Teabaggery

Monday, February 22, 2010

Manchurian Mannequins

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Casual observers may believe Obama beat McCain because of things like effective organization, disgust with failed Republican policies, a VP candidate who wasn’t a booger-eating moron, etc. But the GOP poobahs know better: The party that transformed an addled, daddy-dependent, AWOL, prep-school cheerleader into Commander Codpiece understands the power of image.

Before McCain had even delivered his concession speech in 2008, the people who really run the GOP (hint: the money people, not the tea party yahoos, dittoheads, Paultards, etc.) identified the cause of the loss and were busily engaged in developing a new strategy.

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Posted by Betty Cracker on 02/22/10 at 08:36 AM
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Sunday, February 21, 2010

Teabaggers Turn Against Imaginary Cartoon Hero: Is Sarah Palin Next?

Captain America stands for a lot of things, but he’s never been a bigoted patriotic chauvinist—except during a brief appearance in the 1950s by a paranoid, Commie-hating pseudo-Cap who adopted the flag-themed bunny-suit after the original Winghead retired rather than name names under severe grilling by McCarthy’s HUAC.

For some people, of course, 70 years of dick-slapping Nazis, Bond-grade terrorists and Frenchmen isn’t enough of a purity test. And when Cap and his AA superhero pal The Falcon recently observed a gathering of anti-government protesters with alarm, the Teabaggers, predictably, jumped the shark. Keith Olbermann addresses the controversy here.

Marvel Comics, owned by America-hating media conglomerate Disney, has already agreed to alter the offending graphic panel in future re-issues of the comic book story—a concession which, ironically, has rendered the original printing of the mag a hot, investment-grade collectible.

Despite Marvel’s decidedly un-heroic backdown, however, the Star-Spangled Super-Soldier has been forever pegged by the Tea Party crowd as a brainwashed Obot who wields his adamantium shield against helpless Paulites in wheelchairs. 


Image © Dale at Out of Order. Dale’s on the wrong team, but his art is first-rate Leftist-quality work.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 02/21/10 at 02:35 PM
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Categories: ImagesKnee SlappersPoliticsBarack ObamaBedwettersNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryPolisnark

Cap’n Crunch Wows Nutrition-Conscious, Gun-Owning CPAC Revelers

Beloved breakfast mascot Cap’n Crunch, pictured above at a December film premiere with long-time life-partner The Great Gazoo, made a surprise appearance at this weekend’s CPAC Convention in Washington, DC, urging attendees to “stay crispy, not soggy, as you soak in the fetid sour-milk bath of relentless Marxist usurpation of the Second Amendment.”

Earlier this month, Crunch shocked attendees of the Tea Party Nation gathering in Nashville when he claimed conjugal rights to married Facebook celebrity Sarah Palin and threatened to shoot the late John Murtha.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 02/21/10 at 09:15 AM
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Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryPolisnark

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Breaking!  OMFG!!  PROOF POSITIVE that Michelle Obama is a SOSHULIST!11!!11!

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Thank the lordy for those ultra observant tea baggers hanging out in Washington right now!  While taking a tour of the White House Rob from Say Anything Blog spied THIS compelling evidence of a SOSHULIST presence in the White House, that presence being none other than the FIRST LADY!!!

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Egads!  Practically a whole Marxist library.  Placed there by (according to the tour guide) none other than Michelle Obama.  WHO KNEW!!

Except that, by later update Rob tells us that he has been informed the books were placed in the library by, um, er, Jackie Kennedy.  Damn!  She was a soshulist too?

Posted by marindenver on 02/18/10 at 06:41 PM
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Categories: MessylaneousPoliticsBarack ObamaBedwettersNuttersTeabaggery

Marco Rubio probably thinks Obama has too many vowels in his name

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Here’s teabagger pin-up dude Marco Rubio (watch out, Scott Brown!) making a joke about Obama’s silly use of teleprompters…with a pair teleprompters right in front of his mug. Jesus. This absurd hack, who counts Jim DeMint as a political hero and patron, will probably be our next senator down here in Florida.

Speaking of Jim “Lurch” DeMint, the feelings are oh-so mutual:

“I was standing backstage with tears,” Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.) said following Rubio on stage. “Reminding myself what we have with Marco. What a treasure.”

DeMint at least has the good grace to look like the B-grade wingnut villain he is. Imagine a young, handsome DeMint with cross-ethnic appeal, a pleasing delivery style and 27 electoral votes in a critical swing state. That’s Rubio.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 02/18/10 at 12:04 PM
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Categories: ImagesPoliticsBarack ObamaBedwettersElection '10NuttersTeabaggery

J. D. Hayworth: It’s Not About the Birth Certificate. It’s About the Scourge of Identity Theft.

Failed politician, FoxNews operative and lying sack of shit J. D. Hayworth just can’t stop making John McCain look electable.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 02/18/10 at 08:49 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '08St. McSameElection '10NuttersTeabaggeryYouTubidity

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Too Late, “Comrade Show-Me”!

Ha-ha-ha! Foolish citizens of degenerate, Wii-playing capitalist American city of Blue Springs, Missouri are only just now having been rudely eye-opened to unstoppingly impending doomness of MANCHURIAN USURPER COUP-RULE over ALL of unwitting, TV-suckled United States HOPEY-DUPE NATION OF PATSIES.

Here is pathetic numb realization of SUPERPOWER DREAMS DESTRUCTED as reported in terror-biting small-town electronic news blog. Also, same story in vidoegrafik mediums by local fun-named district Obama Disinformation Officer Heather Staggers. 

“President Obama, tear down that billboard!” Ha-ha! Be enjoying your Communist new masters, so-called country of Lincoln! Paybacks are a female dog, yes?

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 02/17/10 at 04:23 PM
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CPAC Caters to Wingnut Whack Jobs

This is no fair [via Markos]:

Attendees at a conservative conference in town this week will have the opportunity to whack a pinata of Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.). Conservative Political Action Conference “CPAC” begins Thursday here in D.C. and will feature a party Friday evening where guests will have the opportunity to whack a Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) pinata.

Why is it no fair, you ask? Well, liberals couldn’t offer up, say, Michele Bachmann, Virginia Foxx, or Jean Schmidt piñatas because once you cracked them open ... nothing would fall out.

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/17/10 at 01:53 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersTeabaggerySkull Hampers

From Teabags to Gasbags: “Mount Vernon Statement” Captures Paralytic Dullness of Conservatism

The Sharon Statement energized a generation of Commie-fearin’, Buckley-blessed wingnut big-domes. The “Contract With America” kept a Republican Congress in power long after the Contract itself had been stuffed into a paper-only recycling bag, and set out by the curb. The “Project for the New American Century” rescued Bill Kristol’s career as a malevolent, 5th-Dimensional imp and established the philosophical foundations of bloodthirsty exceptionalism that led to Dick Cheney’s “Operation TOTAL AMERICA FAIL.”

With antecedents like that, you’d expect that the much-hyped “CPAC Manifesto” would be traced by a vengeful angelic finger in Words of Power that literally burst into flames on the page. But you’d be in for a disappointment, as the actual Mount Vernon Statement, released this morning, reads like the truck pick-up manifest for a “Save the Founding Fathers” community scrap-collection drive. 

I mean, who needs Ambien when you have “stand up and shrug” rhetoric like this?:

The conservatism of the Constitution limits government’s powers but ensures that government performs its proper job effectively. It refines popular will through the filter of representation. It provides checks and balances through the several branches of government and a federal republic.

A Constitutional conservatism unites all conservatives through the natural fusion provided by American principles. It reminds economic conservatives that morality is essential to limited government, social conservatives that unlimited government is a threat to moral self-government, and national security conservatives that energetic but responsible government is the key to America’s safety and leadership role in the world. 

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Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 02/17/10 at 12:27 PM
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Categories: Knee SlappersNewsPoliticsBedwettersElection '10NuttersTeabaggeryPoliblogsPolisnark

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Rebranding?

I think Steve M. at No More Mister Nice Blog is onto something:

First, Andrew Breitbart attacks World Net Daily’s Joseph Farah for being an Obama birther.

Then, a few days later, Glenn Beck denounces Texas gubernatorial candidate Debra Medina, a tea party favorite, for being a 9/11 truther.

And now the highly influential wingnut blog RedState has banned all birthers and truthers.

All this happened either at or just after the Nashville convention at which organizers sought to rebrand the tea party movement as a safe, domesticated GOP/Fox News/Sarah Palin operation ... just in time for the buildup to the 2010 midterms.

Am I crazy to think that all this didn’t just happen spontaneously?

No Steve, you’re not crazy. A commenter points out that Not-Joe the Not-Plumber has suddenly disavowed birfers too. The timing sure is interesting.

The GOP loses nothing by this move—in the 80s and 90s, they never came right out and said Jerry Falwell was running the GOP, but every Republican politician was obligated to make the pilgrimage to Lynchburg, Virginia to kiss his ass. Even McCain eventually did so, though with typically rotten timing.

Maybe GOP candidates will have to schlep out to Orange County to pay similar homage to Orly Taitz prior to future elections. Stranger things have happened.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 02/14/10 at 02:07 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaBedwettersElection '10NuttersTeabaggeryYouTubidity

Friday, February 12, 2010

ATTN: Teabaggers: GOP won’t respect you in the morning

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In fact, they don’t even respect you now. From Teaparty.org:

Tea Party members are being eyed as just another piece of voting meat. Tea Party members are targeted for filling the rank and file of minion laden political operations, most of which are lead [sic] by failed Republican hacks.

And by “failed Republican hacks,” he means Sarah Palin:

Sarah Palin is not dense or erroneous in her view of the Tea Party, just the opposite. She represents a growing insider’s attack to the heart of the Tea Party. Very much like a wolf in sheep’s clothing entering in at the gate as an ally, but for all intents and purposes there to seize and capture, not only one or two stray sheep, but the whole flock!

Instead of the Republican Party endeavoring to return to what made them great, it appears they are trying to take the low road, by attempting to commandeer someone else’s dream, the American dream forged by blood sweat and tears. Is the Faith of the Tea Party being replaced by folly and our Patriotism being replaced by Party-ism?

So does this mean the teabaggers—this splinter group, at least—really are grassroots populists with whom liberals can make common cause? Uh, probably not:

What are the Tea Party Non-negotiable core beliefs?

Illegal Aliens are illegal.
Pro-Domestic Employment is indispensable.
Stronger Military is essential.
Gun ownership is sacred.
Government must be downsized.
National Budget must be balanced.
Deficit Spending will end.
Bail-out and Stimulus Plans are illegal.
Reduce Personal Income Taxes a must.
Reduce Business Income Taxes is mandatory.
Intrusive Government Stopped.
English only is required.
Traditional Family Values are encouraged.
Common Sense Constitutional Conservative Self-Governance is our mode of operation.

….and Yes, we are a Christian Nation!

Long live the purity wars!

[H/T: TPM]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 02/12/10 at 01:21 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Don’t Ask, Don’t Shill: FoxNews Gets Totally Melvined on Tea Party Poll Question

Last week, FoxNews.com asked the question: What Do You Think Tea Party Movement Is About? Next time, they might want to leave out the most obvious answer, in order to avoid aesthetically unpleasant response-clustering.

Scientific? No. Hilarious? You betcha!.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 02/12/10 at 12:18 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

New Left Media covers the Tea Party Convention

New Left Media strikes again…

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/12/10 at 09:17 AM
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Thursday, February 11, 2010

David Writes a Love Letter

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With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, David Broder is skewering Cupid with his love for Sarah Palin in an op-ed at the Washington Post.  Looks like someone else is seeing “little starbursts”.

And it’s so sad. 

Blessed with an enthusiastic audience of conservative activists, Palin used the Tea Party gathering and coverage on the cable networks to display the full repertoire she possesses, touching on national security, economics, fiscal and social policy, and every other area where she could draw a contrast with Barack Obama and point up what Republicans see as vulnerabilities in Washington.

Her invocation of “conservative principles and common-sense solutions” was perfectly conventional. What stood out in the eyes of TV-watching pols of both parties was the skill with which she drew a self-portrait that fit not just the wishes of the immediate audience but the mood of a significant slice of the broader electorate.

Tea baggers = conservative activists?  I was thinking pig-ignorant, racist assholes, myself.  Or maybe just the ones that cheered Tom Tancredo’s earlier speech.  Or Joseph Farah’s re-hashing of birfer memes.

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Posted by marindenver on 02/11/10 at 08:00 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaBedwettersNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

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