I have no idea what I clicked to get here, but now I can’t contain my excitement at the prospect of looking this professional and empowered, for only a penny-per-month more than the cost of a Glenn Beck-style Survival Seed Garden.
Plus, who could fail to be ensnared by compelling, hypnotic ad copy like this?:
A professional website design establishes you as a serious contender, and catches the eye of your supporters (and, likely, your opponents). More importantly, it gives you credibility. You know you are running a professional campaign, but the world needs to know it too.
Yes, by God, I AM serious…and the world MUST know who I am! Where do I sign…and does this deal include that Tweetie thing?
Good morning, and I do hope you remembered to set your clocks back 1 hour.*
As is often the case in times of rapid momentous change, Twitter has stepped up to the mark in the face of these developments you may already have heard about:
It’s been a brawl for years, this education culture war that seems to take on a particularly vicious turn in the heart of Texas. The latest and most important round, a drastic revision of the social studies curriculum standards to put a conservative spin on history and economics textbooks, was given preliminary approval after a series of heated meetings of the Texas Board of Education that didn’t do much to improve the image of the nation’s second largest state as a sometimes small-minded political and educational backwater.
In a matter of days last week in Austin, the majority of the 15-member board, insisting they were only trying to offset liberal bias in textbooks, questioned Darwin’s theory of evolution and the constitutional principle of separation of church and state; debated hip-hop and genocide in Darfur; deleted Albert Einstein and Thomas Alva Edison from textbooks; emphasized Christian teachings and fundamentalist values; adopted conservative articles of faith like American exceptionalism; promoted right-wing leaders and organizations like Phyllis Schlafly and the National Rifle Association; and refused to give adequate attention to Hispanic and African American contributions to U.S. and Texas history.
Meet the Republican who wants to take Chris Van Hollen’s (D-MD8) seat [via the Washington Post]:
Murray Hill might be the perfect candidate for this political moment: young, bold, media-savvy, a Washington outsider eager to reshape the way things are done in the nation’s capital. And if these are cynical times, well, then, it’s safe to say Murray Hill is by far the most cynical.
As this race unfolds, the winning coalition for us is clearer and clearer. There are three demographic variables that explain almost all of the voters in the primary—gender, party, and income. Race is a factor as well, but we are fighting hard to neutralize it.
We are the candidate of people with needs.
We win women, lower classes, and Democrats (about 3 to 1 in our favor).
Obama wins men, upper class, and independents (about 2 to 1 in his favor).
Edwards draws from these groups as well.
Our winning strategy builds from a base of women, builds on top of that a lower and middle class constituency, and seeks to minimize his advantages with the high class democrats.
If we double perform with WOMEN, LOWER AND MIDDLE CLASS VOTERS, then we have about 55% of the voters.
The reason the Invisible Americans is so powerful is that it speaks to exactly how you can be a champion for those in needs [sic]. He may be the JFK in the race, but you are the Bobby.
Quelle surprise!
Too bad Lambert wasn’t an Obot. A much more skilled operator like Axelrove would have been manipulating him by remote control to terrorize Hillary’s angel-like supporters by the time the Iowa caucuses rolled around. Thug 4 Life!
Alaskan blog Palingates, which broke the story on March 3, additionally serves up some compelling speculation on the mystery of why Sarah Palin was standing in front of a snowmachine in her TV commercial spot promoting the Iditarod, which is rather famously a dog-sledding event. Opportunistic product placement or spontaneous scene propping? You decide.
Beyond that, the jokes write themselves: The CBS story notes that Citgo has been the target of repeated Wingnut boycott initiatives. Palingates includes a video from the 2008 Primary where Sarah admits to a Venezuelan interviewer that she believes Hugo Chavez is a dictator. Chavez responded at the time by calling Sarah a confused “Beauty Queen.” Elsewhere, Salon split the difference by dubbing Sarah the “Hugo Chavez of Alaska.”
Optically, this is a bad look for the Palins. But perhaps embracing foreign socialist Enemy-of-America sponsors and cashing paychecks from dictators is just a “common sense solution” for energy self-sufficiency she hasn’t shared with us yet.
Fulfilling his bloggy mission, Zandar points out the stupid in this wingnut-prØn poll, which finds that, according to Americans, the US has lost international standing during the Obama administration:
What a ridiculous poll. If you want to know how the US is perceived internationally by non-Americans, why are you asking Americans?
Good question, Zandar. As it turns out, Gallup released a poll last month that actually did gauge non-American perceptions of American leadership and presents data from 2006-2009:
Gawd. “America’s Truth Detector” lives like my Aunt TilliePercy Dovetonsils.
Rush Limbaugh has placed his full-floor 5th Avenue penthouse on sale for $13.95 million. HuffPo has photos here.
Rush’s vast collection of Keane paintings, Capodimonte lamps and lace antimacassars to be sold separately on HSN.
UPDATE: Fellow ‘Roaster Betty Cracker does me ten better in the comments:
Say Don Ho and Liberace had a love child who ate a greasy meal at a cheap Midwestern fish house and chased it with innumerable Captain Morgan and Tab cocktails, then vomited beach kitsch and ornate accoutrements all over a Red Roof Inn bridal suite. The resulting mess might resemble this:
It’s Rush Limbaugh’s bedroom—a sight heretofore seen only by maids with hillbilly heroin connections, brainless, amoral gold-diggers and perhaps Caribbean sex tourist kidnap victims. And it can be yours for only $14M.
Betty says it all: “More proof that money can’t buy class.” Plus, you have to wonder how many of his truck-drivin’, coal-minin’, Good Ole Boy listeners he’s had up to the Parlor for Pousse Café and finger dainties.
Very sad news. Al Weisel, freelance writer and the blogger known as Jon Swift, has passed away due to a sudden aortic aneurysm. He was a great guy and a wonderfully witty writer. He will be sorely missed. Tom Watson has more information here.
One of Politico’s famous unnamed sources rips the mask off Madam Speaker Nancy Patricia D’Alesandro Pelosi. In a stunning exposé, we learn that the San Francisco liberal and nana of seven is really a stone-cold killer just itching to whack people—even political allies—execution-style:
Pelosi “will put a bullet in the head of anyone she needs to,” said a Democratic insider. “Rangel, any incumbent that looks like he’s going to lose. She’ll do anything it takes to keep her majority, anything.”
Nancy the Knife joins noted thug Darcy “DBurn” Burner (who made her bones by personally busting a cap in the ass of single payer advocates) in setting the new standard for gansta in the Obama era.
...just like the damned Missile Defense Agency logo. Fuckin’ geometric shapes are taking over America and laughing at WE THE PEOPLE, dude.
What are they gonna say about Frank Gaffney? What are they gonna say? That he was a kind man? That he was a wise man? That he had plans, man? That he had wisdom? Bullshit, man!
Is Weigel right? Or will Hillary jam the throttle and go auguring into the conning tower of the USS Mulligan, in a last-ditch Hail-Mary run against Obama, Palin and/or an Insane Teabagger TBA? Inquiring minds are obviously bored to paste-eating distraction with C-SPAN and the Olympics.
Enraged, gamma ray-infused Meta-Loon and New-Media-of-the-Absurd info-mogul Andrew Breitbart recently appeared on FoxNews’ reality shitcom “Red Eye,” where he announced to fellow Wingnut bilge-bellows Greg Gutfeld that he wanted to “go down on in history” as the man who would rain ultimate destruction on “the Institutional Left”...in about three weeks, give or take, weather permitting.
And, no, he didn’t actually reveal his dreaded Five-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique for busting the balls of Radical Liberalism. But, judging from the clips of his offstage rampage at CPAC, it seems likely to involve continuing to be a self-promoting, confrontational hosebag/bully.
[H/T to Matt Yglesias, via Betty Cracker and Kevin K.]
