Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I Am Treasury

Obama rolled out his economic team yesterday, and I thought, “Meh.” I don’t have no steenking PhD in economics from an elitist university and was in fact an English major at a state school with a top-tier football team, but I could do better in the “bold ideas” department. Even if I did have to Google “number zeros trillion” to determine the basis of my plan.

According to Bloomberg, the total tab for the government bailout is approaching the neighborhood of $7 trillion, which is a pretty goddamn swank neighborhood if you ask me. The population of the US is right around 300 million. So what if we told Citigroup, AIG, GM, Ford, et al, to fuck off and instead divided that $7 trillion amongst the citizenry? If I’ve got my zeros right, every man, woman and child would receive upwards of $23K.

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/25/08 at 08:44 AM

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Puck Falin

Tonight Sarah “Hockey Mom” Palin will drop the puck for the Philadelphia Flyers’ home opener against the New York Rangers.  Count my voice among the growing chorus of hockey fans who think this was yet another disastrous decision by McCain’s strategists. Here’s one example of what’s coming her way (from a very wise Minutemen fan):

I will join my wife (who will proudly be sporting a “Puck Falin” sign with the “P” as the Flyers’ logo) and a whole lot of others in hurling verbal abuse your way. You are out of your league, governor. Go back home.

If you’d like to take a tour of how this decision is playing out with Flyers fans you can check out these message boards here and here. If you’d like a brief sample, here ya go:

i estimate a 95 mph slapshot is needed to knock the stupid out of her.

And then there’s this:

this is philly, we boo santa claus

Game on.

UPDATE: R.J. has a great screenshot from the puck drop. Obama/Biden 08!

MORE: Here’s another shot for you, with two Obama/Biden signs visible.

FINAL UPDATE: “How dare they boo Piper!” (Hat tip Denise)

Posted by Kevin K. on 10/11/08 at 05:18 PM

Categories: NewsPoliticsElection '08St. McSameNuttersSarah PalinSports

Saturday, September 27, 2008

“Basketball Jones” by Cheech & Chong


Posted by Kevin K. on 09/27/08 at 08:06 AM

Categories: Knee SlappersMusicMusic VideosSportsYouTubidity

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Drug-Addled Douchebag Rush Limbaugh to Purchase St. Louis Rams?

I hate the St. Louis Rams with the white-hot heat of ten-thousand suns. I still despise them for benefitting from the blatantly bogus overturning of a completed pass during the 1999 playoff game vs. my Tampa Bay Bucs. (Think this is just partisan bitching? The NFL enacted the “Bert Emanuel rule” after that season to prevent future playoff contenders from being similarly boned.)

My loathing of the Rams grew as they went on to win the Super Bowl they backed into with a bad call, and my contempt expanded exponentially when their QB, Kurt Warner, slobberingly insisted during the post-game interview that Jesus Himself had personally engineered the Rams’ win:

Immediately after the Rams’ victory at the Super Bowl, an interviewer began, “Kurt, first things first—tell me about the final touchdown pass to Isaac.” Kurt responded, “Well, first things first, I’ve got to thank my Lord and Savior up above—thank You, Jesus!”

I suppose Jesus arranged the bogus call during the playoffs too, the bastard. (But Satan would have his revenge in Super Bowl XXXVII, when the Bucs spanked the Raiders. As Kathy Griffin would say, “Suck it, Jesus!”)

Anyway, I didn’t think it was possible to hate the Rams even more. Until I saw this. Heck, maybe it’s a good fit. The Rams’ coaching staff is mostly white (though Brian Baker may want to spiff up his resume), and George Steinbrenner can finally relinquish the “biggest asshole in sports ownership” title.

Limbaugh’s motives are obvious – he’s still smarting from having to resign in disgrace after his racist remark about Donovan McNabb during his mercifully short-lived MNF tenure. This is a way to get the NFL to sit up and take notice. The corpulent gasbag craves attention like a drug.

And speaking of drugs, aren’t NFL locker rooms just littered with narcotics? They probably have Vicodin and OxyContin sitting around in candy dishes between the hot tubs and massage tables. Limbaugh heaven. 

[Cross-posted at Betty Cracker]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 07/30/08 at 08:01 AM

Categories: PoliticsPUMAsSports

A Horse Named Arrrrrrrrrr

UPDATED below the fold with videos of two full races featuring Arrrrrrrrr the horse and the same announcer…

read the whole post »

Posted by Kevin K. on 07/30/08 at 08:00 AM

Categories: Knee SlappersSportsTelevisionYouTubidity

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Dark Bobby Knight

I’m posting this because:

a) A Season on the Brink is not only my favorite sports book of all time, but also one of the best non-fiction books I have ever read.
b) The video mashup contains several clips of Bobby Knight I haven’t seen before.
c) I’m Not Feeling You Politics

Oh ... and careful @ work.  Lots of swearin’.

Posted by Kevin K. on 07/15/08 at 07:06 PM

Categories: Knee SlappersMoviesSportsYouTubidity

Monday, April 07, 2008

Free Tibet

In light of the news this morning (“Oh noes, not the torch!”), I figured I’d pass on an oped written by my pal John, the founding director of Students for a Free Tibet, that was printed in The Hartford Courant last Wednesday:

Tibet has been occupied since the Chinese army crossed into eastern Tibet in 1949. A steady effort to transfer Chinese people into Tibet has made Tibetans a minority in cities across their remote Himalayan land.

The destruction of several thousand monasteries followed by decades of strict control of Buddhist practice has eroded the foundation of Tibetan Buddhism such that monasteries in exile are now stronger than those in Tibet.

The Tibetan flag is banned, as are photographs of the Dalai Lama. Three generations of Tibetans have been born and matured under occupation.

Despite all this, China has failed to absorb the Tibetan people, or eliminate their thirst for freedom. And like kids who finally get fed up with being pushed around in the hallway, the bullied are turning on the bully.

Read it all.

Posted by Kevin K. on 04/07/08 at 09:17 AM

Categories: NewsPoliticsEditorialsSports

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Barack Obama sucks at bowling

The secret has been revealed: Barack Obama sucks at bowling.

And now for some perspective…

These guys don’t suck at bowling:

This ends today’s edition of Barack Obama sucks at bowling.

Posted by Kevin K. on 04/02/08 at 08:29 AM

Categories: NewsPoliticsBarack ObamaElection '08Hillary ClintonPolisnarkSports

Friday, March 21, 2008

No, Pt. 2

Once again, no, I don’t want to talk about it.

Actually, San Diego played a gutsy and smart game. Congrats.

Posted by Kevin K. on 03/21/08 at 06:02 PM

Categories: Sports

Friday, March 14, 2008


I don’t feel like talking about it. All I know is thank god I was at work when the game was on and forgot to set the DVR.

I’m blaming the loss on Fleadicker.

Posted by Kevin K. on 03/14/08 at 09:05 AM

Categories: Sports

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Jeff Gordon: NASCAR’s Hillary Clinton

Geepers, if Hillshills think the MSM is tough on Hillary, let her try spending a day in Jeff Gordon’s, errrrrrr,  jumpsuit.  Look at the questions from “fans” that TIME recently hurled at him:

    How does it feel to go from the kid to the old man on the tour? What’s it like to hear people booing you? Will having Dale Earnhardt Jr. as a teammate cut down on the number of bottles and cans thrown at you when you win at Talladega this year? If Dale Earnhardt Jr. is in the lead for another win at Daytona, would you bump him and take out your team member? Why is it that some parts of the country support you and others don’t? Your wife is taller than you. Has that ever made you self-conscious?




Posted by Kevin K. on 02/13/08 at 04:53 AM

Categories: PoliticsElection '08Hillary ClintonSports

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Goodbye, Bobby

In typically weird form, Bobby Knight, the winningest men’s coach in college basketball history, has resigned as coach of Texas Tech, effective immediately. Say what you want about the guy (and a lot of people have), but he sure was entertaining.  And Season on the Brink is still my favorite sports book (by far) of all-time. Highly recommended.

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/05/08 at 07:42 AM

Categories: NewsSports

Saturday, January 26, 2008

It wasn’t supposed to end this way…

Jake and Khalid

Two of the happiest moments in my life occurred in 1999. The best of those was when I married my wonderful wife Chris in front of family and friends on a scorching July day on a classed-up barge docked by the Brooklyn Bridge. The other great moment unfolded in a tiny Fort Greene studio apartment that was crammed with several of my college pals as we watched our beloved Connecticut Huskies beat the repulsive Duke Blue Devils in the NCAA basketball championship game. When the game ended we were all jumping up and down so much you could actually feel the geriatric wood floors flexing from the stress. We laughed, we cried, we high-fived like fools, we ran to the rooftop garden and screamed at the top of our lungs. It was a great night that turned into a great drunken morning (and a really bad next day at work).

Fast forward to 2008 and it’s been a bit of a chore to be a Huskies fan of late. The 2006-07 season ended with a very young Huskies squad finishing a dismal 6-10 in the Big East during the regular season and, ultimately, not getting invited to either the NCAA or NIT tournaments. This year started out poorly as well, but UConn has been on a short, impressive run.  First they clobbered 13th-ranked Marquette and then beat formidable Cincinnati on their home court. Today they took on the Indiana Hoosiers and this is why I didn’t want to watch:

  • Indiana is currently ranked #7 in the nation and had a thirteen-game winning streak going into today’s game.  UConn is unranked and had a two-game winning streak going into today’s game.
  • The game was taking place in Indiana’s Assembly Hall and the Hoosiers had a 29-game home winning streak going into today’s game.
  • And if that wasn’t bad enough ... UConn coach Jim Calhoun indefinitely suspended starting shooting guard Jerome Dyson and bench guard (and occasional spark plug) Doug Wiggins.

It wasn’t supposed to end this way…

read the whole post »

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/26/08 at 05:09 PM

Categories: Sports

Sunday, January 13, 2008

It’s official: Jessica Simspon is now the most hated person in Dallas*

Congrats to the New York Giants, whose secondary was held together by duct tape, for beating Dallas tonight to advance to the NFC championships against Green Bay.  As a newly-flipped New York Jets fan (I finally decided to bail on the Cardinals—long story), it’s been impossible for me to sit through an entire NFL game this season, but I watched this entire game and it reminded me why I used to be a huge football fan.  A really great, nail-biting struggle, plus now I’ll definitely have someone to root for over the Patriots in the Super Bowl (yes, I’m already writing the Chargers off). Dagnabit, that was fun.

* Yes, she wasn’t at the game, but that doesn’t mean their fans still won’t find a way to blame her.  It had nothing to do with Romo becoming completely fucktarded when he was forced out of the pocket or that his receivers dropped several easy (and potentially lethal) passes.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/13/08 at 08:06 PM
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