Paul Ryan

Thursday, September 04, 2014

Cogito ergo sum Presidential Timber

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Good Lord, please spare me from the efforts of “the intellectual leader of the Republican Party” trying to sound presidential.

First it was his fluffer-nutter of a presidential prospect book The Way Forward: Renewing The American Idea, whatever the hell that means. [Tip: reading it doesn’t help with that]

Then yesterday, Rep Paul Ryan (R-WI) took the opportunity to zing President Obama’s foreign policy for creating the “power vacuum” in Iraq and Syria that led directly to the rise of ISIS and, inexorably, the beheading of Steven Sotloff:

Ryan had been taking questions from a panel of reporters during a Milwaukee luncheon when he was asked to respond to a news report that journalist Steven Sotloff had been beheaded. The congressman asked the several hundred people in the audience to observe a moment of silence, and then suggested that the Islamic State’s rise to power coincided with a series of Obama missteps.

“I do think a good deal of this rise stem(s) from bad decisions made by the administration in foreign policy with respect to Syria and Iraq,” Ryan said, adding, “Those decisions created a vacuum which is now being filled by ISIS,” a reference to the Islamic State.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 09/04/14 at 05:52 AM
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Sunday, August 24, 2014

Republican Action Hero Mitt Romney’s Electoral Advice For The 100%

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Yesterday Willard “Mitt” Romney and his former running-mate, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) met up for the first time since their 2012 tilt at the White House.  The two got together for a little bromantic back and forth, waxing poetic about each other’s “presidential timber,” and to discuss the Republican Wunderkind’s entry in the 2014 preliminary round of the “Does This Serious Book Make Me Look Presidential” book writing fair. 

Ryan’s book, The Way Forward: Renewing the American Idea is, I have to assume, Rep. Ryan’s plan for renewing the “American idea,” whatever that is when it’s at home . . . perhaps he felt that the old standby, “American Dream,” creates overly grand expectations among the 99%?
Brother Romney, an “action man,” himself, had this advice :

If people want to actually see action in this country and dealing with problems from education to health care, immigration to our fiscal needs ... they’re going to have to vote for Republican senators and ... a Republican president, as well.

 

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Posted by Bette Noir on 08/24/14 at 02:55 PM
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Wednesday, July 09, 2014

GOP Shooting Blanks In The War On Poverty

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Today, Rep. Todd Rokita (R-IN) submitted a post to RealClearPolitics.com entitled “Why the War on Poverty Failed & How We Can Win It.”  Let me spare you any undue excitement—he never really got around to detailing either.

Evidently. Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) has stepped away from his somewhat embarrassing stint as front-man for the GOP’s “50 Years of Fail” concern trolling over the fact that, despite the War On Poverty program there are still poor people.  That leaves the position open for some newbie back-benchers to cut their teeth on.

Whatever . . . Rokita has picked up the torch but appears to be having a little trouble keeping it lit.  As we know from past encounters, Rep. Rokita is a bit of a wag—you might remember him as the chauvinist swashbuckler who reprimanded CNN journalist Carol Costello about her barbed questions during last Fall’s government shutdown, saying “Carol, you’re beautiful, but you have to be honest as well.”

Or that time, in 2007, when, while encouraging Republicans to appeal to more African-American voters, Rokita cited the statistic that 90% of African-Americans vote Democratic then asked:

How can that be? Ninety to ten. Who’s the master and who’s the slave in that relationship? How can that be healthy?

You get the picture . . . so Todd starts out waggish:

Fine, I admit it, you caught us red-handed—the Republican Party is the party of the “rich.”

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Posted by Bette Noir on 07/09/14 at 01:48 PM
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Saturday, June 21, 2014

“Lyin’ Ryan” Accuses IRS Commissioner of . . . Lying.

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Well, it’s been a rather surreal week what with every neocon zombie rising from the crypt to dance on the graves of the hundreds of thousands whose lives they destroyed playing their chickenhawk war games.  And the media rushing to capture their every demented word on the matter as if it had anything to do with reality.  Or truth.  Or integrity.

The whole business seemed to blindside a fair number of Americans who registered a collective STFU you squirrelly nutjobs—we got rid of you for a reason.

I think the most galling thing about this hallucinatory political theater is that most sane, average Americans expect that when people in high places are exposed as liars, traitors, cheats and troublemakers they will somehow have the good grace to shuffle away from the limelight and lead lives of quiet desperation, grateful that their fellow citizens have not punished them as severely as they deserve.

But, as we learned this week, some people are simply not “wired” like the rest of us.  They don’t play by the same rules and they are obviously not burdened by conscience.  Mental health experts might diagnose such people as victims of antisocial personality disorders. 

A few of the characteristics of antisocial personality disorder are:

Superficial charm and good intelligence
Absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking
Unreliability
Untruthfulness and insincerity
Lack of remorse and shame
Poor judgment and failure to learn by experience
Pathological egocentricity and incapacity for love

We all know a few—these people blend.  They are not disturbed enough to commit but they are certainly disturbed enough to wreak havoc in the lives of those they touch.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 06/21/14 at 12:35 PM
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Friday, March 21, 2014

Can We Just Cut the Post-Racism Crap Right Now?

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Well, I suppose it was only a matter of time before the editors of The Wall Street Journal came up with a snippy, little “both sides do it” apologia for Paul Ryan’s recent “inarticulate” exploration of “inner city culture.”

Oh my, where do I begin . . . how about the first sentence?

A week later, and liberals are still lining up to assail Paul Ryan’s “racism.” The episode is worth noting not because Mr. Ryan said anything wrong, but because of what it shows about the political habits of today’s elected and media left.

Well! that obsessive “elected and media left” just won’t quit distracting the “elected right” from mounting it’s 52nd attempt to Repeal Obamacare, or its important effort to assign a special prosecutor to teach Lois Lerner a lesson about Liberty.

Seriously, WSJ eds?

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Posted by Bette Noir on 03/21/14 at 03:47 PM
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Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Think They’d Settle For a Cage Fight?

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One thing that’s truly exceptional about Americans is their firm belief that this is their planet and they make the sun shine and the rain fall on it.  If something good happens on Earth?  Americans had a hand in it.  If something bad happens on Earth?  Americans will fix it, tout de suite.  Got problems?  send America “your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore” and we’ll whip ‘em into shape.

And, after running The Greatest Show On Earth for over 200 years now, Americans are the world’s go-to experts on every topic under the sun, because . . . we say so.  And the First Amendment guarantees that we get to say just about anything with authority and it must be respected.

So.  If we don’t believe in evolution or climate change or bad things happening in American History, well, goshdangit, it doesn’t exist.  And, to make sure it keeps on not existing, we’ll change the textbooks so our chilluns ain’t infected by bad ideas.  And this is possible because, in America, a scientist has no more say than Sarah Palin.  We’re a democracy, don’t you know? 

What is it about the democratization of ignorance that some folks find so intoxicating?

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Posted by Bette Noir on 03/19/14 at 10:44 AM
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Thursday, March 13, 2014

Man Up, Poors!  Paul Ryan Is Nobody’s Fool

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Mr Big Stuff (aka Rep. Ryan), Congress’ self-apointed Poors Troll, sent his personal drone out over a few American urban centers and determined “ya got trouble, right here in River City.” 

This is how Ryan sees it:

We have got this tailspin of culture, in our inner cities in particular, of men not working and just generations of men not even thinking about working or learning to value the culture of work, so there is a real culture problem here that has to be dealt with.

In case that sounds like political argle-bargle to you, Laura Clawson, a linguist with expertise in political argle-bargle over at Markos’ Place offered up this helpful translation:

The problem is “in our inner cities” (where the black people live) where men (black men) are “not even thinking about working.” It’s a “real culture problem” (black culture).

Thank you, Laura.  That’s what I thought.  Now that we’re all post-racist it hardly seems necessary to speak in tongues about racism, anymore, but Mr Ryan is, after all, a conservative.  So, maybe he’s not ready to shed his political correctness for that bold leap into 21st century overt racism, yet.

Of course, the well-read and wonktastic, Rep Ryan (R-Planet Derp) supported his argle-bargle with citations from Charles Murray.  Evidently, Ryan’s scholarly quest has advanced from Ayn “Queen of Mean” Rand’s dystopic, but not overtly “colorful” maunderings, to Murray, a white nationalist specializing in pseudo-scientific studies that “prove” that social inequality is caused by genetic inferiority.

In Murray’s own words:

A huge number of well-meaning whites fear that they are closet racists, and this book tells them they are not. It’s going to make them feel better about things they already think but do not know how to say.

—regarding his book, Losing Ground, quoted in “Daring Research or Social Science Pornography?: Charles Murray,” The New York Times Magazine, 1994

Well, I have good news and bad news, Mr Ryan—if you are taken in by this sophomoric pseudo-sociological crap you are a lot dumber than you come across (and that’s saying something) but you’re no closet racist.  You’re an out and about, down and dirty hardcore bigot.  And no amount of P90X, deer-stalking and catfish noodling is ever going to make you a man, let alone a principled man.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 03/13/14 at 11:15 AM
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Friday, March 07, 2014

Listen Up, Poors!  Feed Your Souls!

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(h/t Big Bad Bald Bastard - what a swell idea!)

OK Poors, maybe you can’t afford to go to CPAC to feel the love, in person, and learn all of the great ways Conservatives can change your lives but that’s where Rump Roast can help by reporting the Good News (wouldn’t a nice hunk of rump roast taste really good right now?). 

Fahgeddaboudit! Poors.  Feed Your Souls, you silly moochers.  So what if your parents are welfare-sucking meth heads who haven’t gotten dressed since 2006 and who are too busy feeding their heads to put apples in brown bags for you?  Stay hungry!

Jesus and the GOP love you.  And Paul Ryan has spent a lot of time and taxpayer dollars flying from swing state to swing state to investigate your plight and he now has a shitload of Poor Ideas!

P.S.  Remember Poors, it’s not the policies that suck, it’s the word choice.

RYAN/POORS 2016

And for even more #RyanFail please visit yr Wonkette.

Posted by Bette Noir on 03/07/14 at 07:49 AM
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Thursday, March 06, 2014

Bad News, Poors!  Paul Ryan Wants to Take Away Free Lunch at Schools!

So you will be free to once again lurve your children.  Speaking at CPAC he opined:

He then told an anecdote he said was relayed to him by Eloise Anderson, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker’s (R) Department of Children and Families secretary.

“She once met a young boy from a very poor family, and every day at school, he would get a free lunch from a government program,” Ryan said.

“He told Eloise he didn’t want a free lunch. He wanted his own lunch, one in a brown-paper bag just like the other kids,” he continued. “He wanted one, he said, because he knew a kid with a brown-paper bag had someone who cared for him. This is what the left does not understand.”

Yes we libs think having kids get a free hot lunch at school (not to mention breakfast) is the height of parental neglect and lack of caring.  And not, you know, maybe lack of food and neat brown bags in the house.

Why does Paul Ryan hate the Poors he’s trying to save so much?

via

Posted by marindenver on 03/06/14 at 03:03 PM
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Tuesday, March 04, 2014

Good News, Poors! Paul Ryan Vows To Win the War On Poverty

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According to some conservative observers, Paul Ryan is ripening nicely into an even more serious fellow and Big Thinker than we might have guessed, based on his previous performance in Romney/Ryan 2012.

In a departure from his earlier Conservative Tough Love position, Ryan’s most recent philopsophical meanderings have led him to investigate the plight of America’s Poor and how sadly the bleeding-heart-liberals’ Big Government War on Poverty has failed them for so long.

As he shared with his fellow Big Thinkers at The Wall Street Journal:

For 50 years, we’ve been going in the wrong direction, and liberals want to march on. Some in Washington insist that you’re concerned for the poor only if you’re committed to a path that has failed the poor. But the question isn’t whether we should do more or less of the same. It is which new direction will work best.

The MSM editors at Bloomberg Review beg to disagree:

Ryan paints the past five decades of fighting poverty as a lost cause. He is mostly wrong: Presidents from Johnson to Reagan to Clinton all made their contributions, and evidence shows federal programs reduce the poverty rate by almost half. At the same time, it would be a mistake to call the welfare state an unmitigated success. Its programs must be constantly re-evaluated, and its failures terminated.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 03/04/14 at 03:23 PM
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Friday, December 27, 2013

A Pope And A Republican Walk Into A Bar . . .

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I grew up in a blue-collar steel-town in the Rust Belt, schooled by nuns, during the papacy of “The Good Pope” of Vatican II—John XXIII, and the presidency of John Fitzgerald Kennedy, the first Catholic President of the United States.  It doesn’t get more Catholic than that.

Those were the days, my friend . . . change was in the air.  And little Catholic school girls, like myself, were growing into natural liberals. We were the children of American Dreamers and veterans who had fought to make the world safe for Democracy.  Nothing would hold us back from making the world a better place for all God’s children to live.

So, imagine my surprise when, as a young adult, it became increasingly clear to me that the Church that had been partially responsible for shaping my political beliefs was becoming more and more conservative—and Republican, as I watched.

As time went by and Americans actually talked about issues like abortion, contraception and same sex-marriage, the clergy, anxious to protect their own social policy agenda from the attack of modernity, found natural allies in the GOP’s growing base on the Religious Right.

It was a marriage made in heaven.  Mature, hard-working, mostly white people with conservative social and economic values were welcome under the GOP Big Top.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 12/27/13 at 01:45 PM
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Sunday, December 22, 2013

The Burnishing, Part II:  In Which Mr Ryan Declares War on the War on Poverty

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[Source image by the brilliant Terry Gilliam of Monty Python]

Paul Ryan has some big decisions to make in the near term, one of them being, of course, whether or not he’d like to be the Leader of the Free World.  Because he is a Big Ideas man, Ryan has most likely realized that if he wants to go for it, he’ll have to rid himself of the lingering scent of eau de Loser that he picked up on the RomneyBus.

To that end, Rep. Ryan is recasting himself as the Neo Compassionate Conservative and the courtier press is only too happy to polish his nibs.  The Washington Post, which appears to be willing to cast its nets further and further offshore, in these post-print days, kicked off #RyanMania with a verbose and glowing fanzine profile of Paul Ryan, Champion of the Poor, last month.

BuzzFeed trumped that with Paul Ryan, Man of God more recently.

Seriously.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 12/22/13 at 10:50 AM
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Monday, December 16, 2013

The Fool On The Hill

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For those of you, like me, who were hornswoggled by the notion that something paranormal had knocked Paul Ryan off his ass on the road to Janesville, last week—my sympathy.  I know how stupid you feel.

Just as the third chorus of Kumbaya had faded on the breeze and Patty Murray peeled off to do something better, Paul Ryan betook himself to Mr Chris Wallace’s World of Whimsy on Fox News Sunday for a preview of the GOP’s plan to amp up America’s Post Holiday Blues.

To wit:

We as a caucus—along with our Senate counterparts—are going to meet and discuss what it is we’re going to want out of the debt limit.  We don’t want nothing out of this debt limit. We’re going to decide what it is we’re going to accomplish out of this debt limit fight.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 12/16/13 at 08:35 AM
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Monday, October 07, 2013

Amazing Disgrace

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So.  Apparently, over the weekend, the GOP did just what Rep. Jim McDermott (D-WA) predicted.  They “. . . figure(d) out they F*ck*n lost,” the government shutdown spin cycle and have executed an impressive grande jeté in the general direction of the debt ceiling.

Do not, however, expect that the change of focus to a far more damaging objective will, in any way, temper the illogical ignorance, silliness and breathtaking incompetence that Republicans brought to last week’s discussions, debates and posturings.

Nope.  This is only Monday and we already have howlers ranging from Sen. Tom Coburn’s(R-OK) belief that there is “no such thing as a debt ceiling” to Rep. Ted Yoho’s (R-FL) hallucinatory vision that not raising the US debt limit would “have a stabilizing effect on global markets.”

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Posted by Bette Noir on 10/07/13 at 02:43 PM
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Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Up On a Tightrope

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A lot of folks, on both sides of the political spectrum, have expressed some amount of surprise that House Republican leaders have come out so unequivocally and forcefully in support of President Obama’s plan to carry out a military strike against the Syrian regime for its use of chemical weapons on its own population.

I, myself, would like to go on record as not the least little bit surprised by that development.  Let’s face it, it sucks to be a Republican in Obama’s second term.  It’s one thing to keep a straight face for four years of birthers, conspiracy theories, socialism, creeping sharia and Agenda 21 if it’ll get you the cracker factory vote.  But now, given the cyclical nature of government business, it’s time to act the fool all over again for very diminished returns.

For nine long months, Republicans have been biding their time, waiting for another chance to take a whack at the economy.  That doesn’t mean they had a clue or anything approaching a consensus on how they would play it, nevertheless they were ready to rumble—nine whole days in September, to threaten a government shutdown.  Then, round about the holidays, the BIG EVENT - debt limit, dundundun.

On August 1st, no one would have predicted that a punitive attack on Syria would zip to the top of the agenda.  When Republicans went off to their home districts and summer vacations, they were all about defunding Obamacare, shutting down the government, defaulting on their debt and trying to forget their humiliating Farm Bill debacle.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 09/04/13 at 09:19 AM
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