Teabaggery

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Talkative, Antler-Wielding Brawny Paper Towel Man Spotted in Alaskan Outback

AK Senate Candidate Joe Miller. A man. A shirt. And a shitload of antlers.

H/T Snowflake Snooki’s Facebook page.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/05/10 at 09:36 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersTeabaggery

Good God, Sarah! You’ve Got to Get on Top of That Buzz!

Sarah appeared on Hannity live (or at least upright) last night. It wasn’t an early-AM recorded interview, since she discussed the Prop 8 ruling.

Nonetheless, there seemed to be some sort of epic Clash of the Neurotransmitters going on behind her eyeballs, especially during the parts where she’s listening to Sean’s questions, e.g.:

♦ Drowsiness
♦ Dry-mouth
♦ Bobble-head
♦ Erratic breathing
♦ Incomprehensible speed-raps
♦ Spontaneous “Stan Laurel” faces

Is it just me, or is anyone else seeing it? For all I know, she’s just naturally drowning in Serotonin, but this is the first time I’ve watched her that I detected a Classic Side-Effect Swarm like Mom used to get when she was watching Matlock.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/05/10 at 07:36 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Basil Marceaux Will Move the Capital to Chattanooga, Plant Vegitation and Make the Flag Fly Right!

Every time I think I’m out, he pulls me back in again.

For God’s sake, let this man DO HIS ISSUES and MAKE YOU MORE FREER THAN YOU WERE YESTERDAY. And have a nice day!

OH, AND FUCK THE GOLD FRINGED FLAG, OOOO-RAHHHHHHH!

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/03/10 at 07:42 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersTeabaggery

I Want Some of What Sharron Angle’s On!

Following her trippy appearance at the Conservative Right-on-Line gathering in Las Vegas, Sharron Angle went on Fox News to explain to Carl Cameron, in a giddy and giggly manner, just what her campaign’s philosophy was with respect to the press.

In case you aren’t sure you heard what you thought you heard, here’s a transcript courtesy of Fox:

Angle:  “We needed to have the press be our friend.”
Cameron:  “Wait a minute. Hold on a second. To be your friend…?”
Angle:  “Well, truly–”
Cameron:  “That sounds naive.”
Angle:  “Well, no. We wanted them to ask the questions we want to answer so that they report the news the way we want it to be reported.”
Cameron:  [speechless, laughs]

She then goes on to plug her website so people will give her money.  Pointing out that she loves to give the website address so people can give her money.

I don’t know, everyone pretty much assumes that candidates and journalists are complicit in spinning the news, maybe Sharron’s really a genius to just come right out and say it.  Or maybe she’s an idiot.  Guess we’ll have the answer to that one in November.

Posted by marindenver on 08/03/10 at 04:13 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

Acronymony

image

There are certainly more consequential annoyances, but for some reason, contrived acronyms irritate the crap outta me. Take the USA PATRIOT Act (please!). Most people these days refer to it simply as “the Patriot Act,” but it was originally conceived as a tortured acronym: “Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act.”

Who could vote against a bill so named? Well, those who claim to value civil liberties could have. But most didn’t since that might have conflicted with an even more fundamental goal: reelection.

And speaking of reelection, GOP crazy lady Michele Bachmann has come up with a contrived acronym of her own with which to christen her political money-raking outfit:

The chairwoman of the House Tea Party Caucus filed paperwork Friday to form a political action committee called “Many Individual Conservatives Helping Elect Leaders Everywhere.” The acronym is MICHELEPAC.

The committee hasn’t reported raising any money yet.

Bachmann is one of the top fundraisers in Congress. She’s collected more than $4.5 million this election cycle as she seeks a third term in Minnesota’s 6th District.

Forming a PAC is apparently the political equivalent of a Mama Grizzly rearing up on her hind legs to defend her cubs, the cubs being the political equivalent of a campaign war chest. So far as I can tell, Bachmann’s mentor, Sarah Palin, didn’t bother to come up with an acronym for her PAC, though “Simpletons Against Reason and Healthcare” might have done nicely.

As for Bachmann (whose mother, unlike First Lady Michelle Obama’s mother, did not realize that “Michelle” generally has two L’s), her acronym is even more tortured than the PATRIOT Act abomination. I think her PAC should be called “Morons in Congress Howling Evil Lies Eternally.” It’s no more elegant, but 100% more truthful.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/03/10 at 10:08 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Life Imitates Art: Basil Marceaux and Tommy Shanks

Uncanny.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/03/10 at 08:51 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersTeabaggery

Monday, August 02, 2010

Under the wigs, a formless void…

image

Even I never imagined the teatards were this fucking dumb:

“Tea party” activists drawn to Williamsburg and its portrayal of Founding Fathers

WILLIAMSBURG—The original Tea Party may have been in Boston, but some modern-day “tea party” activists are finding a powerful narrative this summer at a different historic landmark: Colonial Williamsburg.

Amid the history buffs and parents with young children wandering along the crushed shell paths of Virginia’s restored colonial city, some noticeably angrier and more politically minded tourists can often be found.

[snip]

“They all should come here and listen,” said Bob Rohrbacher, a retired plumber from Floral Park, N.Y., who opposes President Obama and was inspired to visit Williamsburg while watching Glenn Beck on Fox News. “They’ve forgotten about America.”

Well, if Beck has to inspire the drooling halfwits who watch his show to take action, it’s better that they should visit Colonial Williamsburg than load an arsenal into their mother’s SUV to go kill a bunch of liberals.

The executives who oversee Williamsburg said they have noticed the influx of tea partiers, and have also noted a rise in the number of guests who ply the costumed actors for advice about how to rebel against 21st-century politicians. (The actors do their best to provide 18th-century answers.)

[snip]

Sometimes, the activists appear surprised when the Founding Fathers don’t always provide the “give ‘em hell” response they seem to be looking for.

I bet these morons corner Goofy for dog training tips when they go to Disney World.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/02/10 at 03:57 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersTeabaggery

Sharron Angle: Most. Stoned. Vegas. Lounge Act. Ever.

Here follows Starfleet Yeoman Sharron Angle’s speech at the RightOnline Conservative “counter-convention” to the recent Netroots gathering in Las Vegas.

Vegas has a long history of “dry” performers who pretended to be working “under the influence.” But Angle honestly looks like she flew in direct from the Day Room at the Haldol Institute for Advanced Psychosis-Management.

No need to watch the whole thing. 20 seconds or so will be all the corrective required to nuke the perception that Harry Reid is “dull” and “unassertive.”

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/02/10 at 01:11 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersTeabaggery

Sarah Palin: Vile, Potty-Mouthed Priestess of Ignorance

“She walks. She talks. She reads off her hand and says ‘cojones.’”

Yeah, everybody else has covered this, and I was going to let it slide as just more of the same uninterrupted, content-free dial-tone from America’s Back-Seat Driver.

But the truth is, every time Palin uplinks to Fox, posts on Facebook or tweets the universe from her Arctic Fortress of Solipsism, she cheapens the nation’s political discourse. From “Death Panels” to “Lamestream Media” to her bigoted, brain-dead “refudiate” gaffe and her description of the Journolist participants as “yahoos,” she shames the Founders with her intellectual shallowness, while eliciting shouts of “You GO, girl!” from the driftwood barflies at my neighborhood watering-hole.

The only “Grizzly Mama” I ever met was a sideshow attraction at the Trumbull County Fair. And if this incoherent, gabbling teratism is what passes for Conservative leadership in 2010, we should throw a striped tent up over America’s midsection, and pass legislation guaranteeing free cotton candy and funnel cake for all registered Republicans.

Please forgive the rant. I just wanted to get this headline in the Google-stream. Beside, I found book-borers in my library over the weekend—a perfect metaphor for Palin—but it was just too fucking gross to build a post around.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/02/10 at 12:38 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Laughingstock! Uni-Tea Speakers Outnumber Minori-Tea Listeners at Philly Blove-In

Dammit, Keep The Cameras On Me!
Here is mercifully short Part IV of Big Blightblurt’s monologue from yesterday’s grand gathering of peaceful Tea Partiers of every creed and color gaggle of Foxwatching paleopensioners.

There’s a half-hour of this stuff; I brought you the shortest clip, which goes conspiracy/Journolist/smear Mary Frances Berry, Big Gubmint’s newest out-of-contextual experiment in its drive to maintain the brand as go-to site for slandering black women.

Note the lack of interest in much larger crowd across the street, though comparison is difficult since the Bigs are not so much into showing their multicultural audience. At all. Talking Points Memo has a picture which pretty much echoes yesterday’s. Wee The Peepull run the gamut from A to B!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 08/01/10 at 10:07 AM
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Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsNuttersTeabaggery

Sudden, Brief, Unnamed Illness Spares Bachmann from Wrath of Missouri Tea Party Groups

According to the Minneapolis Star-Tribune:

U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann canceled a scheduled campaign appearance in St. Louis on Saturday for GOP Senate candidate Roy Blunt after being hospitalized with an undisclosed illness.

The 54-year-old Minnesota Republican, who is serving her second term in Congress and running for a third, apparently was admitted to a Washington-area hospital Friday with what her office described as a “sudden illness.” She missed several votes on the Gulf oil spill just before the House adjourned for its August recess.

Fortunately, all appears to be well now, with Bachmann’s Web site posting an announcement that she is “currently resting…and on her way to a full and quick recovery.” A spokesman for her office said she planned to return to Minnesota on Saturday.

Quite coincidentally, it seems, missing her Missouri appearance with Rep. Blunt could be just what the doctored ordered…politically, anyway. Blunt is running against Tea Party favorite Chuck Purgason, a Missouri state senator. Bachmann’s official endorsement of Blunt—and the news of her plans to campaign with him this weekend—prompted 28 in-state Tea Party organizations to issue a joint message indicating that they were “shocked” by Bachmann’s actions, and suggesting that she had been “grossly misled” by Blunt:

Tea Party participants believe the spending in Washington has to STOP. Roy Blunt voted for TARP and Cash for Clunkers. For Michele Bachmann to come to Missouri and give the impression that all the Missouri Tea Parties support Roy Blunt is an abomination of everything we have been standing up for.

In addition to his support from various Tea Party groups, Purgason has been endorsed by celebrity non-entity Joe “the Plumber” Wurzelbacher.

Although Bachmann could not physically attend the St. Louis event, she was able to speak to Blunt’s campaign volunteers via Skype.

We wish Rep. Bachmann a speedy return to health…and a rapid rehabilitation of her “We the People” street-cred.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/01/10 at 01:36 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersTeabaggery

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Steele cuts Breitbart

Sorry music fans. Commenter majii brings sad news: You’ll have to wait a while for the Steele Breitbart rendition of “Why Can’t We be Friends?”

The RNC has postponed a fundraiser next month in California that was to feature party chairman Michael Steele alongside Andrew Breitbart.

No one is saying why. But, it would be irresponsible not to speculate and we’re very responsible around here:

1. Steele threatened to release the 8x10 color glossies of high-level Repugs cavorting with domesticated ruminants when he found out about the gig.

Or.

2. Breitbart is holding out for a duet with acceptable brown person and fellow victim Clarence Thomas.

Or.

3. There’s a limit to what the citizens of Beverly Hills will waste their cash on and dinner with these schmucks is well past the limit.

Post your speculations and wild conspiracy theories below. The person who provides the best one will win a Dream Date with Levi Johnston and/or Bristol Palin, as they’re both apparently single again.

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 07/31/10 at 09:00 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersTeabaggery

Look, There’s One! Uni-Tea Tweetpic Proves It!

Tea Partier Captures Rainbow Diversity!

The dazzling mosaic of colors! The enthusiasm! The pageantry! I really love the Palio, and hope to visit Italy someday and see it. Meantime, here’s this sad, sad first look, courtesy of a genuine We The Peeeepull, at Breitbart’s sad, sad agglomeration of overheated activists, hopes shriveled like a pitted prune in the sun. What’s Breitbart got to say on that thing of his? Or any of those things of his? Well, no Uni-Tea pictures are posted. Odd that a journalist of Breitbart’s caliber wouldn’t be able to throw up a few, just as a tease.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 07/31/10 at 02:32 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersTeabaggery

Friday, July 30, 2010

NAACP = The Negro Assault Against Clarence’s Person

That spavined attention whore who runs Big BowelMovement is still huffing glue (via BJ):

I’d have a long discussion with her, and I’d tell her that I’m not one of these people in this country that thinks racism doesn’t exist. And that I’m not one of these people who says that she hasn’t suffered from racism. And that the scars of her racism aren’t warranted. But I’d also tell her that my passion in life and my political trajectory from left to right was born from watching the Clarence Thomas hearings. I didn’t understand how he NAACP sat on its hands while privileged white gentlemen hammered him mercilessly and humiliated him and the media and the NAACP allowed for it to happen.

(You’ll have to forgive Andy for getting Anita Hill confused with Clarence Thomas. Not only has epoxy snorting worked a number on his synapses, but they all ... Well, you know.)

And Clarence isn’t the only victim! M. Lightfart has also been cut and he’s bleeding ... But he hasn’t noticed because someone let him get his hands on a big can of contact cement:

As difficult as it probably was for her, it’s been difficult for me as well, especially to hear her hurl an accusation of racism at me, when my motivation is absolutely pure and is driven by a desire for this country to move beyond its horrid racist past.

To a wonderful racist future!

If this goat’s fud winds up in court Orly Taitz will have to up her game to hang on to the Crazy Courtroom Critter crown.

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 07/30/10 at 11:19 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersTeabaggery

Teabaggers are *not* racist!

Progs/libs/Dems, please stop polluting our political discourse with your incessant and unfair R-bombs! Just watch this video and you’ll see that the teabaggers care about America and the negroes!

BTW, I found this at TeamSarah.org:

Team Sarah -- TeamSarah.org
(click image to enlarge)

America by heart, indeed.

RELATED: What Thers said.

Posted by Kevin K. on 07/30/10 at 03:36 PM
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