The GOP power acquisition and propaganda machine is a fearsome opponent. It owns a worldwide media empire. It has enjoyed remarkable electoral success by pumping out race-baiting bilge and generating pseudo-science and artfully worded lies to convince low-info voters to vote against their own interests and preserve and expand already lavish advantages for plutocrats.
It’s underwritten by fat cats who are capable of pooping out billion-dollar bales of cash to support the cause without experiencing the tiniest impact on their unimaginably privileged, Sun King-like lifestyles. So it’s tempting to view that operation as infallible and to imagine that its strategy is crafted by evil geniuses against whom it may be impossible to prevail. And then you see something like this:
Hahaha! The Koch brothers flew the blogger formerly known as “Hindrocket” in to their confab to provide intellectual fodder! The blogger perhaps most famous for his tremulous reverence for the unappreciated genius of George W. Bush!
It must be very strange to be President Bush. A man of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius, he can’t get anyone to notice. He is like a great painter or musician who is ahead of his time, and who unveils one masterpiece after another to a reception that, when not bored, is hostile.
It’s like riding out onto the plain of Minas Tirith to face the Nazgûl and confronting a cranky, mange-ridden ferret instead. They got nothing. Well, they got the aforementioned bales of cash and global media empire. But aside from that, they got nothing.
This is Daisy, who is, as you can see, blessed with great physical beauty. She’s even got matching beauty moles. She is somewhat vain in consequence. I tell both my dogs that they’re smart girls, good girls, beautiful girls. But with Daisy, it is definitely the latter that resonates. She takes in the sun like a glamorous 50s-era movie star in San Tropez, even though she is only a dog in Florida.
The sun is one thing we’ve still got going for us in Florida. Otherwise, things are pretty shitty. We’ve got double-digit unemployment. Nearly half of our houses are underwater in the mortgage sense and will be among the first literally underwater if nothing is done about climate change. And nothing will be done because Republicans and Fox News have successfully demagogued that issue to their mouth-breathing audience, some of whom will eventually require snorkels to continue their mouth-breathing.
Grifterzilla celebrated her birthday by reprising the greatest hits from her limited repertoire to ring down the curtain on CPAC 2012.
CNN/Big Journalism’s Dana “Drop Trou” Loesch is trying desperately to get her minions to cover ass over her and her husband’s antics over the past couple of days
And dazed conference-goers felt the cold chill of the evening air as they emerged from their three-day refuge from reality, having voted in the Washington Times/CPAC straw poll for their preferred presidential candidate—Surprise! Mitt Romney—to be greeted by the results of today’s caucuses.
In the absence of that sweet meteor of death, Romney’s been awarded the win of the unbelievably arcane Maine caucuses with 39% of the vote versus Paul’s 36%, with 17% of the state’s precincts that will caucus later in the month being told that they can vote for whoever they want, it just won’t be counted. Not that the results are binding anyway. I think it would be easier to explain the laws of cricket to an American than make sense of that hot mess.
I’d call that a wrap, though there are plenty of details that we haven’t touched on here—no shortage of ink both real and virtual having been spilt elsewhere, not least by those on our estimable blogroll—and no doubt much more pleasurable and edifying things going on in the world that are more worthy of attention.
If you want to talk about them, here’s a chance, otherwise, enjoy your Saturday night and thank the FSM that you’re not a Republican. Unless you are, in which case tough luck, and how’s that hopey changey thing working out for ya?
The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops is upping the tantrum level over the requirement to include birth control coverage in health insurance plans for Catholic hospitals and other institutions to truly epic proportions. And, like any toddler lying on its back and screaming, they are now changing the rules of engagement. They don’t want the requirement removed just for organizations run by religious institutions - they don’t want any employers to be required to cover contraceptive services in their plans.
Sez his royal poobah, General Counsel Anthony Picarello “If I quit this job and opened a Taco Bell, I’d be covered by the mandate”. Um. Yes. You would. You would indeed. Because you, as an employer of people who may not share your particular religious superstitions, would not be allowed to dictate their health care choices to them. Because, well, why should you be, anyway? Perhaps unknown to you, the times of feudal control over one’s serfs appear to be behind us now.
Even more annoying than the irksome background noise level of heel thumping and high pitched wailing is the insistence by certain pundits that Obama owes it to Catholics to allow them to force their restrictive beliefs regarding accessibility to fundamental health care on the backs of their relatively powerless employees. (See: This Person and Dionne, E.J.) After all Catholics helped Obama to get health care reform passed in the first place and here he is underbussening them! No doubt as they always knew he would. Because, of course, health care reform had no other redeeming features that could conceivably make their lives better and make it worthwhile to get it passed.
No, in fact, the whole point of the thing was, apparently, to provide a path to allow Obama to begin routinely decapitating the faithful. OK, OK, that’s Santorum speaking and we all know he’s a fruitcake’s fruitcake when it comes to issues of icky contraception and, you know, sex between married couples, but still!
Obama has apparently said he’s not backing down on this one and I sincerely hope the recent shitstorm over the Komen Foundation’s ill considered decision to decide they were cutting funding from Planned Parenthood will reinforce this idea on his part and the part of his administration. (We were the winners!! It feels good to be the winner!!)
In the meantime I very much hope this silly saber rattling will die down fairly soon. But with the economy improving, Obama’s poll results rising, Osama bin Laden still dead and a clown posse of presidential candidates still roaming the lands, the Rethugs haven’t got much else right now. Boo hoo.
Cardenas said that the ACU is now offering cards for those that want to be “card-carrying conservatives.” This is an exciting way to support the ACU and also more overtly support conservatism.
Attendees barely had time to finish fanning themselves with their cards and rearranging their vestments before the morning’s heartthrobs Jim DeMint and Marco Rubio took the stage. Meanwhile, backstage, conservative bloggers are preoccupied with the serious business of taking photos of each other engaging in the traditional pre-mating snuggles and flirting.
If you’re a real sucker for punishment, you can watch a livestream here (which, in typical enterprising fashion, times out periodically and pesters you to sign up to the ACU, though a refresh easily dodges such untoward advances), but I’m sure we’ll dip in over the next two days if something suitably outrageous or snarkworthy’s on the menu. A PDF of the full schedule is here, a summary of what the ACU considers the “highlights” here.
That’s one for every state Mittens lost yesterday, or rather, very early today, to the little man in the tight-fitting conservatism. Congratulations, Rick Santorum, you’re this week’s NotMitt! You have now won more contests than the putative front-runner. Oh, he’ll still get the nomination in the end, with his deep pocketed PAC and their Hortastic negative advertising genius (and now you can probably expect a little more of that genius to be expended on you, you Washington insider you). But thanks are in order, Rick. You have not only won three states; you’ve underlined what the Democraps already know about the Republican electorate: Mitt Romney? Do.Not.Want.
Can you hardly contain yourself? TPM is showing, at 9:17 EST, New NotMitt Fave Rick Santorum ahead in Missouri and Minnesota. Could it be his night? Do we love our Cornhole?
Brian Beutler at TPM wonders if the GOP plans to follow Paul Ryan down the kill-Medicare rabbit hole again in an election year and concludes that yes, they do:
Why on earth would Republicans put the whole party back on the line? Particularly after a year of serial brinkmanship and overreach that has dragged their popularity down to record lows?
The answers speak as much to the hubris of this GOP majority as it does to the fact that the party’s in thrall to a movement that demands unyielding commitment to a platform of reducing taxes on high-income earners and rolling back popular, though expensive, federal support programs.
Ryan & Co. plan to coat the poison pill with saccharine-flavored provisions (inexplicably) contributed by Democratic Senator Ron Wyden, which were soundly rejected by Wyden’s fellow Democrats when the “bipartisan” agreement was announced a couple of months ago.
However, the sham “compromise” backed by Wyden puts the GOP in the unenviable position of having to explain subtleties to two different audiences with opposing agendas: It doesn’t accomplish the utter annihilation of Medicare the tea party extremists want since it contains a “public option” (no, really) that purports to preserve the program in its original form rather than leaving seniors entirely to the tender mercies of the private insurance industry.
But it does tie the cost of the “public option” version of Medicare to market permutations, which would almost certainly drive costs up for seniors, many of whom are Republicans. The devil is in the details, but it’s hard to see how this could actually save money without reducing benefits or raising costs.
As Beutler notes, Democrats are happy to have this debate again, especially in an election year. But should they be? Does Wyden’s participation provide a sufficient fig leaf for the “zombie-eyed granny starver”? I’m thinking not, though surely outfits like PolitiHack will do their utmost to muddy the waters.
As a lead-in to this weekend’s major sporting fixture, the GOP have laid on a little entertainment in Nevada.
Who will win the thing isn’t an issue, the main interest of the evening lying in seeing whether Ron Paul can upset Newt even more than normal by pipping him for second place, and how far down the can Santorum will go.
One minor cliffhanger that might have enlivened proceedings was headed off earlier in the day when it was revealed that Newt was not going to repeat his self-parodic bravura performance from January 31 in Florida by going postal at his concession speech, but would instead hold a press conference to enable him to berate and insult the media to their yellow faces. A ripple ran round various outlets that he might be going to announce the suspension of his campaign. Alas—or YAY!—depending on your perspective, that prospect now seems a non-starter.
Hard are the privations suffered by those in the fight to stem the Brown Tide threatening to overflow this great land of ours. Here we see Governor Jan “Bulwark” Brewer, putting the funds she raised to fight illegal immigration to good use, investigating appalling rumors of theivery and beheadings at the Waldorf-Astoria in Orlando, Florida.
Before her recent triumphal tour as an advocate for chutzpah-awareness, Governor Brewer’s JAN-PAC had amassed a grand 22K, three quarters of which is still safely banked. The rest went for the above fact-finding, um, night—$625, and the remainder, (pardon the expression, Governor) to buying the Governor’s own book, Breakfast For Scorpions, sorry, Scorpions For Breakfast.
Well, it wasn’t failure to launch, because Newt’s launched everything he can. Watch and wait with us, if you can bear the suspense. As usual, TPM has the goods, with their delightful interactive map.
Ooooh, I’m just on tenterhooks, aren’t you?
Update: Know what’s fun? Comparing the results with Betty’s map. So far, two might-as-well-be-Alabama counties are going for Newt, as per her prediction.
Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer has issues, of that there is no doubt. The fact that they go beyond the political will come as no surprise. Let’s compare the billet doux she presented to President Obama during that infamous Tantrum on the Tarmac last week (the text of Brewer’s letter is in bold below), in the light of the appeal now published on her PAC’s website (in italics), and no doubt landing with a needy squelch in inboxes around AZ.
Welcome to Arizona!
When I met President Obama this week, I really wasn’t pointing at him. I was telling him, “You have ONE more year!” The President needs to be reminded that he is the President of the FEDERAL REPUBLIC and not a KING lording over state governors.
You’ve arrived in a state at the forefront of America’s recovery—and her future. We were at the brink. We were at the bottom of the list in job creation. Today, we have a balanced budget and we’re in the top 10 for job creation.
I’m proud of that hard-won recovery—the result of many tough decisions, courage and perseverance.
While I wanted to talk to him about jobs, our economy and visiting our border, President Obama criticized my book, Scorpions for Breakfast, and then walked away from me.
My hope is while you are here you will have a chance to see our tremendous results first hand.
We both love this great country, but we fundamentally disagree on how to best make America grow & prosper once again. I’d love an opportunity to share with you how we’ve been able to turn Arizona around with hard choices that turned out to be the right ones.
We deserve results over rhetoric, ...
And, of course, my offer to visit the border—and buy lunch—still stands!
... but this is a President who had the audacity to sue me and Arizona in my efforts to protect our country from illegal immigration!
With respect,
Donate today to Jan PAC and help me stop President Obama in 2012 and others like him who are taking our country down the wrong path.
Via the Atlantic, What Half-Been is running into a Wall of Opposition from unhappy Teahadist supporters seemingly unmoved by her ghosted scrivelings, right on her own own FB page? The disrespect! And look how she was treated on upstart FOX pundint Jeanine Pirro’s show:
Now no fingerpointing! It’s not as if the Governor is the first Arizona Tealoon to turn a tidy profit on her untidy relationship with the truth. So the Governor has managed to massage her encounter with the President into sales: “Scorpions for Breakfast,” her hilarious political fabulation-a-clef, has zoomed on Amazon from 343,222 to 7. (Thanks TPM) Shall we deny an author the fruits of the sweat of her tongue?
But now to the news I know Roastafarians have been on tenterhooks waiting for: the winner of the Kaption This Kaptious Kook Contest and the valuable, one-of-a-kind Jan Brewer Souvenir Hospitality Bottle Cap:
U.S. Rep. Allen West of Florida rivals even Rep. Joe Walsh, R-Deadbeat Dad, in personal and political assholery. Having been booted out of the Army for a harsh interrogation incident in Iraq, West went on to win a House seat during the 2010 election.
Since then, he has consistently hit every wingnut pleasure center, comparing Democrats to Joseph Goebbels, styling himself a modern-day Harriet Tubman sent to lead African Americans off the liberal plantation and accusing President Obama of playing the race card while speculating that a prospective Democratic opponent “likes running against black guys.” Here’s Rep. West, R-Plantation (honest to god!), last night telling President Obama, Nancy Smash, et al, to “get the hell out of the United States of America.”
The teahadists eat that sort of thing up with a spoon, naturally. But the Florida GOP, which has a supermajority in the state legislature and is headed up by GOP Governor Rick “Voldemort” Scott, has undertaken a project to redraw the state’s districts—after being compelled to do so by votes on a ballot initiative in 2010. And it looks like Mr. West might be headed south.
Who would rob the nation of such a fiery demagogue? Wingnuts can’t pin this one on the Dems, who are pretty much powerless in Florida. But Colonel Mustard has a clue:
One of the rising stars of the Tea Party is about to be sacrificed by the Republican establishment in Florida, led by someone spinning for Mitt Romney.
Don’t say you weren’t warned.
It was Will Weatherford in the Conservatory with a wrench! Well, the truth is, West was in some trouble with voters anyway. I don’t live in his district, but from what I understand, voting in a certified loon like West was something of an aberration for that area, and it’s possible they find West’s constant grandstanding a bit embarrassing.
Also, the state GOP had to be prepared to shed a few seats while still stacking the deck in their own favor. So, tough luck, West. The extent to which this develops into a Tea Party-Establishment flap is just warm, rich, savory gravy.
