NYC Eats

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Naja? Nada.

The epic adventure of the escaped baby cobra is almost perfect.* It just needs a little something. Something like this:

@Bronx Zookeeper.

Oh, like you’ve never lost anything.

Now it’s perfect.

H/T Oblomova.

read the whole post »

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 03/30/11 at 10:00 PM
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Categories: CrittersFoodNYC EatsNew York City

Thursday, March 11, 2010

New York Food Police Strike Again

This time the culprit is, wait for it, salt!

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Assemblyman Felix Ortiz, D-Brooklyn, has introduced a bill that would completely ban the use of salt in restaurant cooking.

“No owner or operator of a restaurant in this state shall use salt in any form in the preparation of any food for consumption by customers of such restaurant, including food prepared to be consumed on the premises of such restaurant or off of such premises,” the bill,  A. 10129 , states in part.

The bill proposes a $1,000 fine on restaurants for each violation.

Give me, oh PULEEZ, give me a break here.  First of all even the Mayo Clinic doesn’t recommend a completely salt free diet.  Salt, after all, is needed by our bodies for essential functions.  And second, many dishes simply can’t be prepared correctly or flavorfully without the use of some salt.  If this law is enacted say goodbye to pickles, kimchee, sauerkraut and any other pickled dishes; soy sauce, worcestershire sauce and many other condiments; and most importantly FLAVOR! 

New York has an incredibly vibrant restaurant industry.  This heavy handed attempt to impose unnecessary dietary restrictions on anyone choosing to eat out would have a very dampening effect on the business of many restaurants for no apparent public benefit.  I realize it’s not likely to pass but, jeebus, don’t those assembly peeps have anything better to do with their time?

If you think the food police are getting a little too aggressive here’s a website where you can sound off.

Posted by marindenver on 03/11/10 at 02:38 PM
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Categories: FoodNYC EatsMessylaneous

Friday, July 31, 2009

Board It Up: Di Fara’s

A $5 plain slice?!? Are you fucking kidding me?  Gah!!!!

Listen, I love pizza. If I had to pick a last meal, chances are pretty good it would solely consist of or at least include pizza.  I would have sex with a well-made pie if it had a hole in it. I LOVE PIZZA THAT FUCKING MUCH. But I’d never ever pay $5 for a plain slice regardless of where it was made.

And let me tell ya something very few people are willing to admit (because they’re assholes),  Di Fara’s pizzeria is probably the most overrated eating establishment in all of the five boroughs. Don’t believe the Chowhound message boards, home to some of the most loathsome, crumb-covered, head-butt-deserving douchebags in the world, where Di Fara’s is adored and fawned over like a cheesy Holy Grail. DI FARA’S IS NOT WORTH IT. Getting there is a pain in the ass (even if you live in Brooklyn), the whole ordering process is about as pleasant as getting a colonoscopy, and the resulting pie, which you NEARLY HAVE TO DIE FOR, ain’t all that.  It’s way too oily, the crust is overly-charred, and even the goddamn fresh basil (fresh=grown in the window of a decrepit Brooklyn pizzeria), which Domenico meticulously (and slowly ... SO FUCKING SLOWLY) cuts over each pie with a pair of scissors, is really nothing more than the equivalent of an erratic BeDazzling.

I mean, look at this pie that I had to shoulder-out a sneering Russian day laborer to get for nearly a half hour (after already waiting twenty minutes at our dirty table) AND I ORDERED THE DAMN THING:

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Inappropriately burnt crust, enough olive oil on it so that I could slip ‘n’ slide my way home instead of taking the bus, expensive as shit (before this latest price increase), an ordering process that’s just plain fucking cruel (TAKE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR ORDER? WHY WOULD THE DI FARA ZOMBIE STAFF WANT TO DO THAT?!?), and, on top of it all, look at the crap basil job I got from Dom, the only person allowed to touch the pies at Di Fara’s BECAUSE HE IS JESUS H. CRUST. If I’m going to wait even longer for basil to be slowly scissored over my pie a) I want it all cut and b) I want it somewhat evenly distributed.

So thanks to the vastly (and, obviously, maddeningly) overrated Di Fara’s, plain slices in NYC will probably be $3 by the end of the summer. And I can’t even enjoy a $2.25 slice now, while it still exists, because I’m on a goddamn diet. SO I WANT TO KILL EVERYONE NOW.

The end.

Posted by Kevin K. on 07/31/09 at 08:04 AM
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Categories: FoodNYC EatsNew York CityBrooklynNews

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Cakehead is back!

Cakehead, my favorite food blog on the innertubes, is back after a short hiatus and Ms. Cakehead has got a great post up about an oddly-named food item she encountered on the Staten Island Ferry. Her post makes me, unbelievably, want to watch Idiocracy again. I didn’t think that was possible. Cakehead’s crafty that way.

Posted by Kevin K. on 04/03/08 at 07:15 AM
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Categories: FoodNYC EatsKnee SlappersYouTubidity

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Bud, iceberg and milk

If you’ve got some time to kill, local public radio station WNYC is asking NYers how much they’re getting gouged in their neighborhood for a six of Budweiser, a head of iceberg lettuce, and a quart of milk. Kinda interesting and somewhat depressing after that cruel, deranged woman from Columbus, OH lays out her local pricing. Bitch.

Posted by Kevin K. on 09/26/07 at 08:39 AM
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Categories: FoodNYC EatsNew York CityBrooklynManhattan

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