Teabaggery

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

image

So.  Here we are, eleven months away from Mid-Term-a-Palooza and the Rebranding of the GOP advances apace.  Or not.  The Great Rebranding is reminding me a lot of Dr. Seuss, lately [as you can see] because it is such an extraordinary feat of wishful thinking as in Oh the Thinks You Can Think in which “Dr. Seuss explores the imagination and encourages the reader to push their creative mind to limitless heights.”

Back in January, when the Republican National Committee delivered its post-mortem, it was surprisingly on-target in regard to what went wrong in 2012.  Those who touted it seemed a little overambitious in believing that all of the necessary changes, or even a few, could be made before the next national election, nevertheless the prescriptions were “directionally-correct,” as they say in PowerPoint.

Unfortunately, by about April, the Ladies and Gentlemen of the Echo Chamber decided that, for the most part, they like their old brand just fine and they’re convinced they can keep on selling it with a little updated PR, a few new faces, perhaps, and some new code words.  Maybe just adopt a deliberately retro look . . .

Now, in December, it’s pretty clear that Republicans just can’t/won’t change . . . here are just a few select examples of how the GOP plans to capture the hearts and minds of Americans and impress voters with their leadership skills without twitching a whisker . . .

read the whole post »

Posted by Bette Noir on 12/10/13 at 01:34 PM
Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaElection '14Election '16NuttersTeabaggery

Sunday, December 08, 2013

Rand Paul Channels Jack Kemp

image

Now that the hubbub over Paul-agiarism has died down, Rand Paul appears to be weighing a presidential run in 2016.  If his wife will let him . . .

And, to that end, Paul has been traveling, most recently to Detroit, for try-outs.  When politicians with relatively little experience [Paul first took office in 2011] decide to run for president, it is incumbent upon them to prove to the electorate that they have the “right stuff” in a daunting number of categories. 

During his trip to Detroit, Paul launched the Detroit branch of a GOP African-American Engagement Office and also visited the Detroit Economic Club to present his proposal for lifting Detroit out of bankruptcy via what he calls “Economic Freedom Zones” - another name for massive tax cuts, specifically income tax, corporate taxes, payroll taxes and the capital gains tax.

As Paul describes his scheme:

What we hope to do is create taxes so low that you essentially are able to bail yourselves out, by having more money accumulate in the area over time.

read the whole post »

Posted by Bette Noir on 12/08/13 at 12:43 PM
Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '16NuttersTeabaggery

Saturday, December 07, 2013

Dreadful Policy, By Any Other Name . . .

image

Well, it has been an eventful week and suddenly—here we are—less than a year from the 2014 mid-term elections.  How time flies . . . and suddenly Republicans appear to be getting all serious about their public image.

On that subject, I tend to agree with Charlie Pierce who says:

This party doesn’t need rebranding. It needs deprogramming.

Whatever.  But it’s fun to pull back the curtain and take a peek at how the transformation is going . . .

The most timely and topical event, of course, is the conservative reaction to the news of Nelson Mandela’s death.

Republicans are politicians so their first impulse was to offer up respectful homage to a world leader and, hopefully, do it before and/or better than President Obama.  Whereupon they were blinsided by their vituperative post-racism base who were eager to dance on Mandela’s grave and label their pols RINO’s for not joining in the dance.

read the whole post »

Posted by Bette Noir on 12/07/13 at 01:23 PM
Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Friday, December 06, 2013

GOP’s War On Children

image

Well, the timing couldn’t have been worse what with the holidays errr . . . Christmas coming, but Eric Cantor, @GOPLeader, as he styles himself on Twitter, was forced to go all full-metal fascist on some schoolchildren who were singing about immigration reform outside his office yesterday.  When the kids wouldn’t shut up, Cantor’s office called the Capitol Police to bully them away.

As you can see, some of the kids were pretty scared and had to be comforted by the adults in their group.  It’s kind of a shame, too, because the House is in session so seldom that it’s sort of amazing that The Great Oz was actually in.  What the kids couldn’t have known was that Cantor was trying to read a very important white paper on How to Talk to Women without Being a Total Dick.

Maybe the group was fooled into thinking that Cantor was “down with kids” because photos, like the one above that heads up his Twitter feed sure looks that way.  That’s what political PR folks call a 3-bagger—you’ve got the candidate having a swell time with 1) African-American 2) female 3) kids who are our future.  Not bad but he’s not #GOPLeader fer nuthin.

Now others might have handled the situation a little differently.  Some might have even poked their heads out the door to talk to the kids and see what was up with them.  Still others might have given them a little reassuring fairy tale about doing everything humanly possible to do the right thing around their issue.  Not Cantor, though.  He’s learned how to expedite matters with a little muscle while he hides behind his richly appointed door.

Someone needs to remind this self-important martinet that he serves in the People’s House, at the People’s Pleasure and a wise politician doesn’t turn the People away or the People are liable to turn him out of office.

Please feel free to share your reactions with @GOPLeader on Facebook, Twitter, or, better yet on his office phone [which probably goes directly to voice mail] because @GOPLeader is a very important, very busy man, little ones.

Posted by Bette Noir on 12/06/13 at 09:30 AM
Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Thursday, December 05, 2013

When In Doubt, Blow It Up

image

Duncan Hunter (R-CA) comes from a military/political background. 

His father, Duncan Hunter, Sr., was an Army Ranger who served in Vietnam (1970-1971) for which he was awarded a Bronze Star, then went on to serve in the US House of Representatives from 1981-2009 where he chaired the House Armed Services Committee during the 108th and 109th Congress. 

In 2008, Hunter, Sr decided to run for President on the Republican ticket but his campaign fizzled out after the Nevada Republican Caucuses.

Hunter the Younger served in the Marine Corps for 2 tours in Iraq, and continues to serve in the Marine Reserves.  In 2009 Hunter took over his father’s seat, in the US House of Representatives, where he . . . you guessed it! serves on the House Armed Services Committee.

With that kind of pedigree, it’s reasonable to expect that Young Duncan might avoid some of the sillier pratfalls that befall less well-groomed political rookies.  But . . . sadly, no.

read the whole post »

Posted by Bette Noir on 12/05/13 at 01:34 PM
Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

Go West, Old Man

image

(BIG H/T to Oregon Beer Snob for allowing me to use his rendition of Guardian of the Republic)

Back in Autumn, before Marco Rubio’s career flat-lined,  Allen West thought that he, Allen West, would make the perfect replacement to fill Marco Rubio’s tiny shoes, if Rubio decides to run for president.  [Under Florida law, Rubio can only run for one federal office at a time.]

Despite the fact that West’s first term in the House turned into a TEA Party sideshow attraction and his bid for re-election was fraught with melodrama, culminating in a loss to a Democrat in a red district and a protracted tantrum over recounts, West appeared to be quite confident about his chances of winning a statewide election for the Senate:

If that became an open seat, of course I would run. I have a good statewide appeal and a lot of people would like me to get back on Capitol Hill.

Whatever . . . people can and do learn and change and just because Allen West came across as a narcissistic case of arrested development, more of a shouter than a doer, committed to the shock value of extreme rhetoric rather than diplomacy doesn’t mean he’ll always be that way.  Maybe he’ll grow up and actually contribute something . . . ?

To that end, West has kept his profile as high as possible contributing frequently to Fox News and other conserv-o-media outlets, writing his biography Guardian of the Republic, due out in April, 2014, and blogging away.

read the whole post »

Posted by Bette Noir on 12/03/13 at 01:32 PM
Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '16NuttersTeabaggery

Monday, December 02, 2013

Postcards From the Conserv-o-sphere

image

Anyone who worked in business during the ‘90s is probably over-familiar with Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.  It was a thing for a while and transformed regular workers all up and down the ladder into pioneering Paradigm Shifters.

The world of business is particularly susceptible to pop psychology fads, ideally presented at a fourth-grade level, that promise to revolutionize the work environment in ways that just happen to flow right to the bottom line.  The book also happened to spawn a cottage industry of workshops, book sequels, videos and probably action figures that made the highly effective Mr Covey quite wealthy, indeed.

Covey’s 7 Habits for those who don’t have them tattooed on their inner arm, are:

Habit 1: Be Proactive
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
Habit 3: Put First Things First
Habit 4: Think Win-Win
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Habit 6: Synergize
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

Easy enough?  Well, lately I’ve been noticing traces of a deviant strain that appear to have infiltrated the 21st century Republican Mind.

read the whole post »

Posted by Bette Noir on 12/02/13 at 10:42 AM
Permalink

Sunday, December 01, 2013

Gay Thuggery Ruining Everything For Florida TEA Party

image

Meet Danita Kilcullen, founder of the TEA Party Fort Lauderdale—America’s Longest Running Tea Party, or so they claim.  Danita calls herself “a natural-born TEA Partier” which appears to be an accurate statement from my perspective.  But, lest my own jaundiced perception of the TEA Party poison the well, so to speak, I offer up several definitions of the TEA Party from the Urban Dictionary which I find to be a fairly apt barometer of contemporary thought on contemporary issues.

To wit:

TEA Party—

1. white trash identity politics, circa 2009-2010. This movement features the isolated and ignorant boldly and proudly acting as vassals for a small group of cynical thieves, like the Koch brothers.

2. another bunch of useful idiots who believe that a government is “small” when it wastes squillions of dollars on wars but lets poor citizens croak instead of helping them with medicare.

3. a wing of the Republican party dedicated to getting Obama out of office, while conveniently living in denial about the abuses of the Bush years and the Wall Street origins of the Great Recession (2007-present).

4. a group of obese, undereducated hicks who worship the 2nd Amendment, think Obama is a Muslim solely because of his name and skin color, call anyone to the left of Hitler a communist and a socialist, and would rather see Americans starve and die in the streets by the millions than see a Democrat in the White House.

Well, there’s lots more but you get the idea and, getting back to “natural-born” TEA-tastic, Danita Kilcullen, there’s plenty of evidence that she embraces all of the above.

read the whole post »

Posted by Bette Noir on 12/01/13 at 12:28 PM
Permalink

Categories: LGBTPoliticsNuttersTeabaggery

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Snowbound in DC

image

Well, the TEA Party sure has given America a boatload of dumb shit over a relatively brief period of time but Henry J. Radel (R-FL), America’s first Hip-Hop Conservative, has to be way, way at the top of the list and a sure contender for inclusion in this year’s five-volume edition of #GOPFails To Remember.

Trey Radel started out as one of those Rad Young Cons to Watch, a sure-fire change agent who would have undecided millenials flocking to the GOP’s Big Top.  And—BONUS ALERT - Él habla español.  Definitely New Age GOP.

What political donors and supporters couldn’t have known, at the time, was that speaking Spanish was key to Radel’s Colombian back-packing quests for the world’s best blow - a mission that pre-dated Radel’s recent enthusiasm for representing the good people of his home district in the US Congress.

So, when Radel arrived at the Capitol, earlier this year, one of his priorities was to hook up with a Capitol Hill coke dealer.  And that’s when Trey Radel’s terminal stupidity and narcissism ruined the whole game . . . thank God.

read the whole post »

Posted by Bette Noir on 11/26/13 at 12:41 PM
Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Friday, November 22, 2013

Fire In The Hole!

image

Well, it appears that the Hatfields are utterly gobsmacked that the McCoys have fired back at them.

In my opinion, the worst thing about all of this “nuclear” showdown is how widely and thoroughly misunderstood the whole business is, which might be due in some small part to the misnomer “nuclear option,” the coinage of which is usually attributed to the ever flamboyant Sen. Trent Lott (R-MISS) and implies something of epic proportion.

The Right Wingosphere is quivering with rage and awash in the tears of despondent patriots decrying “225 years of tradition blown away” and, I suspect, before too long, some ill-regulated militia will be suiting up to defend the Republic from Harry Reid. 

Well, take a breath, folks.  Rumors that the filibuster is dead have been greatly exaggerated—legislation, Supreme Court appointments can still be filibustered til the cows come home or until the Library of Congress runs out of Dr Seuss.

Reid’s Rule, as it has been dubbed, is a narrow rule change that addresses only judicial nominees and cabinet and administration positions.  In other words, appointments that have rarely been challenged in the past.  Appointments, in fact, that Republicans like Mitch McConnell have constantly reminded us should, for the most part, go unchallenged.

Is it possible that even the lowest-info Americans believe that the Senate has been operating flawlessly in some Utopian legislative realm, that has now, suddenly, been sacked by vandals and will never be the same?  Bullpucky.  If you believe that one, I have a compassionate conservative candidate you might be interested in voting for.  It wasn’t so very long ago that the very same Senate hosted a night of performance art, unforgettably rendered by Mr Cruz, Jr., to advance him in his effort to shut down the US government.

This Senate is not your granddaddy’s Senate and hasn’t been for quite some time . . .

As John Dickerson, channeling Sen. Robert Byrd, put it:

. . .  today’s change made what was de facto now de jure.

read the whole post »

Posted by Bette Noir on 11/22/13 at 11:56 AM
Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Hypocrisy and Privilege: This is About Trey Radel


You know what? I’ll even spot Rep. Trey Radel (FL-R) his weak, borrowed from Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, excuse that he only did cocaine because he was such a drunk, because sure. It’s not like the sting that busted him was perpetrated because he already had a history of purchasing coke (it was), and in any event, I can’t talk about what drunk people might get up to. I am only an indifferent drunk myself. I do know I can’t afford $250 bucks worth of blow if I had that much to spend on bourbon. That is some fucking stupid drunkonomics. But maybe being wasted on microbrews made him wonder if he shouldn’t maybe be doing lines, just like I interrupt a wine binge with espressos (I do no such thing). Sure. That’s logical. (By which I mean “NOT”.)

What isn’t logical is being well aware that people acquire substances to help them through the bitter pain of their day to day existence and get dependent on them, and then thinking that it would be A-OK to penalize the poor for their propensity to self-medicate against the horror of a crappy reality by piss-testing people to qualify for their benefits.

Do I think Rep. Radel was maybe in the midst of getting high his ownself when he thought this would be a nifty exercise to spring on the poor? Yeah. I think so. Do I think he thought he was fundamentally different from some wasted SOB who couldn’t catch a job because he himself had a good one in Congress, and therefore, he was morally better than that other kind of substance-user? Yes, indeed. I think he believes he is morally and substantively different from some person who might use drugs, but does not have money.

In other words, he is a real prick. Now, there is drug and alcohol rehab, but I do not know that there is any successful “being a real prick” rehab. But he could use that kind. He surely could.

(X-posted at Strangely Blogged)

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 11/20/13 at 11:40 PM
Permalink

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Say You Want A Revolution?

image

Unless you’re a right-wing extremist voyeur or really peculiar in other ways you were probably completely unaware of the demonstration taking place in Lafayette Square across the street from the White House, today.

The demonstration/occupation/whatever is being led by a former Reagan administration DoJ prosecutor turned birther named Larry Klayman.  The name might ring a bell because Klayman showed up at the World War II memorial for the “Million Vets March,” last month, to help the Republicans who shut the memorial down, reopen it. 

read the whole post »

Posted by Bette Noir on 11/19/13 at 02:15 PM
Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersTeabaggery

Friday, November 15, 2013

Blame It On Texas

image

It’s become close to a truism that if political events conspire to give Republicans any kind of unanticipated boon, they will immediately find a way to fk it up, usually to disastrously hilarious effect.

And, so it is that Rep. Pete Olson (R-TX), who assures us he does not take his new project lightly, has rounded up eight other steely-eyed Texan reps, plus a handful of House conspiracy experts, to draw up Articles of Impeachment charging Attorney General Eric Holder with high crimes and other stuff that really ticks Republicans off.

read the whole post »

Posted by Bette Noir on 11/15/13 at 10:57 AM
Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Friday, November 08, 2013

El Cucuy Gonna Getcha, If You Don’t Watch Out

image

Apparently, Ted Cruz is feeling a little insecure these days what with his highly publicized catalog of freshman fiascoes and the fact that dear old Dad, Senor Crazypants, is upstaging him at every turn, lately.

The most recent sign that Cruz is making a course adjustment was news, last week, coming out of a closed-door Republican luncheon, that Cruz has promised to “not actively campaign against” his Senate colleagues or “help raise money for their primary opponents.”

What a guy!

So. What does a megalomaniac do when he’s not getting enough attention? well, this one goes out to his own backyard and barks at the president in a typically Cruz-ian display of tastelessness and deplorably bad timing.

Days away from the 50th anniversary of the Kennedy assassination in Dallas, TX, Cruz decides that it would be appropriate to publicly warn President Obama against coming to Dallas:

President Obama should take his broken promises tour elsewhere so Texans can continue focusing on the solutions that have allowed our state to become and remain the nation’s economic and job creation powerhouse.

No wonder some Tejanos refer to Ted Cruz as El Cu-cuy—the boogeyman.

read the whole post »

Posted by Bette Noir on 11/08/13 at 12:45 PM
Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '16NuttersTeabaggeryRelijun

Thursday, November 07, 2013

Innocence Bludgeoned with a Candlestick in the Conservatory

Via Whiskey Fire, I found a link to a boring old harrumph from boring old Colonel Mustard (see DijonGate) expressing outrage at the prospect of highly educated artsy-fartsy types getting free health insurance under ObamaCare instead of pursuing a soul-crushing professoriate or dying a painful, lonely death from a preventable disease in a rundown artist garret. As God intended.

The Colonel manages to work Nancy Pelosi and struggling rock musicians into his plaint about being forced to subsidize shiftless painters and textile artists—pretty standard “are there no workhouses” fare. But the real fun begins in the comments section, which starts with a complaint about “low achievers” killing the work ethic, until a self-styled member of that demographic pipes up:

Hey now! I’m a low achiever (never had much ambition), but I’m SELF-RELIANT low achiever. I ask no one to support my lifestyle but myself.

The glory of it all, is that I am civil disobedient, not enrolling, even though I would probably qualify even more than those “artists”. I draw comic characters as a hobby, and I drink Lattes. OMG, How many liberal minds just burst from the fact that I’m a tea party conservative?

Dollars to donuts the layabout cartoonist is as independent of government largesse as a fellow tea partier on a Medicare-subsized mobility scooter. And while his words seemed calculated to endear him to Colonel Mustard’s audience, the ruffian blew it by supplying a link to one of his impure doodlings to support his bona fides as an artiste. Well! That prompted a passing preacher to involuntarily become engorged, and the offended shaman dressed the cartoonist down thusly:

I’m not trying to be a jerk, but when you put down a link to something, you may want to let people know that they are about to be linked to illustrations of naked women with erect nipples, simply out of courtesy. I’m a celibate clergyman, and I try very hard not to entertain thoughts or images of naked women, especially if they look like the one that greeted me upon linking. When one tries to quiet the mind for prayer, often the day’s most memorable events, images, sounds, etc., try to pry in and disrupt one’s focus. It also helps to avoid temptation, if such images are not before my eyes and in my head. I know that many other men try to keep their virtue intact, not just clergy. The less we see of naked women, the better.

For those of you who haven’t already scurried over to Casa de Mustard to check out the titillating cartoon for yourselves, allow me to assure you that it’s a pretty harmless Catwoman knock-off. Catwoman with high-beams, mind you, but hardly a buck-nekkid siren to lure the preacher man into the pits of hell. You’ll see more salacious ads at the mall. Duh, stay off the internet, Padre!

Anyhoo, there’s no real point to this post other than pointing and laughing, so feel free to treat it as an open thread. Or take the high road and discuss whether or not destitute PhDs who pursue a career in pottery should receive subsidized medical benefits up front or just go to the hospital as uninsured ER patients and jack up medical costs for us all on the back-end.

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/07/13 at 02:28 PM
Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrNuttersTeabaggery

Page 3 of 90 pages  <  1 2 3 4 5 >  Last »