Our Stupid Media

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Yelling Theater In A Crowded Fire

Screaming Mimis
Self-criticism: any Blingee about hot air and hysteria needs moar Tom “Not Just Bloviating” Friedman:

Imagine how many real restrictions to our beautiful open society we would tolerate if there were another attack on the scale of 9/11.

To be fair, Friedman was without an Iranian cab-driver to help him find his way through his own tightened sphincter at the time.

And from the “Should Know Better” wing of the Department Of Garbage Analysis Department: This country makes the Stasi look like a bunch of Boy Scouts! That comes at 55.23 of this Democracy Now clip, in which Hedges, author of the compelling and possibly all-too-self-descriptive “War Is A Force Which Gives Us Meaning,” also avers that “this is far beyond a reasonable debate,” which Mr. Hedges’ co-guest, reasonable debater, Administration opacity critic and former Obama boss-o-him Professor Geoffrey Stone, might have guessed already, if his comment section at Huffpo is any indication

TRAITORHEROGOATWORSHIP! The contents of Amy Goodman’s vacuum bag to anyone who can’t guess the civil libertastic subject of this encomium at the charnel house formerly known as the comments section of Talking Points Memo: 

It IS what it is; but clearly, most of the posters on this site are more invested in defending their team than being moved by Truth. So they shoot the messenger… it’s like crucifying The Christ, all over again.

(I admit to loving how obnoxious this woman is: to another woman who suggested not letting this scandal keep us home in November: “You’d be more amusing as a cheerleader if you wore pom poms on your breasts and bounced around.” Superciliousness, implacable belief in her own infallibility, allegiance to No Mere Human, reminds me of something..P….PU….what could it be? It’s so familiar…sounds like PURE? PURE something? PURE-MA!)

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Posted by Mrs. Polly on 06/12/13 at 04:18 PM
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Sunday, June 09, 2013

NSA Superhero Flees to His Fortress Of Pillowtude

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Did you hear the one about the technical assistant for the CIA who leaked government documents to his favorite libertarian before holing up in a luxury hotel in Hong Kong, and stuffs pillows under his door because he thinks that will foil eavesdropping?

Meet Ed Snowden, a 29-year-old making 200 grand a year to work for Booz-Allen, who had a pretty cushy life in Hawaii before blowing the whistle on practices he thought needed airing, and flying to a city he deemed up to his standards for freedom, within that two-systems-one-country-that-country-being-China sort of thing.

I was at work on a post about the extreme ugliness being displayed all over the internet the past few days, which may yet appear with its attendant Blingee, but of course Mr. Snowden and Glennzilla had to step on my Blingee with their big scoop. Thanks, fellas!  Really, reopening and examining the Patriot Act seems like an excellent idea to me, even if the messenger(s) come with shipping containers full of baggage, but Glenn, as an expat and a lawyer, don’t you think you should have informed your idealistic young source that Hong Kong and the U.S. have an extradition treaty? Whoops. What, weren’t the hotels in Taiwan good enough?

**Update: Of course he’s a Ron Paul supporter! What else would he be?
(Title edited to reflect author’s slow realization that maybe she WANTS search engines to find this post. Doh!)

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 06/09/13 at 03:03 PM
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Thursday, June 06, 2013

It Takes 7 Years For Glenn To Get His USA Today?

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So you may have heard that the politisphere is a little angsty today. My television isn’t even on and I can hear Chris Matthews yelling, all because of GIUARDIAN GLENN GREENWALD’S BIG GIANT SCOOP, which is is not materially different from LESLIE CAULEY’S BIG GIANT SCOOP OF AUGHT SIX, except that now it’s Obama doing it! With secret FISA courts, which I have a vague memory of Obama voting for way back when, which is why I have GIANT SCOOP letdown right now. It wasn’t my favorite of Obama’s moves then, but I decided I’d take the good with the iffy and move on. And then the blogoverse trumpets GLENZILLA’S VERY HUGE NEWS and it turns out to be sort-of-not-warrantless-not-wiretapping. You know how you may have always intended to catch a hot show after catching one good episode, and when you finally tune in, it’s a rerun of that same damn episode?

I’m curious: am I the only person who assumed the Bush-era program never stopped? Since the snooping doesn’t involve identity or conversations, but exclusively “Meta-data” of my “telephony” being stored by the NSA— but not accessed without a FISA warrant— I really am having a problem getting my outrage on. If only I could pretend to be outraged, the way the Republicans do!

(Big ole hat tip to TPM commenter Doremus Jessup20 ; perhaps GG should think about tipping his lid—currently up on the Guardian page, collecting coins, to help keep Glenn HONEST—to Ms. Cauley.)

**Update** Well! isn’t it nice to know we’re never alone? Oh Hell’s Bells. The discouraging thing is that I’m not surprised at all. I’m just surprised that the NSA didn’t buy my behavior from Google the way Hungry Girl did. Nothing I do is a secret to her!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 06/06/13 at 06:37 PM
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Friday, May 31, 2013

Heman Hemanson Gets Pantsed

Moonbat With Two Family Units

Every now and again, it’s fun to watch somebody over at Rupert N’ Roger’s Wacked Manufactory bumping up against an uncomfortably solid reality that doesn’t melt away under the soothing fog of Reagan worship and a fat paycheck,,,particularly when it’s Megyn Kelly realizing that she’s surrounded by a couple of real Family Units, especially the living Toby Jug on the right, whose pinkly smug visage visibly irks her into melvining him with Science:

**UPDATE: Below the fold, now with even more Woolly Mammoths!
Eat our tusks, Russians.~~we’re trying to figure out how to UNclone ‘em.

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Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/31/13 at 04:00 PM
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Categories: PoliticsOur Stupid MediaSkull HampersSportsTelevision

Friday, May 24, 2013

Just Punch Me In The Face Now, PLEASE!

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Until yesterday, I have to admit, I was blissfully unaware that Andrea Tantaros lived and breathed.  Nor did I know that she was part of a FoxNews gang that call themselves “The Five” - dundundun.  Whatever.

This morning, however, I woke to the news that this same Andrea Tantaros was calling on my community to search me out and punch me in the face for voting for Barack Obama.  Now I’ve been voting for longer than Ms. Smarty Pants has been alive so I didn’t take it all that well.  Turns out that, despite her sophomoric mentality and social skills, this chick has her own talk radio show and on Thursday night she was busy holding forth on the James Rosen Affair.  Shheeeeesh.

Here’s the transcript:

Fox said, we’re targets, clearly Media Matters and others have put us on a target list.  And they said, ‘Oh, Fox is just crazy! They’re just paranoid!’ Really? Are we?’

This is what is happening to our press! This is Obama’s America! It’s like the Soviet Union. He said he would change the country. He said it. And a lot of people voted for him.

And if you see any of those people today, do me a favor, punch them in the face.

After a commercial break, a caller from South Carolina told Tantaros that he hated Obama, but worried that telling people to punch Obama voters in the face was sending the wrong message.

To be clear, I didn’t say punch Obama in the face. You’re going to get me arrested with this type of government.

If someone voted for him!” she insisted to the caller. “If anyone that you know who voted for President Obama, smack ‘em down.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 05/24/13 at 02:43 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaBqhatevwrNuttersOur Stupid Media

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Just LIke Bush Except For The Closing Gitmo Thing And The Listening Thing And That Other Thing

Code Crank


MEDEAMEDEAMEDEA! You are so vocal and full-throated, that even the guy at the podium has to admire you, even though you want him to close Gitmo and he—uh, wants to close Gitmo. And now he says it’s important to pay attention to you, so congratulations, conveniently formerly Susan B, inconveniently non-all-powerful Barry O has just endorsed you! You are now tainted, co-opted meat. I’m sure it was his diabolical plan all along.

In other news besides Medea Benjamin, the Guardian live blog, as usual, has a wonderfully succinct rundown of the President’s speech today. Perfect for Dana Perino-length attention spans!

Oh yes, nearly forgot: the President announced that he’d work with Congress to repeal the AUMF and end the perpetual War On Terror. Whew! Almost missed it!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/23/13 at 08:32 PM
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Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Hack Ack-Ack

Modo Mundo


May Robert Gibbs find solace someday, after the savaging he received at the wit of Bill Clinton’s ex-wife Maureen Dowd.

“I don’t normally read Maureen,” Gibbs, now an MSNBC contributor, said during an appearance on the network. “I don’t largely because it’s sort of largely the same column for the last, like, eight years.”

Oh Robert, why tempt Fate? Why?

After an uneasy interregnum, during which dogs were silenced with juicy bones and straw spread in the streets outside MSNBC studios, came to Politico the crushing reply:

I don’t normally listen to Robert,” she wrote in an e-mail to POLITICO. “I don’t largely because it’s sort of largely the same tired defense of President Obama for the last, like, six years.”

Now that’s some Pulitzer-grade devastation right there.

Makes us wonder with what weaponized snark the Dowdinator crushed the authors of this hilarious and still, like, apropos 2009 Huffpo Maureen Dowd Column-Writing Flow Chart?

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/21/13 at 07:09 PM
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Categories: BoozeImagesKnee SlappersPoliticsOur Stupid Media

Friday, May 17, 2013

See, ABC? This Is How You Give ‘Em The REAL Song And Dance

Oh, look, it’s ABC; still not admitting that their tin-eared right wing experiment Jonathan Karl was flim-flammed by a questionable source (and wishful thinking) into trumpeting his completely false EXCLUSIVE about the White House editing Benghazi talking points.

So what culprit fed faked notes from the White House Benghazi briefings to the eager and uncritical Karl? At least we can rule out John McCain!

On the other hand, this post could just be a thin excuse to post a video of Lee J. Cobb tap-dancing. As if I needed one.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/17/13 at 08:08 PM
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Woodward: WATERGHAZI!!

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Apparently primordial Villager Bob Woodward’s information stream is less than a trickle these days, or else how to explain his ignorance of the news that Benghazi emails purportedly doctored by the White House were actually doctored by interested, and likely Republican, parties instead?

Perhaps Woodward is still a little traumatized after having been threatened with a good dinner and flattery by a thuggish member of the Obama administration.

Or, perhaps, somewhere deep within the man (if that’s possible at all at all), he needs to discredit himself by daring more careful reporters to throw facts at him like a carnival dunk-me clown. Predictably, though, at the Village carnival, the game is evidently rigged, and Woodward stays dry as a bone.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/17/13 at 01:58 PM
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Categories: ImagesPoliticsOur Stupid MediaSkull Hampers

Never Fear, FOX Fans, The New Dingbat’s Here

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Just because they bounced the Alasklown, you didn’t think FOX was giving up on their mission to give the maximum possible juice to the dimmest possible bulbs in these divided States, did you? 

Rest assured that while there’s an unemployed photogenic psychotic willing to preen in front of bright lights and pocket Wingnut Welfare, FOX will be assiduous in helping malevolent loons fail their way to the top, if by “top” we mean the bottom of a barrel similar to the one West likes to torture Iraqi policemen in.

 

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/17/13 at 12:57 PM
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Categories: ImagesMessylaneousPoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid MediaTelevision

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

What In The Name Of “William Henry Pratt” Was THAT?

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And by “THAT” I mean whatever it was three days ago that purported to be the annual comedy roast that mocks big government and the political press. I didn’t see it on the ‘Net, and nobody seems to be covering it…so forgive me for not believing it actually happened.

By “William Henry Pratt,” I mean the actual Christian name of Hollywood legend Boris Karloff. Early on in life, Pratt realized that no one named “Pratt” would ever be hired to zombie-walk through back-lot villages and papier-maché castles. Karloff made the most of his Potemkin name, his size 40 feet, and his ability to powerfully snarl the words “FIRE BAD!”

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 04/30/13 at 07:01 PM
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Monday, April 29, 2013

Does Everybody Hate Ted Cruz?

You know, I’m definitely beginning to pick up a trend regarding the freshman Senator from Texas—he just rubs people the wrong way. This sensation of almost visceral recoil has been remarked upon pretty much since he’s taken office. He’s been compared to Sen. Joe McCarthy on the regular (including at the estimable Rumproast if I may point that out), and that’s an unfortunate comparison, since McCarthy has become like a byword in senatorial overreach and lack of decency. (Except it seems as valid a comparison as it is unfortunate.)  He’s been considered a conspiracy theorist (Agenda 21, anyone?) and possibly a bit of a sexist prick (mansplaining, anyone?)  And even Our Mister Brooks has pointed out that his fellow senators roll their eyes regarding him and find him “off-putting”.  And the NYT’s columnist is, whatever his faults as a pundit may be, not exactly the sort of pundit who would slam a freshman Republican Senator for no unwarranted reason.

Really. Except for the things he says and does (like his support for federal assistance for the West, TX disaster after opposition to Superstorm Sandy assistance—consistency?) what could possibly be the unifying factor? It couldn’t merely be his possession of a backpfeifengesicht,  like the result of sneering one too many times, when, as anyone’s mother might have foretold, it could stick that way.  (I will stick with it being mostly about the things he does and says.)

Which is why it doesn’t exactly shock the socks off of me to find that The Washington Post‘s own Jennifer Rubin has found a bone to pick with him over his description of his fellow Republicans as “squishes” over their curious lack of faith regarding a filibuster over background checks. Except, really? Jennifer Rubin? The Mitt Romney Booster Club’s Head Cheerleader? The pundit who once referred to Rand Paul as “formidable” over his Benghazi conspiracy theories (pitched way out of the strike zone of one SOS HRC?).

One pauses, truly, to take it all in. Reagan’s Eleventh Commandment is all to pieces, is it not? Or is Cruz just a law unto himself, unaware that ideological purity aside, a representative democracy is something like a popularity contest, and one really does have to serve somebody other than oneself?

I leave it to the reader to decide.

(X-Posted at Strangely Blogged.)

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 04/29/13 at 10:31 PM
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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Chechen Little

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As more information comes to light about the Beantown Bombers, it becomes increasingly clear that Uncle Ruslan was right all along: The brothers were / are a pair of not-too-bright losers. Mother Jones offers a list of odd and stupid things the Boom-Boom Bros did that directly resulted in their death and/or capture. These items include leaving their carjacked hostage alone in the vehicle while they went into a convenience store for Red Bull and then failing to toss their escaped victim’s mobile phone, enabling the cops to track their every move.

They’re murderers, sure, but sophisticated terror kingpins? Please. And yet the very lawmakers who most frequently have to pause to wring the accumulated ball-sweat out of their much-humped personal copies of the US Constitution are now ready to torch that document because of the supposed existential threat posed by clowns like the Boom-Boom Bros.

Senator Lindsey Graham, perpetually trying to butch up sufficiently to head off a possible tea party primary challenge, took to the Senate floor yesterday to baldly declare a thought-crime and ethnic-caste standard that would eliminate due process for certain American citizens:

“Here’s what we’re suggesting, that the surviving suspect—due to the ties that these two have to radical Islamic thought and the ties to Chechnya, one of most radical countries in the world—that the president declare preliminarily that the evidence suggests that this man should be treated as an enemy combatant.”

The “we” in that first clause includes Senator John McCain, the Hanoi Hilton survivor who is apparently transformed into a squealing candy ass at the sight of a teenage jihadi-wannabe’s wispy moustache. Senator Kelly Ayotte rounds out the new neocon triumvirate in lieu of the departed Joe Lieberman. She’s an improvement over her predecessor only in that her mouth isn’t bracketed by alarming skin-pleats and she doesn’t have a mewling voice that tempts listeners to drive chopsticks through their own eardrums to escape its range. But on foreign policy, she’s pretty much Joe in a dress.

In the interest of civility, let’s assume that these three and their fellow Republicans aren’t corrupt, cynical hucksters who are attempting to transform the blood of innocent people into political gain. So they must be cowards instead, sniveling, bed-wetting chicken-shits who are ready to toss our national experiment with free speech and equality before the law into the toilet and hide under the nearest rock—and not before the very real and powerful threats arrayed against it from within and without, but before a pair of moronic clowns like the Boom-Booms. Some “Daddy Party.”

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 04/24/13 at 11:55 AM
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Saturday, April 20, 2013

Heedless Booby Wound In Tabloid War

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Oh. So it was the FBI’s fault that Rupe’s failing fish-wrapper condemned two innocent men to everlasting Google-image infamy. Front-paging the FBI’s internally-distributed email depicting possible persons of interest is just the sort of sound journalistic judgement the Post is famous for
It’s not surprising, though, that Rupert might already be feeling some resentment for the FBI. .The way they intrude into his business is simply appalling! Who do they think they are, Rupert Murdoch?

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 04/20/13 at 05:28 PM
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Categories: ImagesNewsPoliticsOur Stupid MediaSkull Hampers

Monday, April 08, 2013

Ozymaggias

Thatcher resignation, 1990
Steve Bell covers Thatcher’s resignation in 1990 (click to enlarge).

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: “Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

P.B. Shelley

I despaired this morning when I heard the news that Margaret Thatcher was dead at 87. Not because her passing upsets me. I’d already celebrated that in late 1990, when her party finally realized the old bat was potty, the wheels had long fallen off the Iron Lady, and she was growing even more unpopular than her historically record-breaking low approval ratings might have anticipated, and she needed to be removed from office for their own good before she took them down with her.

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I recall walking round the streets of Greenock that day, in something of a daze, overhearing a couple of old guys on a street corner in conversation: “She’s gone, then.” “Aye.” It had been a long, difficult era from her election in 1979, when as a politically inexperienced 19-year-old I barely realized what she was about to usher in, through the horrible early 1980s, protesting against the Falklands War and the UK and US’s saber-rattling in the face of the “Soviet threat,” then the Middle East adventures that were a pale prologue to those of the 2000s, and being subjected to none too subtle state surveillance for my troubles, to standing on my doorstep one morning faced with a court official who was threatening to send the bailiffs round to confiscate what little property I had.

That last event happened because Ms YAFB and I had had the audacity to do as we’d been encouraged by the government and set up a small business in the teeth of a recession, our industry—publishing—was being more than decimated, work had dried up, we’d submitted accounts the local council needed to decide whether we were eligible for some benefit to help pay our Council Tax (a.k.a. Poll Tax), and they’d somehow lost the papers we’d sent in (not for the first time). No court date for a hearing. A sheriff somewhere had heard our case among a slew of others some time earlier. We were never offered the opportunity to attend and put forward our side of the case. The first we knew was a lunatic demand in the post for immediate payment of an absurd amount of money we had no prospect of finding. And so I stood there as this besuited, rather shifty guy threatened me with sending round the heavies.

That was Thatcher’s Britain. Or a small series of snapshots of it. And we got off lightly compared to many. We survived. Survived to see Thatcher leave office in tears.

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Posted by YAFB on 04/08/13 at 11:35 AM
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