Thursday, January 30, 2014

One Sh*t Sandwich - Hold The Bread.  Coming Right Up!


Evidently, House Republicans were so inspired by President Obama’s SOTU speech that they stayed up all night dreaming up really cool, bipartisan ways to help him achieve the goals he outlined.

Republicans really hate it when people accuse them of being a do-nothing pack of congressional losers because they have binders—they can show ‘em to you—full of really great laws that would fix so many problems if Obama would just put down his veto pen and quit being such a dictator.

So, this morning, House Republican leaders delivered a letter, to the President, promising to pull four of their favorite 2013 bills out of the circular file and toss them across the aisle and give him one more chance to be a team player, because this is an election year and nobody likes a do-nothing Congress.

Without further ado here are their offerings:

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/30/14 at 04:23 PM

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaBqhatevwrElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

GOP SOTU Response: Talking To Myself And Feeling Old


(h/t Ban T-shirts for their inspired design above)

Well, now, I’ll bet a whole lot of women feel much better this morning after Cathy McMorris-Rodgers invited the nation to join her at her well-appointed hearth to feel the love coming from the new outreachy GOP. 

Actually she didn’t do too badly, given her mission, but I have to agree with Ann Coulter for once in my life, that Republicans should ditch the voice coaches . . . whatever. 

McMorris-Rodgers did pretty much what I was expecting, stopping short of changing a diaper on camera, reading Green Eggs and Ham to her six-year-old or explaining why she votes against things like VAWA, the Lily Ledbetter Act or extending unemployment benefits when her district has some of the highest unemployment rates in the state.

I have to assume that the idea of putting Rep. McMorris-Rodgers forward was to prove that far from waging a War on Women, Republicans are anxious to welcome more women into the fold.  I’m not sure who masterminds such strategies but it’s obviously someone who doesn’t realize that nice, white, traditional values, supermom evangelicals already pretty much vote Republican . . .

I suppose that the rest of American women - single career women, single mothers, college students, senior women, women of color, Native American women, Latinas, poor women, lesbians, disabled women—the bulk of women, in other words, are just not that attractive to the GOP.  Or, maybe they realize that they just don’t have much to offer women like that and probably never will.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/29/14 at 04:36 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggeryWar On Women

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The State Of The Union Is A Cryin’ Shame


Nothing in recent history has galvanized the Republican party more than the back to back presidencies of George W. Bush and Barack Obama.  Bush, who has been deemed by historians as arguably one of the worst US presidents in history, did his party no favors in the public image department. 

And the very thought of Barack Obama, the United States’ first African-American president presiding over the Oval Office has driven today’s largely white Republican Party to distraction, eliciting characterizations of Obama as a witch doctor, a Muslim, a fraudulent foreign-born usurper, a Nazi, the evil mastermind behind a New World Order and a Communist among other things . . . not that they’re racist.

The aberrational and reactionary TEA Party wave of 2010 led demoralized congressional Republicans to believe that all was forgiven and that they had a popular mandate to kneecap Obama’s presidency by launching a full-out campaign to obstruct and undermine any of Obama’s policy efforts and initiatives. 

Unfortunately their nihilistic crusade has done measurable harm to the country and shows no sign of abating any time soon.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/28/14 at 03:45 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Disappointed in Dinesh D’Souza

The situation may well be dire for Dinesh D’Souza, conservative public intellectual, film-maker, and Christmas tree salesman.  His recent indictment for charges of campaign finance fraud, for allegedly filtering $20K in campaign contributions to a long-time friend, Wendy Long, through “straw contributors”, could very well result in mandated jail time if he is found guilty. As in the picture above, you could say he’s up the creek on this one, but it’s a very odd thing, if you ask me.

Now, I don’t care for D’Souza, as might be evident by how I’ve written about him in the past. His claim that there is something un-American about being opposed to British colonialism, and selling that idea to people in tricorn hats waving stars and stripes, struck me as a tad incongruous and not without some racialist undertones when I first heard it, and I pretty much determined where his head was at when he quite recently made a tasteless tweet  using a dead youth to malign the current president. His sensationalization of Barack Obama’s “hidden” life and times in his wingnut welfare hit (job) movie aimed low and didn’t miss hitting a low bar and stumbling right over, failing to actually be in any way a meaningful criticism of the President, even if a meaningful criticism based on policy from a conservative point of view could have potentially been made—but might not have been “sexy” enough for the president of a smallish Christian college who did not realize that not even being divorced from his current wife would look bad if he was kinda shacking up with some other lady.

But if anything, senationalist hot-button books and movies at least have some lucrative value, even if they don’t live up to what an actual intellectual dissection of the target might mean in actual effect. But this indictment is talking about a mere $20k (is that—“That they can prove” or what?) laundered (to use a term of art) through straw contributors (they had to have consented, yes?) to a campaign that lost so very, very considerably.  I mean it wasn’t even close. Twenty large would have barely closed the deal on enough media time to make it remotely competitive. Not disrespecting whether he and the former Wendy Stone went way back—but what makes a guy risk jail time and at least four other suckers unindicted co-conspirators go in for the thing? Sheer ignorance of the FEC and laws thereabout? This is neither brain science nor rocket surgery, friends.

I get that some conspiracy-minded folks are saying this is a biased charge, but I find it hard to think there would be motion on this without any evidence at all.  I’m thinking this is out there because the Feds are dead-to-rights on the 20G’s they know about. Anything they shake out besides that is gravy. I just can’t figure out why.

That’s disappointing. What did he think he was doing there? For a public intellectual, he could be more smart.

(X-posted at Strangely Blogged.)

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 01/25/14 at 01:23 AM

Friday, January 24, 2014

GOP Declares 2014 Year of Lady Outreach


(h/t to Down With Tyranny for the stunning portrait above)

Well! it’s that magical time of year when Republicans hole up with the RNC to plot their next moves and this year should be a doozy because . . . REBRAND!

Apparently, Republicans have weighed their many options—Blacks? Latinos? Gays? Poors? Millenials?—and decided that 2014 will be The Year Of The Lady under the GOP Big Top.  In keeping with that theme, one of the very first orders of business for this year’s Republican Retreat was to eradicate the notion that there ever was/is or will be a Republican War on Women.

And anyone who thinks there ever was is most likely a Liebrul slut who mistakes Republican core principles for misogyny.  Transvaginal ultrasounds, IRS rape audits and forcing women to buy special lady insurance are simply conservative approaches for saving women from their pathetic dependence on Uncle Sugar to regulate their uncontrollable libidos or being lured into servitude by Democrat welfare checks.

To that end, Republicans have proposed the following resolution for 2014, on which they will vote, today:


RESOLVED, The Republican National Committee condemns the Democrats’ deceptive “war on women” rhetoric;

RESOLVED, The Republican National Committee will support Republican pro-life candidates who fight back against Democratic deceptive “war on women” rhetoric by pointing out the extreme positions on abortion held by Democratic opponents;

RESOLVED, The Republican National Committee will not support the strategy of Republican pro-life candidates who stay silent in the face of such deceptive rhetoric; and,

RESOLVED, The Republican National Committee urges all Republican pro-life candidates, consultants, and other national Republican Political Action Committees to reject a strategy of silence on the abortion issue when candidates are attacked with “war on women” rhetoric.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/24/14 at 01:07 PM

Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '14NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryRelijun

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Yo! Kentucky! Pleaaassse . . Ditch Mitch


Well it must be an election year for Senate Satrap and Most Valuable Obstructor, Mitch McConnell (R-KY), because he’s starting to surround himself with military veterans and cancer survivors once again.  And campaign manager Jesse Benton has been spotted going around sporting a chip clip on his nose . . .

Back in November, for Veteran’s Day:

McConnell spoke to a group of his supporters at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in a room decorated with American flags and ‘Veterans for Team Mitch’ signs.


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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/22/14 at 01:47 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

The Rebranding 2014: Brave New GOP


If anyone asks [and, so far, no one has] I’d have to give the RNC’s rebranding effort aka the Growth and Opportunity Project a solid F+.  The plus is for the one thing that was prescribed in that roadmap that Republicans actually seem to be doing something about—creating a 21st century GOTV operation to beef up their heretofore pathetic ground game.

For that particular line item, I’d give them a C because they are still talking about it, have made a few hires and announced that the Republican National Committee is getting out of the political ad business to focus its considerable talents on IT.  Judging from their condescending derision of all things healthcare.gov, this should be entertaining.

The Republican National Committee says it is changing its entire approach to campaigns, electing to focus on building the party’s grass roots on a constant basis rather than stockpiling money for TV ads in the months before an election.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/15/14 at 01:59 PM

Categories: LGBTPoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

The Loon Star State!  Not For Everyone . . .


Just suppose you’re the lucky blogger who is invited to speak at the Texans for Freedom and Liberty “Freedom Rally” at the Cottonwood Creek Baptist Church last Saturday.  Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to loosen up the crowd with a little conservative humor [oxymoron alert] before the main event:  The One, The Only, Senator Ted Cruz.

You must find just the right subject matter and tone so that the crowd will be ready for The Really, Really Serious Message to be delivered straight from the lips of The Anointed One.

Here’s what Bill Whittle came up with:

“You will see a lot of cars coming west heading east on Interstate 10, and they’re going to have California license plates on them,” Whittle said, as the crowd begins to laugh. “Now, if you see these cars pull into rest areas or hotels or restaurants, that’s fine; wave goodbye, make sure they go out on the Louisiana end.”

“But if you see them pull off into residential areas, you need to open fire on these vehicles immediately,” Whittle said, as the crowd laughs appreciatively and applauds loudly. “Immediately. Not with 9mm or AR rounds; you need to put mortars on those things, you cannot take any chances.”

And, just in case anyone found that advice a little scary:

“What’s the worst that could happen to you?” Whittle said. “I mean, honestly, this is Texas, right? You’ll stand in front of a Texas judge, (and) he’ll say, ‘Did you shoot up that car full of Californians?’ You’ll say yes, he’ll say why. You’ll say, ‘Well, your honor, they needed killing.’ And he’ll say, ‘We’ll strike a medal in your honor,’ and off you go.”


I know, I know, Texas . . .

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/14/14 at 01:10 PM

Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Wednesday, January 08, 2014

The Highway’s Jammed by Right Wing Zeroes on a Fat Chance Power Trip

I’ve written quite a bit about New Jersey governor Chris Christie, aka the Hudson Harkonnen, America’s cafone, and Phony Soprano.  The latest Chris Christie news is a rapidly ballooning scandal, the closure of lanes on the George Washington Bridge by Christie Administration Port Authority apointees which caused major traffic snarls, seemingly to punish the Democratic mayor of Fort Lee, who didn’t endorse him in his gubernatorial race.  Predictably, Christie is blaming an underling for this d-baggery.  Christie is just the sort of vindictive creep who’d place the lives of ordinary people at risk (the lane closures have been implicated in the death of a woman due to a delay in the arrival of medical help) to “punish” an “enemy”. 

To tell the truth, Christie’s handling of Port Authority matters has been awful from the beginning of his tenure as governor, when he put the kibosh on a Hudson River rail crossing that would have been funded by the federal government.  Even when he’s not motivated by spite, the guy is an utter disaster.

I wonder if, had Christie’s incompetent-at-best and depraved-at-worst Port Authority hires been exposed in November, the jerk would have won the gubernatorial election.  By making people’s commutes longer and more tedious, his administration hit people “where they live”.  I don’t believe that even the most rabid GOPer would countenance a policy which directly harmed him… not only “those people” were affected by these traffic snarls.

Got buyers’ remorse, Jerseyites?

Cross posted at my eponymous blog.

Posted by Big Bad Bald Bastard on 01/08/14 at 11:44 PM

Categories: New York CityPoliticsNuttersTeabaggery

Dispassionate Conservatism On the Move


So.  That sneaky Democrat-led Senate has forced the House to go on defense and produce a new installment in its efforts to put on a happy face and win some elections, dammit! 

House Republican leadership issued a new talking points memo, this week, in its series The Rebranding: How To Be.  Close on the heels of their “How To Handle a Woman” memo, this latest one is directed at helping members to sound compassionate about the plight of the unemployed while denying a long-term unemployment benefit extension.  Maybe the GOP will merge the two to create a separate memo for dealing with the “female unemployed”?

The hope is that a demonstration of caring will persuade the long-term unemployed to get out of their “safety net hammock” and get a job.  Once that occurs, the newly employed person’s self-esteem will skyrocket and, in a show of gratitude, s/he will vote Republican.

The Washington Post, bless their hearts, obtained a copy of the actual memo which is every bit as odious as you might expect. 

Read it and weep:


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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/08/14 at 10:50 AM

Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrBushCoNuttersTeabaggery

Tuesday, January 07, 2014

Is There a Doctor In The House?


Suppose I’m an average American . . . I’m not exactly “low-info” or even politically apathetic, I’m just pretty busy having a life.  I’ve got kids, a dog, a job and, now, a tetchy water heater that probably needs replacing.  I just don’t have the bandwidth to turn over every rock in the political landscape and inventory the slugs living under them.  I live in America the Exceptional so I take some things on faith.

For too long, now, I hear way too much about Obamacare and how it’s going to save or destroy the country and none of it makes a whole lot of sense.  And since I have “real” health insurance for my family, through my job, I don’t really need to think about it. Right?  I wouldn’t mind paying less for my share but it’s just way too risky to switch insurance when you have it.

So.  This morning, on the way to work, I hear that some big organization for doctors has taken a case to the Supreme Court for an emergency hold on the Obamacare roll-out.  That gets my attention—this isn’t crazy politicians with an ax to grind but real doctors.  And doctors are smart and professional and they know what’s going on in the medical world.  This sounds serious if the doctors are going all the way to the Supreme Court to stop Obamacare . . .

                                                * * *

OK.  I read that, too.  And I’m retired so I have lots of time to not take things “on faith” in 21st century America.  The downside of that is that I am sometimes tempted to march off a cliff into the sea and never look back.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/07/14 at 12:22 PM

Categories: PoliticsHealth CareNuttersTeabaggery

Monday, January 06, 2014

Come For the Carpetbagging, Stay for the Fishing

Sadly, it appears that the bid for US senator from Wyoming of torture apologist and nattering nabob of nepotism, Liz Cheney, may be drawing to a close.  It’s really quite unfortunate that a campaign that featured a massive rift between herself and her sister and sister-in-law over the validity of their marriage, an apparent break in the friendship between Darth Former Vice-President Dick Cheney and Senator Mike Enzi,  the payment of a fine over a fraudulently-completed application for a fishing license, and the revelation that Mr. Liz Cheney was registered to vote in two, count them, two states, (which is certainly the sort of thing that can happen if you are a resident of… wherever you say you are)—was all for naught.

But let’s look for silver linings, shall we? Now that Liz Cheney has settled in the lovely state of Wyoming, she can spend time getting to know people and making herself some friends, possibly bonding over casting lines and hoisting brewskis. It might just be that she is what we would call an “acquired taste” and the good folks of Wyoming haven’t had ample enough opportunity to, um, acquire a taste for her. (I know I never have.)

Now admittedly, they might never warm to her (although pitchforks and torches may be involved at some point down the line) and taking up full-time residence in Wyoming may cut into her television appearances shilling for neoconservative foreign policy ideas she learned at daddy’s knee. I don’t see a downside there.

(X-posted at Strangely Blogged. )

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 01/06/14 at 12:33 AM

Categories: Knee SlappersMessylaneousPoliticsBqhatevwrElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Saturday, January 04, 2014

YOLO, Mr. Meacham. YOLO


Oh, dear! sometimes I just want to throw my hands in the air and quote The Beatles:

All the lonely people
where do they all belong?

From a mother’s perspective, the one pictured above belongs in therapy. 

Young Trestin Meacham has tried many, many ways, in his relatively short life, to get attention.  The internet is dotted with the potholes of his abandoned bloggery; in 2012 he ran for the Utah State Senate on the Constitution Party ticket and $100.00 in campaign donations; and, when that failed, he created the Constitutional Heroarchy of Kherutistan, online, complete with flag, history, it’s own currency—Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, to be exact.

But only this week, did Trestin Meacham achieve his dream of “going viral” by declaring a hunger strike until Utah gays stop getting married.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/04/14 at 01:01 PM

Categories: LGBTPoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryRelijun

Thursday, January 02, 2014

Mark Darr: A Cautionary Tale


Ever since our relatives started painting in caves and piling up rocks into henges and such, the circadian tingle of a New Year has inspired us to look backward and forward for clues as to how to keep surviving and thriving in a tricky world.

And, so it is, that New Year’s retrospectives are an instinctive human habit, as are the cautionary tales that we spin and the resolutions that we make based on our realization of how thin a line separates human success from failure.

Generally, we undertake New Year’s resolutions in an effort to internalize the lessons learned during the previous year and use those lessons to make our lives and our selves better in some way. 

Now, I’m just a humble blogger, a lay observer and parser of political life primarily for my own personal entertainment and/or edification.  That said, in my humble opinion, and based on 60+ years of observation, 2013 seems to me to have been a particularly sucky year in these American colonies—a watershed year of dysfunction, ineptitude and sociopathology in the realm of American politics.

Because I happen to still believe in the premise of “government of the people, by the people and for the people,” I must take part of the blame for that suckiness.  Ergo, this year, it is my New Year’s resolution to Embrace the Suck to unlock the hidden secrets of combating The Stupid before it gobbles us up.  And I sincerely hope that many of my fellow Americans will join me in that effort to make life in these United States just a little less sucky.

To clarify what I believe we might each be able to contribute to that effort, I’d like to take a deep dive into an illustrative cautionary tale about how easily things can go awry when we are not terribly smart about our politics.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/02/14 at 11:09 AM

Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Friday, December 20, 2013

Blow Me Away


Every year, in December, the International Order of Peter Pan awards its annual “I’ll Never Grow Up” award to the adult public figure who, in the society’s opinion, has delivered the most compelling public portrayal of arrested development for the year. 

Christmas, of course, is a natural time of year for this particular awards ceremony because . . . well, we all get to be kids again, for a bit.

So, without further ado, the winner of this year’s “I’ll Never Grow Up” award goes to Henry J. Radel, III aka Trey, the Hip-hop Conservative.

Trey has had a “colorful” past, reflected in his resume, that suggests a little Career ADD—in the 13 years since Radel graduated from college he has done stints as: an actor and comedian; journalist, working as both an anchor and as a reporter; TV and radio talk show host; owner of the Naples Journal community newspaper; and Founder of Trey Communications LLC, a conservative media relations firm which also purchased and sold internet domain names. 

He was only ten months into his latest gig—U.S. Representative—when he had the misfortune to be caught up in a drug sting for buying some coke to help him with his alcohol addiction . . . ?

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Posted by Bette Noir on 12/20/13 at 12:24 PM

Categories: PoliticsBedwettersElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

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