY!!11!1!!” fantasy on the entire country. They have no shame. And their attempt to remake America into The Handmaid’s Tale will fail because the Senate, unlike the House, hasn’t been overrun by hard-right extremists.
But hey, the Republicans and Democrats are exactly alike anyway, so it doesn’t matter if the Senate changes hands in 2012 or if Mike Huckabee becomes President of the Republic of Gilead United States. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is just using reproductive rights as a cudgel to keep women in the Democratic harem.
In a major reversal, the Obama administration has notified Congress that it will no longer defend the federal law that says marriage can exist only between a man and a woman.
Attorney General Eric Holder says he has recommended, and the president has agreed, that the law unconstitutionally discriminates against same-sex couples who are legally married but whose status is not recognized by the federal government.
But there’s really no difference between Republicans and Democrats. Don’t make a big deal about it. The NOM-NOMs aren’t:
WASHINGTON – The National Organization for Marriage responded to President Obama calling upon the Department of Justice to stop defending the Defense of Marriage Act:
“We have not yet begun to fight for marriage,” said Brian Brown, president of NOM.
“The Democrats are responding to their election loss with a series of extraordinary, extra-constitutional end runs around democracy, whether it’s fleeing the state in Wisconsin and Indiana to prevent a vote, or unilaterally declaring homosexuals a protected class under our Constitution, as President Obama just did,” said Brown. “We call on the House to intervene to protect DOMA, and to tell the Obama administration they have to respect the limits on their power. This fight is not over, it has only begun!”
Heh. Anything that makes those homophobic jackwagons all sputtery is full of win.
Among the many, many amendments added to the Continuing Resolution on government spending, which just passed the House, was an amendment from Mike Pence (R-Ind) to de-fund Planned Parenthood. Not reduce their funding but completely terminate it. Pence provided this explanation:
Pence hailed the passage of the bill in a statement, calling it “a victory for taxpayers and a victory for life. By banning federal funding to Planned Parenthood, Congress has taken a stand for millions of Americans who believe their tax dollars should not be used to subsidize the largest abortion provider in America.”
He continued: “I commend my colleagues in both parties for taking a stand for taxpayers and a stand for life. I encourage my colleagues in the Senate to support this legislation and end federal funding of Planned Parenthood once and for all.”
Although Planned Parenthood receives other funding, losing federal support would be a significant blow. A recent annual report, posted at their website, indicates that federal grants and contracts, totaling about $350 million, comprise about 1/3 of their annual revenues.
First of all $350 million is a drop in the bucket of the federal budget so voting to completely de-fund the organization can only be seen as punitive. Additionally the Repubs are voting to de-fund an organization that provides substantial non-abortion services for lower income women at affordable rates. A review of Planned Parenthood’s mission statement reveals that more than 90% of services provided are for preventive priimary care in community health centers.
The centrist Democratic Leadership Council, which spawned Bill Clinton at its high-water mark and was led by Harold Ford, Jr. as its tide ebbed, will soon be no more. What house dropped on it? There are two theories:
1) The Bolshevik takeover of the Democratic Party, which started when Nancy Pelosi was elevated to a House leadership position and culminated in the installation of committed socialist Barack Obama as president, prompted a Stalin-style purge of all moderate elements, including the DLC.
2) The triumph of GOP-style crony capitalism, which was heralded by the elevation of faux-Democrat corporatist shill Barack Obama to the presidency, made the DLC irrelevant since the entire Democratic Party has been co-opted by the center right.
In either case, the DLC has gone where the goblins go, below, below, below. It’s not merely dead; it’s really most sincerely dead. Let the joyous news be spread!
The Democrats, America’s second worst major political party, will probably not have to endure a serious primary challenge against its most effective president in generations. There’s talk of putting recent electoral losers like Russ Feingold and Alan Grayson up against President Obama, but it’s fringy stuff that isn’t even endorsed by the prospective candidates themselves.
America’s worst major political party has bigger problems: In the midst of an economic crisis they could exploit for political gain, they’re allowing a former half-term governor, reality TV star and confirmed nincompoop to suck all the political oxygen out of the room as they desperately hump the leg of a dead guy who was president back when “Who’s the Boss?” was in prime time.
Jobs, schmobs, American public. The Republicans have a much more important agenda and now that they’ve (in their minds) repealed health care reform it’s time to move to the next highest priority on their list. Redefining rape for purposes of federal abortion funding !
And, no, they’re not making it more liberal. No, INDEEDY! Citing the high priority of this issue, the Rethugs have introduced the “No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act” with 173 sponsors. Mainly, duh, Republicans.
But we already have laws preventing federal funds from being used for abortions, you say. With exceptions for rape, incest and health of the mother, of course. Silly reader! We have laws preventing federal funds from being used for abortions with exceptions for rape, incest and health of the mother but U R DEFINING RAPE AND INCEST RONG!!!
Contrary to what you thought you believed dear readers, rape is not rape unless it’s forcible rape! And incest is not incest unless u r under 18! All others need not apply. Note especially that statutory rape is not really, truly rape (unless, of course, it’s your uncle doing you). Neither, for that matter is date rape, rape of a drunk or drugged person or, best of all, rape of women with “limited mental capacity”. He didn’t rough you up and break your nose? Sorry, sister slut! Carry that baby to term.
The proposed law has other odious provisions such as not allowing for non-sanctioned abortions-due-to-rape to be paid for from HSA’s! Or deducted on your tax return! Yay! We’re well on our way back to the days of keepin’ em barefoot and pregnant with this here Republican Congress, thanks to, well, you know who y’are.
Last night Rep. Paul Ryan, R-WI, gave the official Republican rebuttal to the State of the Union address delivered by President Barack Obama. It’s important to emphasize that this was the Republican party line response and not a rogue response such as Michele Bachmann’s Tea Party number. Presumably the speech was reviewed and vetted by the party brass. So I guess we can also presume that this excerpt represents official Republican thinking:
We are at a moment, where if government’s growth is left unchecked and unchallenged, America’s best century will be considered our past century. This is a future in which we will transform our social safety net into a hammock, which lulls able-bodied people into lives of complacency and dependency.
Wingnut commentator Don Surber (who has received almost as many approving links from Glenn “Instapundit” Reynolds as “Reclusive Leftist” Violet Sox) and lovable Ice Age sloth Sid. I’ll admit this one’s a stretch. There’s some resemblance there—particularly in the way the heads connect seamlessly to the necks. But the sloth got all the looks, brains and sweet nature.
Surber threatened Sox’s ownership of the Instapundit linkage record by collecting a fresh “heh indeedy” yesterday with an essay entitled “I do not want civil discourse.”
The essay was also linked by noted legal scholar and boxed-wine aficionado Ann Althouse. It’s unclear which argument the two law professors found more compelling: Surber’s interpretation of First Amendment (asking someone to quit being an asshole is the same as abridging his Constitutionally guaranteed right to be an asshole) or the claim that teabagger calls for armed insurrection are okay since Code Pink said mean things about George W. Bush.
Either way, it’s pretty persuasive stuff. “Dr. Sox” better get cracking if she hopes to retain her “Queen of the Instalanche” tiara.
"[W]e wholeheartedly endorse the excellent Rumproast blog" -- Jim Newell, Wonkette
"Mind you, don’t let yourself be trapped dialoging with these guys: truth is their enemy; pyschological warfare and misinformation dissemination is their profession." -- TeaParty.org
