Via Vanity Fair. Watch it and weep. Or wipe the tears of laughter out of your eyes, I’m not sure which.
Yes, pathetic fail of a “network”, RightNetwork, has launched “Whaddya Know Joe?”, a talk show hosted by Samuel Wurzelbacher, the loser never-was who is apparently going to hang stubbornly onto his 15 minutes until the end of time.
RightNetwork’s build up for the launch is hysterical too. I’ll let you read James Wolcott’s take:
RightNetwork’s buildup for Joe is embarrassingly fervid and heavy breathing, as if it were the star of Bethlehem reflected in the gleam of his cueball head that explains his blessed arrival.
“There’s a case to be made for divine intervention when it comes to Wurzelbacher.”
No, there isn’t. God can’t be that bored.
A lesser man might have been cowed when he saw the Democrat controlled media and state government lining up against him. A lesser man might have sought to go quietly back into obscurity. But Joe the Plumber was made of sterner stuff.
Yes, the stuff known as AN INSATIABLE APPETITE FOR ATTENTION, which sustained him in those long dark days in the gulag sharing a cement cell with the bitter remnants of Dennis Miller’s career.
According to an “insider” report, Droopy Dawg is packing it in; he will not stand for reelection in 2012. He’s scheduled a press conference to announce his future plans tomorrow. This raises a couple of troubling questions:
1) Who will dust John McCain’s wattles and fluff Lindsey Graham’s Bette Davis commemorative needlepoint throw pillows?
Lieberman redeemed himself somewhat with his efforts on the DADT repeal, but I’ll never forget what a colossal douchebag he was during the 2008 election or what a gigantic, throbbing hemorrhoid he was during the health care thingie.
If this rumor proves true, good riddance to the sanctimonious, mewling windbag.
Yes, had those eighteen million really withheld their votes, President McCain would be making a surprise Christmas visit to our 100% non-gay troops in Iran—whose heavily defended airstrip would be well-stocked with foam, we presume, for the President’s Vanity Landing.
Over at Cole’s place, the topic was, “John McCain: Senile, or Always This Way?”
Surgeon General’s Warning: People who don’t play this loud regularly tongue wash the ballsack of that fugly sanctimonious lying dickless maggot gnawing on a dead skunk’s arse that calls itself John McCain.
Louder. If you’ve been living your life according to the 12 Precepts of Soros your neighbors are already way too terrified to complain about a few cracks in the plaster.
Fine. Say hi to Sen. Wet Shart.
At least stop staring at Kevin’s RSS feed post. He’s really insecure about it.
Sen. War Hero McCain on the DADT survey, Sept. 28, 2010 [via JMG]:
“I urge you and Admiral Mullen to modify the review and the survey instrument, or to conduct supplemental surveys, aimed at ensuring that the question of whether the DADT policy should be changed is answered.”*
To which SoD Robert Gates replied:
Dear Sen. Crash & Burn,
I am not surprised you aren’t aware of how the military works. The only reason you got to ditch jets into the Gulf of Tonkin was because you rode through Annapolis on your daddy and granddaddy’s coat-tails. But since you missed the memo, allow me to remind you: The U.S. military is not a democracy. We do not vote on shit. Now get the hell out of my face, I’ve got a job to do.
Just kidding! Sec. Gates responded:
“I do not believe that military policy decisions — on this or any other subject — should be made through a referendum of Servicemembers.”
Sarah Palin’s ungrateful protégé has taken Snooki-Svegali’s anti-press strategy to a whole new level: At a town hall event this weekend, Miller’s hired security force handcuffed an Alaska reporter until the cops arrived and compelled them to free the man.
That’s one way to avoid answering questions about possible ethical lapses in a past government gig the anti-government poseur and inveterate government-teat-sucker is seeking to avoid. From Miller’s press release on the incident:
While Miller attempted to calmly exit the facility, the blogger physically assaulted another individual and made threatening gestures and movements towards the candidate. At that point the security personnel had to take action and intervened and detained the irrational blogger, whose anger overcame him. It is also important to note that the security personnel did not know that the individual they detained was a blogger who reporting on the campaign. To them, the blogger appeared irrational, angry and potentially violent.
However, the security dudes say they DID know the “liberal blogger” was journalist when they detained him:
“After I told him he was trespassing, he said he was a reporter,” Fulton said. “I said, ‘Sir, that doesn’t matter: you’ve been asked to leave, this is a private event.’ At that time, I told him again he was trespassing, then he hit the guy—he pushed the guy, well, pushed the guy, into the locker. And at that point we decided he had become violent and would effect the arrest.”
The reporter acknowledges he pushed a guy, but said he only did so after Miller’s goons got in his grill. He also claims it wasn’t a violent push since there was no “bounce:”
I thought politics here in Florida were screwy. Alaska politics seem like a weird hybrid of North Korea’s Hermit Kingdom, public access teevee and Wrestle Mania. Thanks again, John McCain, you miserable old shit.
On a different day, I might find its vitriol funny (YMMV, even this late in the day), but he loses me very quickly with his gratuitous ad homs and evident political bias against the inconvenient Ms. McCain. For example:
In the final analysis, however, I determined that most of Meghan’s flaws – such as her unbearable narcissism, delusions of persecution, anti-religious bigotry, and mendacity – couldn’t be chalked up to her manifestly below-average intelligence. These are blameworthy traits born of a malfunctioning moral compass, and they are laid bare in spades on every page of Dirty, Sexy Politics. Furthermore, it is important to address them because Meghan McCain’s book is an active attempt to split the Republican Party in two and thereby destroy its ability to win elections. And even though she is an idiot, she is a useful idiot in the hands of the media and other assorted Democrats, who also want to achieve this goal.
Will someone please stage an intervention with Mittens before he dumps tens of millions more devalued dollars into a doomed quest for the 2012 GOP nomination? The Five Sons of Mitt are the most obvious candidates for the task. The Romneys are loaded, but they are multiplying like bunnies and will eventually need every cent to keep the MiniMitts in MittMansions and Guatemalan gardeners.
Mitt’s definitely running, though, else why would he churn out hilarious shit like this?
The first rule of turnarounds is to focus time, energy and resources on what matters most. The president simply cannot treat this crisis like another of his many problems. The oil disaster could hurt millions of families, slam the regional economy, kill untold numbers of non-human lives and irreparably damage the planet. Among other things, he must not hold more rock concerts at the White House — I understand James Carville’s venting: His hero fiddled as oil churned.
That last sentence is a rather obvious lie—nobody really understands anything crazed-fetus-look-a-like Carville says, least of all Mitt, who is also too dumb to realize that Obama is hardly Carville’s hero. But no more rock concerts—great point.
Campaign manager Shiree Verdone is moving to a 2010 “Republican Victory” fundraising operation. Mike Hellon, a former Arizona Republican Party chairman who had a part-time role as deputy campaign manager, will join her there.
Neither Verdone nor Hellon was fired, said Brian Rogers, McCain’s campaign spokesman, who confirmed the staff changes Friday in a statement to The Arizona Republic.
Joe Lieberman thinks it would be a good idea for anyone suspected of being involved with a terrorist group to be stripped of their citizenship. The Department of State would be prosecutor, judge and jury in this decision. And he’s holding a presser tomorrow morning to introduce the proposed legislation. Constitution be damned! There’s terrorists lurking amongst us and we must do what it takes to avoid reading them their Miranda rights! Because, yes, that seems to be what this is all about.
Greg originally reported that Sen. Charles Schumer was leaning towards supporting this McCarthy inspired *legislation* but now reports that he was misinformed. So at least there’s that.
Let’s hope this will just go down as another grandstanding idiotic idea that does nothing but provide Lieberdouche with some prime time sound bites. It’s just hard to see how proposing to strip us of freedoms is somehow intended to protect our freedoms. But then it’s hard to see how some people walk and chew gum at the same time.
Attempted bombing suspect Faisal Shahzad should NOT have been read his Miranda rights! I mean he will just totally clam up and lawyer up and refuse to speak and now we’ll never, ever know . . . . and, um, what’s that? Oh, he did get read his Miranda rights and he sang like a canary. Never mind, then.
I just heard McCain explaining to Sean Hannity that it was a mistake to grant suspected half-assed Times Square bomber-wannabee Faisal Shahzad his Miranda rights as a US citizen, because Shahzad initially admitted involvement in the unbelievably half-assed non-bombing and because America has really effective, not-technically-torture interrogation methods that could have squeezed out the names of his accomplices and contacts without, you know, permanently crippling his arms or breaking his teeth or any of that VC-type bona fide torture stuff. Apparently, heThe Crimson Executioner Crash McMaverick also publicly warned against granting Miranda earlier today, for which The Atlantichas already called “Putz!” on him for being a tyrannical “Of the People, By the People, At My Convenience” dickhead.
Joe Lieberman, predictably, was also caught trying to manufacture a loophole in the Bill of Rights large enough to insert red-hot pincers and a serrated eye-gouger, public opinion permitting:
ThinkProgress has been all over this, so I’m guilty of recycling some fairly well-worn outrage. All I can add is my Blog-Pool For When Sarah Palin Will Twitter Her Call for “Common-Sense” Application of Due Process (Make your prediction in Comments!), and my totally cool pop-culture metaphor for Constitution-Optional Conservativism, which reveals itself in all its cheesy, soft-porn splendor below the fold.
With all that’s going wrong in America and around the world today, it’s important to remember how much better off we’d be with President John McCain, Vice President Sarah Palin, Secretary of State Joe Lieberman, Attorney General Lindsey Graham, Director of Homeland Security Randy Scheunemann, and Chief of Staff Joe the Plumber in charge. We really screwed up.