Teabaggery

Monday, July 22, 2013

I Am Posting A Clip From “The View” Because Ken Cuccinelli

I have been in the Commonwealth of Virginia, and, I am not entirely averse to admitting, reasonably certain I have broken a few of their retrograde antisex laws while I was there. Actually, I think I was probably there with the explicit intention of probably getting around to doing some of the things their legislators in times of yore believed were, ahem, “icky”. 

I have to admit to complete and total mystification regarding a candidate for governor who persists in being, you know. That guy. But I have a larger point to make, other than admitting to being at least kind of sort of the exact people Cooch is interested in legally persuing for, I guess, having some kind of fun in Virginia not explicitly associated with, like, a water park or maybe Colonial Williamsburg. Did you hear about this thing regarding the current governor, Bob McDonnell, who was kind of warned against as being a total retrograde antisex theocrat who sort of kind of turned out to be also a grifter? Well, some of that grifterism allegation is looking to backwash on Cuccinelli.

Huh. Taking gifts as a government official? That blows. Probably should be, like, illegal or something, right? I guess ethics is what you make of it. Or at least, if you’re Ken Cuccinelli, you legislate bedroom morality, but in the taxpayer-funded office? Anything goes!

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 07/22/13 at 11:12 PM
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Categories: LGBTPoliticsBqhatevwrNuttersTeabaggeryWar On WomenRelijunSkull Hampers

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Republicans Defund SNAP.  Next Up:  Work Houses

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Wow, the Republicans really went there.  In a 216-208 vote the House approved the Farm Bill.  With no food stamps support.  Yes, the Rethugs stripped out the funding for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP).

The Dems didn’t make it easy for them - by all accounts it was an acrimonious fight.  And there’s hope that the conference committee will restore the funding. But at the end of this day the Republicans had more votes.  But there’s really no difference between the two parties, amirite?

Posted by marindenver on 07/11/13 at 06:05 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersTeabaggery

Friday, July 05, 2013

Senator Cruz’s Stunning Intellectual Failure

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As they say in the District, it’s never too soon to start a campaign.  And that goes double when you’re a white-hot political comet like Senator Ted Cruz (R-Loon Star State) fancies himself to be.

Cruz strikes me as a methodical type so I’m guessing that he’s spending some time, right now, ticking off the foreign policy cred boxes on his presidential qualifications to-do list.  Lately, Cruz has had a good bit of criticism for the administration’s approach to foreign policy issues large and small, accompanied by Senator Cruz’s own much better ideas, in case we’re interested.

Granted, Sen. Cruz’s foreign policy experience is, so far, limited to sniffing out Commies on the Harvard faculty but, hey . . . HARVARD!! you guys.  That must make Cruz at least as smart as the Harvard guy whose actual foreign policy is such a hot mess in Cruz’s estimation.

To celebrate the military coup in Egypt, Sen. Cruz took to the pages of Foreign Policy‘s blog to pronounce President Obama’s policy a “stunning diplomatic failure:” 

One would expect to find the United States standing firmly with these people. Surely, after our long and lonely search for secular and democratic partners in the Arab world, we could find some common ground with them. Surely, we could see the value of an administration in Egypt that could act as both a southern bulwark for Israel and a much-needed partner in countering the terrorist outposts in the Sinai and Horn of Africa. And surely, we could help support a government that could stand as an example for struggling states like Libya and Iran — one that proves Muslim-majority countries in the Middle East are not predestined to live in oppressive theocracies.

Tragically, America has been relegated to the sidelines.

Tragically??  Seriously, Ted?

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Posted by Bette Noir on 07/05/13 at 02:48 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '16NuttersTeabaggery

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Senator McCain - You Seriously Think That Letter’s a Good Idea??

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via

Wow, Uncle Grumps McCain seems to be morphing into yr creepy step-uncle who ya don’t really want to hug if you can avoid it. 

For background, the DOJ, after investigating charges that colleges and universities were pretty much ignoring or down playing charges of sexual assault and harassment on campuses has put out new guidelines for reporting instances of unwanted sexual conduct.

The OCR has responded by ratcheting up enforcement of Title IX, a federal law that prohibits gender-based discrimination in colleges, to introduce new regulations on sexual assault policies. And out of that effort comes an agreement so mild that it has elicited only hopeful skepticism from campus activists. But the mere assertion that it is possible for speech to be harassing under certain conditions, and that colleges ought to investigate harassing behavior on their campuses, has conservatives in uproar.

Surprise, surprise.  I mean since college co-eds are basically just sexy sluts anyway, shouldn’t the menz be able to *wink wink* give them what they know they want anyway!!

One, totally not creepy, pundit has even suggested that we are de-eroticizing our universities!  Yes, because consent is not a thing, you know, so without the ability to disregard the word “no” sex and eroticity will totally disappear from the college environment.

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Posted by marindenver on 07/03/13 at 07:49 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '08St. McSameNuttersTeabaggeryWar On Women

Friday, June 21, 2013

Give Us This Day Our Daily King Crab

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I have a little guilty pleasure that I’m about to admit to . . .  whenever I’m feeling especially blue, down in the dumps as it were, I just google me up some fresh, hot Gohmert and a few belly laughs later? good to go!

Louie rarely disappoints because he’s one of those guys who was born totally without inhibition or a functioning bullshit filter, so whatever spontaneous surreal images or associations occur in Louie’s head, they come tumbling out, real time.

Today’s offering had to do with the most recent House of Representatives fiasco—non-passage of a Farm Bill that has been kicking around for three years now.  US Farm bills are what is known in the trade as an omnibus bill—Congress-speak for a Pork Lovers Dream and, historically, Congress has little problem with larding ‘em up and letting ‘em rip.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 06/21/13 at 07:55 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersTeabaggery

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Immigration Reform and The Great Fence

Immigration reform has languished over the demands of the likes of Sen. John Cornyn-R YouGuessedItTexas that the border be 90% absolutetalamentaly seeecured before any meaningful reform could take place.  But now!  A couple of, yes, Republican senators, Bob Corker, R-TN & John Hoeven, R-ND have come up with a great new plan that will so totally erase the poison pill provision that Cornyn wants to slam in there to insure that immigration reform will never occur.

Let’s just double-down on the number of border patrol agents from about 20,000 to 40,000 and pretend that now we have 90% border security or whatever they want.  PLUS we’ll build that fence another 350 miles to total 700 miles of a fence that absolutely cannot be climbed or gotten over, no.  (Ahem, unless someone comes up with a great deal on, like, ladders and stuff.)

Have the Rethuggies really thought this through?  They’re creating f’n jobs with this bill!  Apparently they haven’t heard that gummint doesn’t create jobs.  Oh, unless it’s for keepin’ brown people out there yonder where they belong, amirite?

Too bad, though, that this is really just a big nothingball.  The House isn’t going to pass any kind of immigration reform bill no way no how.  And Rethug outreach to minorities continues apace.

Posted by marindenver on 06/20/13 at 08:44 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersTeabaggery

Postcard from Dystopia

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A few days ago, in Anne Laurie’s thread about Rand Paul’s tenuous belief in democracy, the topic turned to speculation about Baby Doc’s presidential aspirations. I said:

I have a hard time believing Baby Doc could get elected to any office that required appealing to voters who are not hardcore wingnuts and Papa Doc fans. It’s not that the electorate is particularly discerning. It’s just that Baby Doc comes across as such an arrogant, smarmy prick.

I was right about Paul being an arrogant, smarmy prick, but upon further reflection, I should have known better than to think that’s a disqualifying factor in a general election. An example is right under my nose here in Florida, where Rick Scott—a Voldemort lookalike and known crook who displays all the personal warmth and charm of an anaconda—was elected governor in 2010.

True, Scott won with less than 50% of the vote, and he needed $77 million of his personal fortune, a wind at his back gusted up by the rebranded Bush dead-ender “Tea Party” plus the apathy of Democrats dispirited by a real and perceived lack of pony production on the part of President Obama and the Democratic Congress. All of this broke Scott’s way.

Some might dismiss Scott’s election as just another example of Florida insanity, like face-eating zombies, airborne fish attacks and fatal roach-eating contests. Maybe, but I think Florida is a better microcosm for America than is generally acknowledged.

Florida has left-of-center coastal enclaves, heavily armed yahoos and religious fanatics in the interior, a growing immigrant population, simmering racial tensions, a politically powerful “Screw you, Jack, I’ve got mine!” elderly population and disaffected, jobless young folks who have been robbed of their future and birthright by nature-despoiling greed-heads.

Is this not America?

As for the future, Scott’s approval ratings have consistently been among the lowest of any governor in the US, and I used to believe that all the Democrats had to do to beat him handily next year was nominate someone capable of fogging a mirror. But the Florida Democratic Party (of which I am a proud member) is a hot mess, and fault lines are emerging that could result in yet another epic fail.

Those fault lines are reflected on this blog (stupid fucking firebagger! drone-loving obot!), and you’ll see them deepen nationally as 2016 approaches. Love him or not, President Obama is a gifted politician, but he’s won his last election.

Can anyone else bring our fractured coalition together—if only for one fucking day? We better hope so. Unless the rest of you want to live in a Hiaasen novel too.

[Image credit: Buzzfeed; x-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/20/13 at 11:06 AM
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Wednesday, June 19, 2013

When Is a Senator Not a Senator?

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Sen. Mike Lee, like many of his Senate colleagues, has a law degree.  His is from Brigham Young and, apparently, Lee fancies himself to be something of a constitutional scholar.  I say that because Mike Lee likes to pronounce things unconstitutional.  Especially things like Obamacare.

Lee also appears to be quite the over-achiever.  For example, whilst serving as the brand new senator from Utah, Lee has somehow managed to find the time to write two books (not one—count ‘em, two books) while also trying to learn the ropes of senator-ing. 

If John McCain is any judge of the latter, Lee probably ought to stick to book-writing:

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Posted by Bette Noir on 06/19/13 at 04:25 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Is There A Doctor in the House?

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[h/t for the scientific drawing from Cartoon Mario]

Don’t worry . . . this doctor is not a real representative, he just plays one at tea parties.  Meet Dr. Michael Burgess, OB/Gyn, author* and US Representative (R-TX) from the Loon Star State.  Dr Burgess has served in the House since 2002, chairing the Congressional Health Care caucus, of which he is the only official member, and serving in the House TEA Party Caucus.

Recently, Dr Burgess has grabbed our attention during the House Republicans’ most recent sortie in its War on Women, with his rather prurient, if unscientific, theory that male fetuses spend a good bit of time “spanking the monkey” while in the womb.

[*Burgess, Michael (2011). Doctor in the House: A Physician-Turned-Congressman Offers His Prescription for Scrapping Obamacare – and Saving America’s Medical System. Midpoint Trade Books. ISBN 978-1-936488-25-4. Retrieved 2011-11-16.]

Dr Burgess presented his theory during a House Rules committee debate on the Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act, which would ban abortions nationwide after 20 weeks of pregnancy:

“This is a subject that I do know something about,” Burgess said, citing his experience as an OB/GYN. “There is no question in my mind that a baby at 20-weeks after conception can feel pain. The fact of the matter is, I argue with the chairman because I thought the date was far too late. We should be setting this at 15-weeks, 16-weeks.”

“Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful,” he continued. “They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to think that they could feel pain?”

Ahem.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 06/18/13 at 09:05 AM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryWar On Women

Friday, June 14, 2013

Party of Family Values: Father’s Day Edition

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If you thought Tanner Flake was one seriously bigoted kid, wait’ll you get a load of Joey Heck’s twitterings . . .

Apparently, some of the “values” of the Party of Family Values need a little re-tooling.  How else to interpret the fact that, in one week, two separate spawn of the GOP—Tanner Flake (aka N1ggerKiller), son of Sen. Jeff Flake (R-AZ) and Joey Heck, son of Rep. Joe Heck (R-NV)—are outed as social-media-opaths?  Two All-American white, Christian paragons (ok, ok one’s Mormon), sons of All-American white, Christian paragon fathers, spend their leisure time just frothing, fuming and twittering hate at anyone who isn’t an All-American white, Christian paragon i.e., faggots, niggas, women, Jews, Obama, Messicans, Obama, Indians, Obama, Muslims, etc. [in their words].  These kids, if nothing else, are equal opportunity bigots, they pretty much hate every one who isn’t a white male.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 06/14/13 at 09:32 AM
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Thursday, June 13, 2013

Heh, The Obrewercare Edition

Because He Was Too Busy Threatening You?


Ever since Battlin’ Jan Brewer refused to sign any more legislation until Arizona passed the Obamacare Medicaid Expansion, Arizona Teapublicans feel like they’ve been punched in the gut!  More like jabbed in the ribs by a governor who knows how to read financial reports, which, like reality, tend to have an anti-Tea bias.  Welcome to the RINOdome, Governor! It’s beginning to look like at at least some Red State executive branches aren’t entirely drowning in tea.

Or tasty, full-bodied ambition.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 06/13/13 at 02:11 PM
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Categories: ImagesPoliticsHealth CareNuttersTeabaggery

Monday, June 10, 2013

¡SI, SE PUEDE!

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This should be an interesting week, on the GOP Brand Repair front, given that the Senate will be taking up the illustrious Gang of 8’s compendious immigration reform bill—S 744 [this bad boy is an epic pork roll weighing in at 209,000 words, which will never be read before the voting commences].

But wait, according to Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX) there are still a few more things to add, like his own “my way or the highway” RESULTS Amendment . . .  which Harry Reid has already rejected. 

Says Harry:

I will not accept any poison pills. I mean, we have a senator from Texas, Senator Cornyn, who wants to change border security, a trigger, saying that it has to be a 100 percent border security, or they’ll be no bill. That’s a poison pill. If people have suggestions like they did in the Judiciary Committee to change the bill a little bit, I’ll be happy to take a look at that. But we’re not going to have big changes in this legislation.

“Poison pill” is an understatement.  RESULTS: The Amendment, forbids undocumented immigrants from obtaining permanent residency until four criteria are met:

- 100 percent surveillance of the southern border
- a minimum 90 percent apprehension rate for illegal border crossings
- an operational biometric ID system at air and sea ports
- and implementation of E-Verify nationally.

Sweet.  Republicans earn political capital for immigration reform that will take 99 years to implement while simultaneously funneling billions in contracts to their defense contractor buddies who are rapidly retooling for “border defense” in the wake of the sequester backfire and a nationwide shortage of wars.

Says Cornyn:

The choice for Senate Democrats when I offer my amendment is very simple: if they are sincere about securing the border, here is their chance.  If they oppose my plan, their claims of securing the border are nothing but lip service designed to manipulate the American people into supporting this flawed bill.

Trouble is, Cornyn has more to worry about than Harry Reid.  His conservative Texan constituents are not exactly down with the bill with, or without, Cornyn’s amendment.

Meanwhile, Sen Marco Rubio, capo of the Republican “Gang” members is busying himself proving that he has the cajones to be President when he grows up.  Which is getting harder to do, on this project, with senior senators like Cornyn horning in to beef up the bill with last minute amendments.

But, Rubio now has the IRS “scandal” to conjure up to push his bill, as well as a Republican hidden agenda to wrest some of the control of the plan from the Department of Homeland Security and give it to Congress:

The lack of trust in the federal government — by the way, not made any better by the events of the last few days, things we’ve learned the federal government has done in other realms, whether it’s the IRS or other things. “The lack of trust in the federal government, and in particular, in this administration, makes it even harder to convince people that coming up with a plan like this on its own is good enough. So maybe the solution is to have Congress actually write that plan for them.

Seriously, Senator Rubio??? Seriously? you think that the American public doesn’t trust the government to do this — but somehow you think that they trust Congress more??  Congress with it’s minimal expertise on just about every issue under the sun, and it’s new all-time low approval rating in the single digits?

Sheeeeesh.  It’s true what they say . . . the stupid really DOES burn.

Posted by Bette Noir on 06/10/13 at 11:19 AM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersTeabaggery

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Speaker Boehner’s Grace of God Caucus

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Remember last December? when Republicans were trying desperately to absorb the bad news that their despised nemesis, Barack Hussein Obama, trounced their Romney-bot and coasted to an unimaginable second term? or that their dream of retaking the Senate had gone up in a puff of smoke? and then, remember when they turned their guns on each other? [arguably the best part, at least the most entertaining].

One of the GOP fever dreams that surfaced, during those depressing days, was to mutiny against Republican House leadership and force Speaker Boehner to walk the plank.  Boehner’s reign as Speaker has been plagued throughout by the backwash of the 2010 TEA Party wave that he surfed in on.  You see, Republican leadership, in the House, come mostly from blue states making it expedient for them to be somewhat moderate and establishment-oriented.  The congressional newcomers, conversely, were elected for their extreme political positions and their outside-the-beltway bona fides.

Boehner came down hard on some of the most unruly members, stripping them of their committee assignments, thereby robbing them of re-election appeal.  These same members, predictably, care not a whit for congressional etiquette, tradition, seniority or parliamentary procedure.  Historically, both parties are able to handle such schisms internally, and with civility, while the country continues on, blissfully unaware.  Under normal circumstances the majority party’s vote for Speaker is a pro forma affair.

But this was different, and, at one point it seemed that a cabal of disgruntled freshmen might actually unseat the Speaker.  Approaching the date of the vote, about 17 defectors were needed to deny Boehner an outright majority. If those 17 or so could block the speaker on the first ballot, they could convene a conference and persuade someone else — maybe Cantor, Paul Ryan or Jeb Hensarling to challenge Boehner. Even if none of the party lieutenants agreed to go up against Boehner, winning on a second ballot would be humiliating enough.

So what do conservatives do when beset with such a thorny dilemma?  Well, a lot of them fall on their knees and ask God what to do; and so it was that God saved Speaker Boehner’s hash.

Rep. Steve Southerland II (R-FL), is a 47-year-old funeral home operator, elected in 2010, who hosted regular meetings for mutinous legislators at his DC townhouse.  Southerland recently explained for a Washington Post piece just exactly how God intervened in the matter.  The night before the vote, Southerland read the story of Saul and David, and about how the king of Israel tried to kill the future king. David wins and, with a chance to kill the king, decides to spare Saul.

Southerland reports that he woke up convinced that Boehner should be spared. Others, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said they, too, prayed before siding with Boehner.

“He’s not a God of chaos, he’s a God of order,” Southerland said.

Shortly after that, Republicans convened a “retreat” where they arrived at an internal peace treaty called “the Williamsburg Accord,” which:

. . . restored enough unity to permit the House to dodge a government shutdown, badger the Senate into passing its first budget in four years and open investigations of the Obama White House.

And nothing more.

Rep. David Schweikert (R-AZ), who was purged from the Financial Services Committee in November, had this to say, recently:

the thing you have to analyze is: Have we had a pretty good quarter because we stuck to the formula of Williamsburg? Or is it because we avoided the tough issues?

Good question.

Maybe, next, someone should ask God how to make Republicans a little more productive?

Posted by Bette Noir on 06/04/13 at 07:43 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersBqhatevwrNuttersTeabaggery

Monday, June 03, 2013

Wingnut Lawmakers, Steven Seagal Team Up to Fight Terror

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A Congressional delegation that included wingnuts Dana Rohrabacher, Steve King and Michele Bachmann visited Russian security officials and lawmakers last week to discuss dealing with terrorist threats and investigate the Boston bombings. Straight-to-video action movie actor Steven Seagal was credited with setting up the meetings:

[Rohrabacher] repeatedly thanked Seagal, who took credit for arranging the congressmen’s meeting at the FSB, and said it helped avoid the experience of past foreign trips when all of the meetings had been arranged by the U.S. Embassy.

“You know what we got? We got the State Department controlling all the information that we heard,” Rohrabacher said. “You think that’s good for democracy? No way!”

Seagal has special expertise in Russian foreign policy in general and relevance to the Boston bombings investigation in particular, having once played a former Russian mobster named “Ruslan” in the 2009 thriller “Driven to Kill.” Alert readers will recall that the Tsarnaev brothers’ outspoken uncle is also named “Ruslan,” making Seagal’s involvement a no-brainer for the US congressional delegation.

Sans the nanny squad from State, Rohrabacher found he likes the cut of Putin’s jib (perhaps peering into his soul as George W. Bush once did) and feels that Putin-backed Chechnyan strongman Ramzan Kadyrov has been unfairly criticized for torture, kidnapping and murder by namby-pamby human rights groups who don’t understand the nature of the enemy:

“Radical Islam is at our throat in the United States, and is at the throat of the Russian people…

“If you are in the middle of an insurrection with Chechnya, and hundreds of people are being killed and there are terrorist actions taking place and kids are being blown up in schools, yeah, guess what, there are people who overstep the bounds of legality.

“We shouldn’t be describing people who are under this type of threat, we shouldn’t be describing them as if they are Adolf Hitler or they’re back to the old Communism days.”

Seagal, who received “a lavish welcome in Kadyrov’s palace,” noted that the strongman has not been indicted.

Rohrabacher & Co. aren’t the first wingnuts to tap Seagal’s cinematic crime and terrorism-fighting expertise to address real-life issues: A couple of years ago, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio enlisted Seagal’s aid in an operation that successfully slew dozens of menacing chickens and a puppy at an alleged cockfighting ring.

Rest easy, America.

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/03/13 at 09:34 AM
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Categories: MoviesPoliticsNuttersTeabaggery

Saturday, June 01, 2013

Mr Norquist’s Excellent Jihad

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I have to admit that I didn’t see this coming but, thanks to Texan politico Cathie Adams, all of the frightening pieces are suddenly falling into place.  Speaking at a recent event hosted by the Far North Dallas Tea Party, Adams shared her concern that America is currently in thrall to secret Muslim infiltrators carrying out a stealth jihad.  Some of the high-profile jihadis that Ms Adams has exposed are: Grover Norquist, Karl Rove and possibly the current head of the CIA, John Brennan.

The evidence? Mr Norquist has a beard and is married to a Muslim woman.  Karl Rove is his BFF.  The investigation of Brennan is ongoing so Ms Adams couldn’t share much about him but one sinister thing that we do know is that Brennan speaks Arabic fluently.  But then he’s CIA so he would be too smart for facial hair or a Muslim wife.  And, of course, the Muslim-in-Chief needs no introduction—case closed.  That’s why we find ourselves, today, crawling with stealth jihadis and Ms Adams wants to know: “Where is the outcry!!?!”  The one American that Ms Adams is sure is not a stealth jihadi is Sen. Ted Cruz for whom she gave thanks to God, on this particular occasion. 

Now, you may remember that it was Cruz who warned us about the 70% - 80% infiltration of Communists in Congress, which would only leave about 20% left for stealth jihadis, but maybe he was confused.  Cruz was a newbie to the Senate, at that time, and perhaps he mistaked Communists for Muslims?  maybe they were the Baltic-Chechen-crossover-type Muslims easily mistaken for Communists? At any rate, I’m sure Cathie Adams will be briefing him on that.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 06/01/13 at 09:23 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrNuttersFriends of HumusTeabaggery

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