Teabaggery

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

GOP Launches Stealth Attack In War On Women: Bachmann For President!

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If you think you have it hard, consider what a bad couple of years Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) has had.  After that one great day in 2011 when she won the Ames, IA straw poll, poor Michele hasn’t been able to buy a break . . . not that she didn’t try.

If it’s not the FBI, DoJ and Office of Congressional Ethics poking their noses into her business and saying mean things about her leadership skills, it’s the danged homos making the bottom fall out of the Gay Reparative market.  Now Marcus is out of a scam job and it’s all down to Michele, who—Criminy—just retired from the House.  Book sales aren’t nearly covering the legal fees so it’s no time to be out of work.

But when the going gets tough, the tough get going . . . so Rep. Michele Bachmann, looking to her strengths, has decided that another run at the Oval Office might be just the thing!

The only thing that the media has speculated on is that it’s going to be various men that are running. They haven’t speculated, for instance, that I’m going to run. What if I decide to run? And there’s a chance I could run.

Like with anything else, practice makes perfect. “And I think if a person has gone through the process—for instance, I had gone through 15 presidential debates—it’s easy to see a person’s improvement going through that.

I haven’t made a decision one way or another if I’m going to run again, but I think the organization is probably the key.  To have an organization and people who surround you who are loyal, who are highly competent, who know how to be able to run the ball down the field in state after state—because now I think the primary process will be very different this time. It will tighten up; it will be a much shorter run than it was before.

Translation: that last group of F*k ups threw me under the bus when they weren’t smart enough to cover their tracks.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 07/23/14 at 12:03 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '16Hillary ClintonNuttersTeabaggeryWar On WomenRelijun

Wednesday, July 09, 2014

GOP Shooting Blanks In The War On Poverty

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Today, Rep. Todd Rokita (R-IN) submitted a post to RealClearPolitics.com entitled “Why the War on Poverty Failed & How We Can Win It.”  Let me spare you any undue excitement—he never really got around to detailing either.

Evidently. Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) has stepped away from his somewhat embarrassing stint as front-man for the GOP’s “50 Years of Fail” concern trolling over the fact that, despite the War On Poverty program there are still poor people.  That leaves the position open for some newbie back-benchers to cut their teeth on.

Whatever . . . Rokita has picked up the torch but appears to be having a little trouble keeping it lit.  As we know from past encounters, Rep. Rokita is a bit of a wag—you might remember him as the chauvinist swashbuckler who reprimanded CNN journalist Carol Costello about her barbed questions during last Fall’s government shutdown, saying “Carol, you’re beautiful, but you have to be honest as well.”

Or that time, in 2007, when, while encouraging Republicans to appeal to more African-American voters, Rokita cited the statistic that 90% of African-Americans vote Democratic then asked:

How can that be? Ninety to ten. Who’s the master and who’s the slave in that relationship? How can that be healthy?

You get the picture . . . so Todd starts out waggish:

Fine, I admit it, you caught us red-handed—the Republican Party is the party of the “rich.”

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Posted by Bette Noir on 07/09/14 at 01:48 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '14NuttersTeabaggeryPaul RyanRelijun

Monday, July 07, 2014

House of Representatives: Special Victims Unit

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What today’s GOP lacks in strategic success it more than makes up for with chutzpah and an apparent imperviousness to embarrassment.

Allow me to explain . . .

Make Obama a one-term president.  FAIL
Repeal Obamacare.  FAIL
Rehab the GOP for future electoral success.  FAIL
Create JOBS!JOBS!JOBS!  FAIL
Sabotage economic recovery.  FAIL
Maintain Perma-War status.  FAIL
Prove that the White House covered up its role in Benghazi.  FAIL
Prove that the White House unfairly targeted conservatives via IRS.  FAIL
Defend DOMA and prevent Marriage Equality.  FAIL

See what I mean?  These people are like the Eveready Bunnies of headbanging.

Their latest cry for attention is to sue the president for going about the business of presidenting in the hope that some justice-challenged judge will try to send President Obama to time-out . . . or something.

Right before the July 4th break, Speaker Boehner announced this fiendishly clever plan so that representatives of the fringier fringe could go home without being pelted with rotten tomatoes by the IMPEACH!!!OBUMMER!! faction.  You see, unfortunately, far too many clueless “Washington outsiders” were sent to the Capitol, in 2010, based on wild-eyed promises to repeal Obamacare and/or impeach the president for assorted crimes against TEA Party sensibilities.

Now the natives are getting restless and wondering what the hell is taking so loooooong? USA?

So it is that the GOP is feeding this new Impeachment Lite meme to distract the hordes from their now maggoty dead horse issues—OBAMACARE! IRS! BENGHAZI!—which will soon have to be buried for public health reasons.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 07/07/14 at 10:09 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaBqhatevwrElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Friday, June 27, 2014

I Do Not Like This Mr Cruz

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Looks like impeachment is the GOP’s meme du jour.  Earlier this week we had Speaker Boehner teeing up his Impeachment Lite suit [details TBD] and yesterday Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) dusted off his hurdy-gurdy and took it out for a spin in an encore performance of his widely-ignored Impeach Eric Holder street show.

Hard to tell if it’s professional jealousy or just plain cussedness but Cruz has called for Holder to either resign or be impeached on numerous occasions during his brief but gaudy tenure in the US Senate.

Cruz certainly didn’t disappoint while introducing his most recent Impeach Holder resolution:

When an attorney general refuses to enforce the law, when an attorney general mocks the rule of law, when an attorney general corrupts the Department of Justice by conducting a nakedly partisan investigation to cover up political wrongdoing, that conduct by any reasonable measure constitutes high crimes and misdemeanors.

Sounds a little like an audition for Brother Love’s Travelling Salvation Show, eh?

However, this was the Senate, which is happy to give credit for showmanship but, nevertheless, still requires unanimous consent to move forward with such a resolution.

Sen. Ron Wyden (D-OR), the chairman of the Financial Services Committee, refused, calling Cruz’s call for impeachment a “waste of taxpayers’ money” citing that:

. . . besides the three other probes being conducted by congressional committees, he and the top Republican on the finance committee, Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UH), were nearly done with their own bipartisan investigation into the matter.

Wyden also questioned the need for a special prosecutor when, after multiple investigations over 13 months, there is no evidence that any crime was committed.

Wyden added:

Many of us can remember special prosecutors abusing their power, spending millions of dollars of taxpayer money and going on for years and years without concluding their investigations.  Too often, special prosecutors have turned into a lawyer’s full employment program. They ought to be reserved for where there is evidence of criminal wrongdoing inside the government.

Something tells me that Ted Cruz won’t be particularly moved by that argument since he had no qualms about shutting down the government to the tune of $24 billion.

So.  Let’s see where we stand here—no criminal evidence and no victims, as Mr Todd recently pointed out, for the rest of us who have been shrieking this for a year, thank you very much:

Posted by Bette Noir on 06/27/14 at 09:27 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '16NuttersTeabaggery

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Impeachment Lite:  More Drama, Less Binding

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What to do, what to do?  Four more months until the mid-term rapture . . . we already said we won’t be legislating,  Benghaz-IRS-Gate is getting old . . . ???  Must be time for IMPEACHMENT!!  Yep, that’s the ticket!

Apparently the untimely ouster of Rep. Cantor (R-VA) has breathed new life into the Speaker’s career and put a spring in his shuffle.  Suddenly there’s still time for carpe diem-ish legacy-making gambits of historical proportions, moves that will etch the name “Boehner” into American History books.  At least the ones in Texas . . .

And so it is that Speaker Boehner, with George Will whispering sweet nothings about becoming the “legislature’s vindicator” in his ear, is preparing to go down as “the empty suit who files an empty suit” in the ever perspicacious words of Mr. Pierce.

Michael Steel spox-splains it to us:

The President has a clear record of ignoring the American people’s elected representatives and exceeding his constitutional authority, which has dangerous implications for both our system of government and our economy,  The House has passed legislation to address this, but it has gone nowhere in the Democratic-controlled Senate, so we are examining other options.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 06/26/14 at 10:37 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

It’s All Over But The Cryin’ in Mississippi

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Is there anything quite as pathetic as the bleating of a dirty trickster who falls prey to a dirty trick?  It’s all over but the cryin’ in Mississippi but it may be some time before the cryin’ ends.

Despite the fact that TEA Party Chris McDaniel failed to win his party’s primary, outright, and was forced into a run-off election, he was very certain that he had incumbent Sen. Thad Cochran (R-MISS) beat.  His defeat last night in the runoff caught McDaniel flat-footed and, in the grand old tradition of sore losers everywhere, he refused to concede the race.

McDaniel is now telling Breitbart.com that he will challenge the results.  The charge? Un-Republicanism!:

McDaniel said Cochran’s decision to seek Democrats to vote for him in the Republican primary runoff was “un-Republican” which, to the best of my knowledge is not a legal term.  Yet.

Nevertheless, in his best talk-radio voice, McDaniel said:

In the most conservative state in the republic this happened and if it can happen here, it can happen anywhere—and that’s why we will never stop fighting.

As you know today, folks, there were literally dozens of irregularities reported all across this state. You know why. You read the stories. You’re familiar with the problems that we have. Now it’s our job to make sure that the sanctity of the vote is upheld. Before this race ends, we have to be absolutely certain that the Republican primary was won by Republican voters. We will stand with courage, we will stand with judgment, we will stand with integrity. This is our fight conservatives. This is necessary. We are not prone to surrender, we Mississippians. A strong and sturdy people we are, a brave people we are, a people that can still lead the conservative revival in this country. We will lead the resurgence. That begins right here in Mississippi.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 06/25/14 at 12:18 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Cooter Just Might Have Done Us a Solid

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One of the things that I love the most about blogging [writing and reading] is the freedom that bloggers have to think outside of the box and fully engage with The Weird.

And, so it is that, while professional journalists and pundits, who are paid in real cash and expected to produce relatively rational analysis, wrestle with the odd conundrum of Eric Cantor’s primary defeat, last night, they are bound to overlook one of the more likely causes because it doesn’t fit their paradigm.

Let’s just take a look at the facts going in to this race:

Eric Cantor was the second most powerful Republican in the US House of Representatives.  He has won re-election every time, since 2001, mostly by hefty margins—last time around it was 80%-20%.

Eric Cantor raised $5 million for his campaign as compared to his opponent’s $122,000 “war chest.”  No surprises there.

Going into primary election day all polls - the good, the bad and the ugly—had Cantor well ahead of his opponent.

Congressional primary elections do not swamp the polls.  No long lines.  However, this time around, for a “gimme” of an election, some 30% more voters showed up over the last mid-term primary in VA07. [app. 65K this time to 44K last time.]

Cantor’s virtually unknown TEA Party opponent inexplicably won by carrying bluer precincts.

Trying to make sense of this very odd—so odd it’s historic—election result has every political reporter and pundit in the land twisting themselves into a pretzel trying to explain it all:

Was Cantor too RINO? was he too much of an insider/conniver?  Did immigration sink him? Was his campaign’s late flurry of negative TV ads that created name recognition and sympathy for his opponent a fatal tactical error?  Was he a secret Obamabot?

Was he too Jewish?

Or was it much simpler than that?  Was it? could it be? Just Cooter?

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Posted by Bette Noir on 06/11/14 at 10:08 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Sunday, June 08, 2014

Majority of Americans Support Reparative Therapy for Texans

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While most of us were trying to absorb the eery links between “Benghazi” and “Bergdahl,” last week, Texas rounded up its Republican delegates and sent them to Fort Worth to convene and redraft the state party platform. Few will be surprised to learn that Texas has one of the weirdest state Republican platforms in the country.

It is forty —count ‘em, FORTY— pages of Right wing free association that feels like the product of a bad night of MadLibs and way too much Lone Star Lite.  I’d say that the Texas platform smacks of teenage manifesto but that can’t be quite right because the Texas Young Republicans have declared it totally suckumental.

Way to court that youth vote, GOP!

Anyone with the stomach is welcome to jump right in for themselves, but here are a few highlights from my perspective . . .

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Posted by Bette Noir on 06/08/14 at 01:53 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '14Election '16NuttersTeabaggery

Saturday, May 24, 2014

House Orders Pentagon To Forget All That Science Stuff And Buy The World Some Coke Instead

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Think Progress reports:

Earlier this month with the release of the National Climate Assessment, 300 leading climate scientists and experts told Americans in no uncertain terms that time is running out to confront the dangerous impacts of climate change.

This week, 16 military experts agreed, telling Americans in a report that climate change is already threatening national security and the economy. The CNA Corporation Military Advisory Board authored the report, titled “National Security and the Accelerating Risks of Climate Change.”

The House of Representatives met that news with a collective raspberry and ordered the Pentagon to fuhgeddabout using any of their funding to address climate change related national security risks, via a party-line passed amendment to this year’s Defense Department budget.

The amendment reads:

None of the funds authorized to be appropriated or otherwise made available by this Act may be used to implement the U.S. Global Change Research Program National Climate Assessment, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change’s Fifth Assessment Report, the United Nation’s Agenda 21 sustainable development plan, or the May 2013 Technical Update of the Social Cost of Carbon for Regulatory Impact Analysis Under Executive Order.

Take that Obama, you and your Marxist Executive Orders and Agenda 21 New World Order. 

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Posted by Bette Noir on 05/24/14 at 08:51 AM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Slip-Sliding Away

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For better or worse Operation American Spring has come and gone without effecting a peaceful overthrow of the US government.  OAS was six months in the planning, had a website, a forum, and a retired US soldier—Col. Harry Riley—at the helm, who was apparently quite impressed with the efficacy of the Arab Spring approach to governmental reform.

Col. Riley was inspired to take up the OAS banner because:

When Barack Obama became the White House occupant we saw the Constitution being destroyed and ignored at nearly the speed of light. We believe that our liberty and our freedom and our constitutional nation started on the downhill at something that we just couldn’t believe. We looked over and we said, we’ve been fighting for our nation for over 230 years and we have children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren that are coming after us, and at the rate that Obama is taking us, we are going to be down into a socialist-fascist-communist-Marxist dictatorial, tyrannical system at the end of his administration if we don’t do something now, right now, to turn this around.

The usual racist/not racist American crackpot solution in search of a problem.  Nevertheless, Col. Harry was confident that 10 to 30 million Americans see things his way, and would drop everything to show up at the White House or the Bundy Ranch [whichever was closest] to perp-walk Obama and a laundry list of administration officials to Gitmo, then reboot America.  The Colonel felt that either Ted Cruz or Allen West would be suitable replacements for the president.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 05/18/14 at 12:23 PM
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Thursday, May 15, 2014

Great Right Dope

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After a brief hiatus Marco Rubio must be feeling presidential again, so to demonstrate his mettle, he cannonballed into the shallow end which turned out to be over his head.  Fortunately, he had his “abortion hypocrisy” swimmies on and eventually bobbed to the surface, albeit gasping and spluttering.

Evidently the Senator never got the “Yes, Virginia, climate change is real” memo, so there he was, Sunday, on ABC’s This Week, letting his climate change denier flag fly:

I do not believe that human activity is causing these dramatic changes to our climate the way these scientists are portraying it.

Our climate is always changing.  And what they have chosen to do is take a handful of decades of research and say that this is now evidence of a longer-term trend that’s directly and almost solely attributable to manmade activities.

Ah, the temerity of “these scientists” and their “handful of decades of research.” PAH!  Don’t they read the Bible?  God already told us how he’s the boss of climate and besides, he promised no more floods.

Suddenly “I’m not a scientist, man” is pretty expert at evaluating the credibility of scientific studies.  Perhaps he’s taken the last few months of self-imposed obscurity, following his last public flub, to study up on science.

Or, maybe not.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 05/15/14 at 11:02 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '16NuttersTeabaggery

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Ivory Tower To Echo Chamber.  Do You Read Me, Echo Chamber?

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Ben Sasse will almost certainly be heading to the United States Senate in January, 2015.  Yesterday Sasse managed to out-TEA Party his TEA Party opponent, Shane Osborn, as well as banker-flavored conservative Sid Dinsdale.  And, since Nebraska is about as red as it gets? game over.

Now that Sasse doesn’t have to woo anyone he’s free to be “just Ben” which is pretty damn awesome by most standards.  Sasse has a large collection of academic degrees from BS through PhD. from the likes of Harvard, Oxford and Yale.  His PhD dissertation won multiple prizes for best dissertation of the year.

He’s been in and out of policy consulting and staff jobs in DC as well as academic positions at the University of Texas at Austin and Harvard.

Sasse served as counselor to the secretary at the US Department of Health and Human Services for a year, during which he advised the Secretary on a broad spectrum of health policy issues, from affordable healthcare access to food safety and security.

And in July 2007, Sasse was nominated by President George W. Bush to serve as “the principal advisor to the Secretary of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services on policy development” as assistant secretary for planning and evaluation at the US Department of Health and Human Services.

Sasse advised private equity clients and health care investors in his spare time and became a fellow at the University of Texas LBJ School of Public Affairs’ Center for Politics and Governance.

He is currently the president of Midland University in Nebraska.

Oh! and did I mention that he’s 42 years old?

Too bad, eh.  Because now that he’s broken into the upper echelons of the Republican Party he’s going to be forced to check his big brain at the door.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 05/14/14 at 02:13 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Thursday, May 08, 2014

Release The KRAKEN!!

What’s it been now? almost a week since Speaker Boehner decided to Release the Kraken! and, already, I suspect he’s black and blue from excessive #facepalm-ing.

Meanwhile, Judge Gawdy (R-SC) is powdering his wig and spreading himself thin in a pre-game talkathon about what a regular - nay, totally unremarkable and unassuming - hero he is, who just happens to be sitting on a shock-and-awe-ful pile of bullpuckey evidence that has eluded his well-meaning but bumbling colleagues who just don’t fully grasp how the criminal mind operates.

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Yep.  A week into it and this latest chapter of Benghazi!Benghazi!BENGHAZI!! is about to take a serious turn toward the absurd, as only conservatives know how to turn things.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 05/08/14 at 09:27 AM
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Tuesday, May 06, 2014

“Out, damned spot! Out, I say!”

Has a sitting governor ever taken it upon herself to absolve her constituents of murder most foul? Maybe, but I don’t recall it.

Here’s a remarkable statement by Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin (R-Edrum) in a column published yesterday that addressed the recent botched execution:

“Justice was served. The people of Oklahoma do not have blood on their hands.”

If you say so, Lady MacBeth. Fucking sociopath. I wish I thought the horror and absurdity of this would make a damn bit of difference.

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 05/06/14 at 10:48 AM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryRelijun

Monday, April 28, 2014

Rupture, Not Rapture

Via Tengrain, we have the tale of Alex Jones calling out Glenn Beck for insufficiently supporting deadbeat rancher Cliven Bundy.  Jones believes that Beck is working for the Kenyan Usurper, setting up the right-wing loons up for the jackbooted thuggery of the latte-sippin’ lefties:

“They’re positioning him as a Judas goat to lead the liberty movement. It all just clicked. He is actually Benedict Arnold, he actually works for Obama. And I’m sorry I have to say that. He really does!”

Poor Beck, he steals Alex Jones’ schtick, then backpedals in one instance, and now he’s Benedict Arnold.  On his end, perhaps because he sees the coming backlash and his getting drummed out of the loonbertarian fringe, Beck is seeking the refuge of religious whackaloonery... because religion is the last good refuge for an utter scoundrel.  Addressing the commencement of Liberty University’s graduating class, he’s gone full-on “Rapture Ready” fundagelical millennialist, claiming that God is coming back “to settle scores”.

One could chalk up Glenn’s latest “Road to Dumbasscus” moment as an example of Jerusalem syndrome, but I have a more cynical view.  I suspect that Beck sees the coming Rupture among the far-righties, so he’s going to switch gears and talk about the Rapture to reinvent himself as a religious figure, having failed as a political pundit.  Unluckily for him, Glenn is a couple of horsemen short of an apocalypse.

Cross-posted at my eponymous blog.

Posted by Big Bad Bald Bastard on 04/28/14 at 11:05 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryRelijun

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