Saturday, August 28, 2010

The United $tate$ of GlennBecki$tan - A photojournal

Hopefully the mouseovers are intact.

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 08/28/10 at 02:39 PM

Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Apart From That, Mr. Lincoln, How Did You Like The Play?

lincoln says thumbs down!
The Kwittin’ Image swooped in for a cameo, the Weeping Hamster thrilled to his own voice while conferring Wingnut Decorations upon some Rotary Club presidents, and there were more black entertainment acts than the Stax 50th anniversary concert. The Special Ops Warriors Foundation gets a boatload of money in exchange for providing cover for the Cuddly Savonarola, and everybody’s happy! Isn’t that what counts?

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 08/28/10 at 12:27 PM

Categories: MessylaneousPoliticsBedwettersNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Saturday Morning Music: Gil Scott-Heron’s “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised”

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Posted by YAFB on 08/28/10 at 07:01 AM

Friday, August 27, 2010

“Real life sucks losers dry…”


I guess Alaska just wasn’t big enough for the two of them.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/27/10 at 12:21 PM

Categories: MoviesPoliticsElection '10NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Mel Gibson headlines Women’s Equality Day celebration


SENECA FALLS, NEW YORK – AUGUST 26, 2010: Citing inspiration from Glenn Beck’s upcoming rally to take back the civil rights movement for white people, actor Mel Gibson marked the passage of the Nineteenth Amendment yesterday in the bucolic town where the women’s suffrage movement began.

Joined onstage by singer Chris Brown and auto body repairman Joey Buttafuoco, Gibson praised the passage of the legislation that “gave bitches the right to vote.” His later remarks seemed to suggest Gibson was confused about women’s enfranchisement, since he cited their votes in People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” contest rather than participation in official elections. 

The crowd, largely clad in American flag-themed clothing and resting in frayed lawn chairs, waved signs depicting President Obama in a variety of costumes, including a witch doctor, a Nazi and a Red Army general.

Gibson, when asked about his feminist credentials, directed a reporter to a woman he called “Sister Inviolatta,” who was actually NRO editor Kathryn Jean Lopez. Ms. Lopez said Gibson’s depiction of the “Mother of our Lord” in torture-porn film The Passion of the Christ qualified Gibson to lead the women’s rights movement.

Lopez impatiently dismissed queries about Gibson’s domestic violence issues, insisting that his portrayal of the Virgin Mary in the film did more for feminism than “Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Pocohantas, Lucretia Mott, Lucy Stone, Sacagawea, Susan B. Anthony and Princess Diana all rolled into one with sprinkles on top.”

The event ended on a sour note, however, when a planned address by OJ Simpson could not be conducted due to technical difficulties with the jail conference center video link-up.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/27/10 at 06:17 AM

Categories: MoviesPoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Snowflake Snooki vs. Hottie McAwesome

Palin disses Scott Brown—and the citizens of Massachusetts—on Fox News:

Peopled by sheeple, the Bay State simply lacks the tundric values of independence, intelligence, etc., and is therefore not part of Real America.

So much for the starburst dream-team of Palin-Brown in 2012. I’m pretty sure this precludes a 50-state sweep too.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/26/10 at 12:13 PM

Categories: NewsPoliticsElection '10NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryOur Stupid MediaYouTubidity

They haz a meme

Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin will speak at the Lincoln Memorial this Saturday on the anniversary of the date when Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his “I Have a Dream” speech at that very same spot.

It’s totally a coincidence that Beck scheduled his “Restoring Honor” rally on that date and at that place. He’s just trying to reclaim the civil rights movement. Black people don’t own MLK, you know.

Now, MLK’s “I Have a Dream” speech is perhaps the most inspiring, soaring rhetoric ever produced in the history of this country. That makes it a tough act to follow, even 47 years later.

Are Beck and Palin up to the challenge? Let’s compare and contrast:

I dunno. Somehow I think MLK will still kinda own that venue—even after Saturday.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/26/10 at 08:30 AM

Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryOur Stupid MediaYouTubidity

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Baked Alaska and Floriduh

I think Tbogg is onto something here. Citing Palin’s hand-picked protégé Joe Miller’s relentless pimping of his rugged outdoorsy-ness, moose-bloodlust, etc., Tbogg says:

We get it. You’re an outdoorsman and you’re all macho and shit with your manscaped beard, but, seriously, after the last couple of years of listening to that babbling snowbilly grifter natter on about your Alabama-with-a-snowpack hellstate, we’re kinda of Alaska’d out about the Great White North and we wish you guys would just take our tax dollars and shut the fuck up about your bullshit last frontier self-sufficiency.

Yep.  And yet, I pity the Alaskans not named Joe W. Miller and Sarah Palin, for they are being stereotyped by the Snowflake Snooki Moose-Killin’, Salmon-Slayin’ Minstrel Show.

I know what it’s like to have your state thrust onto the national political stage because of the antics of a handful of dumbasses. No one who lived in Florida during the 2000 election recount will ever forget the shame of “Floriduh”—the officials staring at hanging chads in slack-jawed amazement, the Condo Commandos accidentally voting for Pat Buchanan, etc.

I feel your pain, Alaska.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/25/10 at 12:50 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '08Election '10NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryYouTubidity

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Palin Tweets Last-Minute Support for Her AK, AZ and FL Primary Picks

Or maybe not. But whatever it is that’s keeping her away from her Blackberry today, I’m sure she hopes that all good Americans will go to the polls and vote for the Teabagger/RINO/Sociopath of Sarah’s choice.

John McCain, Joe Miller, Paul Gosar, Allen West and Pam Bondi (Did I miss anyone?) are all in play today. I’ll be monitoring the AK returns, since I have to be up all night anyway.

For sheer krazy-on-krazy action, Quayle vs. Gorman is worth watching, even though Sarah—surprisingly—doesn’t have a horse in that nutjob-rich race. 

Should be a fun night.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/24/10 at 04:41 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

The Biblical Foundations of America, Such As They Are

I get tired of hearing that the Declaration of Independence and the US Constitution are rooted in Judeo-Christian law, and Betty’s post on Erick al-Amriki convinced me to finally publish my Quick-Scan Bible-America Concordance:

1 And God spoke all these words:

2 “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

3 “You shall have no other gods before [a] me.

4 “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments.

7 “You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

8 “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. 11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

13 “You shall not murder.

14 “You shall not commit adultery.

15 “You shall not steal.

16 “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

Yep, that’s it—America and God share prohibitions against Murder, Theft and Perjury, and all the rest is a) safety tips for stress-free nomadic living and b) God demanding Evian water, BLUE-ONLY M&Ms and 10% of T-shirt sales.

Suck it, Sarah. America isn’t based on Biblical Law; Biblical Law is based on cave paintings. Anyway, Hammurabi did it better—and way ahead of the Jews.

Thanks, Babylon. America is ever in your debt.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/24/10 at 12:20 PM

Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryWar In Error

Monday, August 23, 2010

Teabagger Fallback Election Strategery: Blackmail the Winner

This is rich. Palin’s hand-picked henchrube Clint Didier got blown out of the recent Washington State All-Party Top-Two Primary for US Senate candidates. The winners were sitting Dem Senator Patty Murray and GOP suit mannequin and two-time gubernatorial loser Dino Rossi. Footballer-turned-farmer Didier came in a distant third with 13% of the vote. 

In a genteel, We-the-People-Have-Spoken universe, Didier might have congratulated his fellow Republican and thrown his support behind Rossi’s uphill challenge to the Liberal incumbent. But, as Sarah herself has shown, defeat at the polls isn’t the end—it merely means you’re over the target and taking flack. Real winners know that crushing defeat is a back-handed compliment, and a smile is just a frown turned upside-down.

Instead, Didier called a press conference to announce that he would refuse to endorse Rossi unless Rossi capitulated to the following (insane) demands:

1) Introduce the “Sanctity of Life” Act that U.S. Rep. Ron Paul introduced in the House. The bill would allow local jurisdictions to pass anti-abortion laws without interference from federal courts.

2) Sign a pledge that he won’t support any additional taxes or increases in new taxes.

3) Pledge to vote no on any bill that increases federal spending.

read the whole post »

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/23/10 at 08:40 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Satya Knows Because Fox News Told Him So

Manning the barricades at the (not)Ground Zero Rally, was an Indian gentleman wearing a Gandhi T-shirt. I found him arguing heatedly with a couple of young men, also from the great subcontinent, who, after this encounter, turned to me and said, “I hope you’re putting this up on YouTube.” Your servant, guys!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 08/23/10 at 11:46 AM

Categories: New York CityManhattanNewsPoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryRelijunYouTubidity

Sarah Palin Impersonates Elected Official in Campaign Robocall

Hi, this is Governor Sarah Palin

Yeah, and I’m David Caruso, star of NYPD Blue.

Sarah quits the gig, but flashes the title when she’s endorsing her pals or parking in the handicap space at Target. Nice deal.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/23/10 at 10:32 AM

Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

A Lovely Day For An Auto-Da-Fé: The Not the Ground Zero Rally Against Not the Ground Zero Mosque

say, MoHAMed's star isn't yellow!
Bottom line: This was your Joe-Basic Tea Party rally, minus most of the Gadsden flags and plus EXTRA anger and different costumery.  It was, shall we say, intimate; there were fewer people, it seemed, than the last Tea Party rally in Manhattan, and that one didn’t fill up the space allotted it, either.  The rain was only sporadic until after Pamela Gellar’s Mosquetastic Hyster-0-Rama exploitation fantasy concluded, so the unimpressive crowd can’t be blamed on that.

read the whole post »

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 08/23/10 at 03:04 AM

Categories: ImagesNew York CityManhattanNewsPoliticsBedwettersNuttersTeabaggeryRelijun

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Tomorrow’s shorters, today

After seeing ReaLAMEricans driven to a frenzy by the combination of brown skin and an Under Armour beanie, it occurred to me it’s going to be a busy week for the leading lice of the fReichtard movement.

They will of course say something about this footage. And if you think it will be “Oh my God, I’m so ashamed that I ever had anything to do with these people,” you have not been paying attention.

So, in the interest of saving time, here are 13 pre-shorters of the shit the fRighties will fling over the next few days.

They are both 100% the product of my imagination and 100% accurate:

1. The fact that this gentleman denied he’s a Muslim when no one asked if he was a Muslim proves he’s a Muslim.

2. Saaay, what’s a brown guy doing in New York City, anyway?

3. It’s a shame the Muslims insist on inciting ReaLAMEricans to attack random brown people who probably don’t deserve it.

4. Once again the Democrat-controlled LameStreamMedia seeks to stifle our rights by not editing out the bits of this tape we don’t want people to see.

5. I didn’t watch the film but based on what a friend told me about it liberals are once again making a big deal about nothing.

6. It’s obvious the one or two people who appear to be misbehaving, and the man they appear to be harassing are all liberal moles.

7. Dear Brown People: We’re angry and upset so you’ll have to stay indoors until we calm down. P.S. We’re not racist.

8. I felt sorry for the man until he used the “F” word. He’s lucky he wasn’t killed by those brave patriots.

9. What did he expect? He’s brown and wearing a weird hat.

10. Check his counter tops!!

11. For all the protesters knew the guy was lying when he said he isn’t Muslim, so it was their duty to go after him.

12. Once upon a time the Democratic party was full of racists so the stuff that happens in this tape doesn’t count.

13. LOL, libtards are sooooo sensitive. They should sack up like us manly studs on the right. P.S. Stop the Ground 0 911 Mosque, it hurts my feewings.1 Mosque, it hurts my feewings.

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 08/22/10 at 08:48 PM

Categories: New York CityPoliticsBedwettersNuttersTeabaggery

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