Sunday, August 22, 2010
Tomorrow’s shorters, today
After seeing ReaLAMEricans driven to a frenzy by the combination of brown skin and an Under Armour beanie, it occurred to me it’s going to be a busy week for the leading lice of the fReichtard movement.
They will of course say something about this footage. And if you think it will be “Oh my God, I’m so ashamed that I ever had anything to do with these people,” you have not been paying attention.
So, in the interest of saving time, here are 13 pre-shorters of the shit the fRighties will fling over the next few days.
They are both 100% the product of my imagination and 100% accurate:
1. The fact that this gentleman denied he’s a Muslim when no one asked if he was a Muslim proves he’s a Muslim.
2. Saaay, what’s a brown guy doing in New York City, anyway?
3. It’s a shame the Muslims insist on inciting ReaLAMEricans to attack random brown people who probably don’t deserve it.
4. Once again the Democrat-controlled LameStreamMedia seeks to stifle our rights by not editing out the bits of this tape we don’t want people to see.
5. I didn’t watch the film but based on what a friend told me about it liberals are once again making a big deal about nothing.
6. It’s obvious the one or two people who appear to be misbehaving, and the man they appear to be harassing are all liberal moles.
7. Dear Brown People: We’re angry and upset so you’ll have to stay indoors until we calm down. P.S. We’re not racist.
8. I felt sorry for the man until he used the “F” word. He’s lucky he wasn’t killed by those brave patriots.
9. What did he expect? He’s brown and wearing a weird hat.
10. Check his counter tops!!
11. For all the protesters knew the guy was lying when he said he isn’t Muslim, so it was their duty to go after him.
12. Once upon a time the Democratic party was full of racists so the stuff that happens in this tape doesn’t count.
13. LOL, libtards are sooooo sensitive. They should sack up like us manly studs on the right. P.S. Stop the Ground 0 911 Mosque, it hurts my feewings.1 Mosque, it hurts my feewings.
Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 08/22/10 at 08:48 PM
Alaska’s Joe Miller: Riding the Tea Party Waive
From Joe Miller’s US Senate campaign site, an invitation to quit, forswear, dispense with, renounce, forgo, relinquish or forfeit campaign signage in the parking lot at Sears:
If you can’t get up that early, or if you have any leftover signs from the morning event, you can surrender your political placards to Joe outside the Sleep Gallery at 4:30.
UPDATE 12:20PM: These events have been removed from Joe’s Google schedule, although that does not necessarily mean that Rumproast is all-powerful.
Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/22/10 at 09:06 AM
Saturday, August 21, 2010
America’s Most Entertaining Psycho Grudge: Simpson/Flanders or Palin/Murkowski?
Homer Simpson hates his relentlessly pre-Rapturous neighbor Ned Flanders so much that even when an accident reduced Homer’s brain capacity to a single functioning cell, it was able to spell out the words “Kill Flanders” on an ICU monitor.
That’s where Sarah Palin seems to be at with her multi-generational vendetta against Alaska’s Republican Murkowski dynasty. In 2002, newly-elected Alaska Governor Frank Murkowski snubbed the ambitious Wasilla mayor by appointing his own daughter Lisa to fill the state’s empty US Senate seat. As a political sop, he appointed Palin to the Alaska Oil and Gas Commission, a position from which she would eventually resign. In 2006, the ascendant Palin defeated a by-then-disgraced Murkowski in the Republican gubernatorial primary, subsequently winning and then resigning the Governorship in what is now perceived as her classic pattern of Preemptive Auto-Impeachment.
Two years earlier, in 2004, Palin had declined to run against the younger Murkowski for the first full term of her appointed Senate seat, citing family reasons—i.e., not wanting her family to watch her get shucked and sheaved by a powerful Father/Daughter political combine. After Palin’s unsuccessful 2008 run for Miss Veepoverse, some of her supporters hoped she would use the mystical Cloak of Unearned Importance bequeathed to her by an aging, befuddled John McCain to win and resign Lisa Murkowski’s office in 2010. Instead, she backed plaid-shirted Tea Party fave Joe Miller—because what’s the point of running for office when you control the Universe from a bear-skin-draped Zamboni in your Arctic Fortress of Nebbitude?
Cut to the chase: Most polls had Murkowski with a comfortable lead of 30 points or so over Miller, until Tea Party Express announced an unpublished mystery poll indicating that the gap had astonishingly closed to about 10 points in a matter of weeks. Cue Sarah’s Friday Facebook emission asking for $30,000 in last-minute contributions to Miller’s campaign, coupled with a same-day Tea Party Express mass-email from Todd Palin calling for a $150,000 “money-bomb” for Miller in advance of the Tuesday primary.
read the whole post »
Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/21/10 at 01:34 PM
Friday, August 20, 2010
Bitter Slurpee clingers
Pantload at NRO:
Maybe it’s me, but there’s just something about Obama’s new metaphor that strikes me as unhelpful to his condescension problem.
“We put on our boots and walked into the ditch — it’s muddy and hot and dusty and bugs everywhere — and we’re pushing,” Mr. Obama said of the efforts of the White House and its Democratic partners in Congress.
“And we’re slipping and sliding and sweating, and the other side, the Republicans, they’re standing there with their Slurpees watching us,” Mr. Obama said, building up to the punch line, which he has been refining (minus the Slurpees) for several months. “Finally we get this car to level ground. Finally we’re ready to move forward, go down that road once again to American prosperity, and what happens? They want the keys back.”
“Well, you can’t have the keys back,” he said to cheers in Milwaukee on Monday. “You don’t know how to drive. You got us into the ditch.”
It’s definitely you, Pantload.
Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/20/10 at 10:34 AM
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Palin on Schlessinger: Winners Never Quit, and Quitters Never Stop Making Excuses for Quitting
Sarah defends “Dr.” Laura, just long enough to rationalize her own chickenshit flight from elected office:
I, and obviously many others, have been “shackled” too by people who play games with false accusations, threats, frivolous lawsuits, misreporting, etc., in an effort to silence those with whom they disagree. That’s why I tend to defend people who call it like they see it while others stop at nothing to shut them up. I learned this valuable lesson when the partisan obstructionists in my state tried to shackle, bankrupt, and destroy my family and supporters, and my record, with endless frivolous litigation when I returned from the Vice Presidential campaign trail. In order to shake off the shackles they wanted to paralyze us with, I handed the reins to another, much like Dr. Laura is doing, so that these obstructionists who hated a Commonsense Conservative agenda wouldn’t win. I didn’t retreat; I reloaded in order to fight for what is right on a fairer battlefield. So, more power to someone with good intentions who refuses to be shackled by their detractors when they are falsely accused of being racist.
“Shackles”? Really? Is Sarah angling for an Image Award, or a singing part in the big-screen remake of Roots?
[H/T Mrs. Polly for undisclosed mnemonic services]
Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/19/10 at 06:05 PM
Who will counter the cankle of divisive assholes?
The attempt to establish a Muslimfrei zone around Ground Zero isn’t about 9/11. The wingnut solicitude for “Dr.” Laura’s supposedly lost First Amendment rights isn’t about “Dr.” Laura’s right to repeat racial slurs on the radio.
Fox News’ relentless pimping of the New Black Panther Party non-story isn’t about voter intimidation. Arizona’s anti-immigration law isn’t about illegal immigration. Breitbart’s Shirley Sherrod smear wasn’t about “reverse racism.”
The persistent suggestions from multiple quarters on the right that President Obama isn’t a Christian or an American aren’t about his religion or nationality. And the Prop 8 campaign wasn’t about protecting straight marriage.
read the whole post »
Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/19/10 at 08:11 AM
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
David Harsanyi Doesn’t Get What The Conversation Is About
David Harsanyi, a syndicated columnist who writes for the Denver Post, starts his column today by asking the question “Is it bigoted to criticize religion?” and then proceeds to miss the point entirely.
There are those who continue to make the facile claim that any protest over Park51 is a display in un-American intolerance and contempt for the Constitution. This position treats criticism of faith — religious institutions and symbols included — as tantamount to “bigotry.”
Given that there remains overwhelming opposition to the ground zero mosque, this viewpoint would mean that 70 percent of Americans are impulsively hostile to freedom of religion and irrationally narrow-minded.
Do you see what you did there, David? First you set up the straw men by labeling criticism of the proposed Islamic community center “bigotry”, then you blithely referred to it as the “ground zero mosque” thus accepting the false premise that the argument is over a mosque being built on top of ground zero! Which it, um, isn’t and isn’t. But we’re now all ready to condemn the mean spiritedness that proclaims 70 percent of Americans are impulsively hostile to freedom of religion, irrationally narrow-minded and bigots to boot!
You then go on to compare the apple of the ginned up outrage over something that’s not what it’s being reported to be as *equivalent* to the oranges of community protests against Wal-Mart stores and a protest march by gays against the passing of Prop 8 that originated at a Mormon Temple in Westwood, CA.
And applying public pressure in an effort to shut down a project is as American as protesting the arrival of a new Wal-Mart. Religious institutions, as far as I can tell, are not exempted from these disputes.
In 2008, thousands of gay-rights activists protested the Mormon temple in Westwood, Calif., for its role in passing Proposition 8 — the ban on same-sex marriage. This grew into a national protest to undermine the influence of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — even though not every Mormon was involved.
Let’s start with the simple one. Wal-Mart, regardless of what its management may or may not believe, is not a church or a religion. Freedom to worship Wal-Mart is optional but not constitutionally protected. As a business enterprise it is subject to boycott by consumers who disagree with its labor policies and tendency to bulldoze existing small businesses into extinction. So far the company’s still around and still making profits. More power to it.
read the whole post »
Posted by marindenver on 08/18/10 at 06:06 PM
It’s Victory Mosquetastic! A Stroll Around My Hallowed ‘Hood , part II
We will never forget—what sells!
At the end of Part One, we were trembling at the brink of a discovery: down a side street, but a mere two shabbily picturesque city blocks away from the northern perimeter of the future 16 acre complex of memorials, waterfalls, museums, office buildings, retail shops, and restaurants currently still known as “Ground Zero.”
Look! There in the crepuscularity of this avenue of sorrow, the perfidious zealots have already declared their devotion to the One True Way by putting up a sign!!
read the whole post »
Posted by Mrs. Polly on 08/18/10 at 09:37 AM
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Over at Buckley’s Bughaus, K-Lo tags Fahrenheit 451 author Ray Bradbury as a teabagger:
Skedaddle, Midnight Cowboy! Something (conservatively) wicked this way comes!
But could the 90-year-old author be a few matches short of a book burning these days? Possibly:
“We should never have left there [the moon]. We should go to the moon and prepare a base to fire a rocket off to Mars and then go to Mars and colonize Mars. Then when we do that, we will live forever.”
“We have too many cellphones. We’ve got too many Internets. We have got to get rid of those machines. We have too many machines now.”
“I was approached three times during the last year by Internet companies wanting to put my books [on an electronic reading device]. I said to Yahoo, ‘Prick up your ears and go to hell.’”
The article didn’t say whether or not Mr. Bradbury ordered the reporter off his lawn.
[Note to my descendant: If I ever start babbling about “We the People” after you stash me at the raisin ranch, kindly smother me with a pillow, umkay? Thanks in advance.]
Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/17/10 at 11:17 AM
Nobody Expects The Wingnut Inquisition!
No, not prayer mats, not the hand-knotted prayer mats! Don’t you know that a prayer mat makes any building, no matter how large and filled with other things, a, a, a…..Victory Mosque?
World Nut Daily soberly reports on one bright light who doesn’t even like the idea of a room at Quantico being repainted (“at taxpayer expense!”) for Muslim Marines to pray in, lest it lead to Other Things:
...Jihad Watch director Robert Spencer said he wonders why the Marines do not seem concerned such facilities might to used to generate anti-American sympathies.
Yes, all those people who hate us for our freedom would be just hopping mad. How much better that we hate us for our freedom.
Posted by Mrs. Polly on 08/17/10 at 10:13 AM
Monday, August 16, 2010
It’s The Ground Zero Mosque! It’s The Ground Zero Mosque! A Stroll Around My Neighborhood, Part I
Aiieee! What’s that at Ground Zero? A MINARET? ALREADY??
No, no, the Mooslins haven’t moved in yet. But now that the Tundra Torquemadam has got her polar panties in a knot over the groundless rumor of the Ground! Zero! Mosque! I thought it time to actually show the hopelessly daft Grand Inquisitrix some irrefudiable features of my ‘hood, which she and her followers are honoring by trying to turn a generous swath of lower Manhattan into Joseph McCarthy’s Tribute Morgue.
Here we are, starting directly across from Ground Zero, praying without ceasing, as it is said that each time somebody licks all the way around a bonnet cone, an angel gets a brain-freeze.
read the whole post »
Posted by Mrs. Polly on 08/16/10 at 10:09 AM
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Obama Talks, Sarah Squawks: America’s Back-Seat Driver Can’t Let Go of the Hate
Well, this was inevitable. In her latest diurnal emission, Sarah shames the Framers with her trademark “It may be Constitutional, but it just ain’t right” re-imagining of America’s Founding Principles, as revised, amended, footnoted and circumscribed by T. Herman Zweibel, with a codicil by Glenn Beck—Legitimate Questions for the President:
Mr. President, should they or should they not build a mosque steps away from where radical Islamists killed 3000 people? Please tell us your position. We all know that they have the right to do it, but should they? And, no, this is not above your pay grade. If those who wish to build this Ground Zero mosque are sincerely interested in encouraging positive “cross-cultural engagement” and dialogue to show a moderate and tolerant face of Islam, then why haven’t they recognized that the decision to build a mosque at this particular location is doing just the opposite? Mr. President, why aren’t you encouraging the mosque developers to accept Governor Paterson’s generous offer of assistance in finding a new location for the mosque on state land if they move it away from Ground Zero? Why haven’t they jumped at this offer? Why are they apparently so set on building a mosque steps from what you have described, in agreement with me, as “hallowed ground”? I believe these are legitimate questions to ask.
Two can play that game, my little Nudnik of the North. So let’s consider some Legitimate Questions for Sarah Palin:
♦ Do you have a Plan for America, or are you content to snipe from the shadows with no responsibility for your actions?
♦ Since you believe tolerance, reconciliation and healing are Bad for America, are you embracing divisive, polarizing fear-mongering as an acceptable substitute?
♦ Do you intend to run for President in 2012, or simply continue to milk your supporters’ hopes that you’ll run in order to leverage lucrative Celebrity Speaking Gigs, Book Deals, TV Contracts and donations to your PAC?
♦ Should you decide to run for President, will Todd cancel his snow-machine team’s financial sponsorship by Venezuela’s Citgo petroleum group?
♦ Do you believe that running America would be a) more or b) less challenging than running your mouth?
Feel free to add your own Legitimate Questions in comments.
Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/14/10 at 06:32 PM
Your Weekend WingNut in a Nutshell
Meet Marg Baker, Teabaggy Candidate for Florida’s House District 48 (via the St. Pete Times):
“I was just a little girl in Miami, and they built camps for the people that snuck into the country because they were illegal,” Baker said. “They put them in the camps and they shipped them back. We can do that. We can do E-Verify. We must stop them.”
I know you’ll be SHOCKED to hear these remarks were made during a rally sponsored by Glenn Beck’s 9/12 project (apparently there’s YouTubes of her saying the same thing).
read the whole post »
Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 08/14/10 at 10:30 AM
“The writ of our Founders must endure”
President Obama reaffirms the values of tolerance and equality on which the USA was founded:
Recently, attention has been focused on the construction of mosques in certain communities - particularly in New York. Now, we must all recognize and respect the sensitivities surrounding the development of lower Manhattan. The 9/11 attacks were a deeply traumatic event for our country. The pain and suffering experienced by those who lost loved ones is unimaginable. So I understand the emotions that this issue engenders. Ground Zero is, indeed, hallowed ground.
But let me be clear: as a citizen, and as President, I believe that Muslims have the same right to practice their religion as anyone else in this country. That includes the right to build a place of worship and a community center on private property in lower Manhattan, in accordance with local laws and ordinances. This is America, and our commitment to religious freedom must be unshakeable. The principle that people of all faiths are welcome in this country, and will not be treated differently by their government, is essential to who we are. The writ of our Founders must endure.
The tea-hadists flip out:
Obama came out for the Islamic supremacist mosque at the hallowed ground of 911 attack. He has, in effect, sided with the Islamic jihadists.
Since most voters in America are against building a mosque at Ground Zero, it only figures then that our radical far left president would join the 20% who believe it’s a good idea.
Will Obama express US lingering pain& ask Muslims for tolerance by discouraging 9/11 mosque while he celebrates Islamic holy month tonight?
Mass murderers never have the right to prance and pose over the remains of their victims. If Barack Obama doesn’t understand that, he simply is not fit to be President, and is barely worthy of being called a citizen.
“President Obama is wrong. It is insensitive and uncaring for the Muslim community to build a mosque in the shadow of ground zero… Unfortunately the president caved into political correctness.”
Of the five hysterical reactions above, two are from “mainstream” GOP politicians. They are virtually indistinguishable from the nutty chorus of wingnut internet screechers.
Some people uphold the ideals of the Founders. And others dress up like them while pissing on the principles that set their experiment in government apart.
Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/14/10 at 08:09 AM