Big doings tonight in Tampa. The box above is just a time-killing preview. CNN will air the debate live on cable and via webcast here. Official start time is 8PM, but the raw feed may begin as early as 7:30, if you enjoy mic checks and embarrassing non-broadcast crosstalk.
Seems like we just did this a week ago. But, this time, the debate is co-sponsored by Tea Party Express, so expect a ‘bagger-friendly format with lots of questions about American Exceptionalism, revocation of voting rights for the unemployed and which minorities have the most annoying indigenous music.
PS: The Marquise of Tease was invited to participate in the event but predictably declined, so it won’t be a title bout. However, the Bachman vs. Perry undercard promises to be a no-holds-barred Hair-Fight for the Ages.
Rick Perry makes his debate debut tonight. The format is pretty standard, unlike Jim DeMint’s A Chorus Line-style auditions for President in Charlotte on Monday. The Big Question is, will they turn on each other, will they turn on Sarah Palin, or will they join hands in a circle and try to make contact with the disembodied spirit of The Gipper?
[UPDATE:] A) They turned on each other. B) Palin’s economic “plan” was never mentioned, even in passing.
My favorite dark diva of paranoid, bathetic ramblings has been forcibly retired from the cause he simultaneously promoted and embarrassed (disclosure: I had a friend with Cerebral Palsy who liked to visualize rolling his motorized wheelchair back and forth over Jerry’s head). How shrunken is a world where one cannot count on a 3AM accordian solo, a giant check from the Lions’ Club, and a drumroll for the Tote Board?
Now the Labor Day telethon is a mere six hours, which I missed, with no brilliantined overlord swanning around the set, draping gold braceleted hammy hands round firefighters’ shoulders, and doing off-color, and sometimes off-putting, schtick.
I would hardly be able to bear the loss were it not for the news that the entire Sarah Palin’s Alaska series is now available on Amazon for the very low price of 9.99, 7.00 used. Put Sarah through her paces, watch her beat the halibut, climb every foothill, and ignore her daughter for as many hours as you care to; this time, she can’t quit!
If only the dumb gubmint would allow Free Market Jeebus to make everything fair, just and equitable:
I hope he gets a severe case of mustache mange and finds that all the facial hair specialists in the entire world have decided to devote their practices solely to hirsute, 20-something female fashion models.
So Rick Perry made it official, throwin’ out great drippin’ chunks of red-meat Jeebus, Exceptionalism and Not-Spreadin’-the-Wealth at the RedState confab. Times are tough, so anyone who wins the Republican nomination has a shot at unseating Mr. Obama.
But I don’t think Perry’s entry improves the quality of the GOP candidate pool. He combines the energy of Fred Thompson with the sincerity of John Edwards, the intellectual rigor of Sarah Palin, the economic acumen of Michele Bachmann and the humility of Rand Paul—all delivered in the style of Will Ferrell’s George W. Bush impression.
I think that last quality will resonate most negatively with low-info voters. By being a monumental fuck-up, George W. Bush not only plunged this nation into its most precarious position since the Great Depression—he blighted the nascent national ambitions of his smarter younger brother Jeb. It would be fitting if Perry finds his presidential aspirations dashed on that same rock.
UPDATE—Photo and excerpt from Governor Goodhair’s college transcript below the fold…
Wingnut pundit and GOP debate question dude Byron York caught a lot of flak for asking Michele Bachmann if she would be a submissive wife as president:
First of all, her answer doesn’t make any sense because “submissive” isn’t the same as “respectful.” I respect my husband, but if he asked me to do something I found as odious as Bachmann seemed to find the study of tax law—like, say, trying out for the American Ninja Warrior TV show—I’d tell him to get stuffed (in a respectful manner, naturally).
Since it’s the GOP debate, Bachmann was allowed to skate past the real issue with the standard bullshit answer biblical literalists use to convince others (and probably themselves too) that their imaginary sky daddy isn’t a misogynist knob. Instead, the controversy descended on York.
York’s question was a hot topic over at NRO, where Sister K-Lo Inviolata begged her colleague’s detractors not to harsh the mellow:
“[H]e let hee provide an explainer”? K-Lo was drunk-blogging the GOP debate! That’s fine for Rumproast, but NRO is the cyber-home of America’s conservative intelligentsia. I guess they’re as despairing and addled as we are. Heh!
So ... This happened. And there’s no way to make it UNhappen. So we’re stuck with it [via Wonkette]:
Casting Travel Adventure Show!
Seeking patriotic married couples who love adventure and hate government deficits. If you think there ain’t no party like a Tea Party we want you! Please reply with pictures of you and your spouse, a short bio, and contact information. We’ll be in touch!
Compensation: United States
Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Christ.
Here’s the link to the Craigslist ad if like me, you’re having doubts because your brain is now clamped down tight and refuses to accept or process any new information.
Rumproast’s Founder and Ur-Blogger Emeritus introduced us to the original, live-action Black Dynamite film. We may never know if he approves of the new, animated Adult Swim incarnation, but I think we can all agree that every Liberal heart leaps at a cartoon that unites White CIA agents with kung-fu-fighting Ghetto Heroes to kick rogue PBS puppet ass, the way the Founders intended.
Oh teleHuckster, just talking off the top of your head, of course you thought,” That miserable Socialist Geithner! Out with him, and in with Donald Trump! For the optics!” Well, golly. You celebrity Gramma-scarers certainly love to push bent bullion!
The Secretary’s grievous crimes only pale in comparison to, say, the crimes of the entire Tea Party/GOP caucus as outlined by Standard and Poors. How wonderful to be a Fox talker thinking outside the box. As any Fox-contracted noncandidate can tell you, it’s great to stay home on the farm without a care in the world while shying cow-patties at the heads of people actually trying to govern. Why not pitch a season of Government Apprentice, with various officials being dragged into the boardroom before legendary laughingstock and serial bankrupt Donald Trump?
As John Cole noted nearly two years ago, there’s no such thing as Peak Wingnut—it is an endlessly “renewable resource.” Subsequent events have underlined the truth of that assertion more strongly than perhaps even the most pessimistic of us imagined.
But is there a limit to the credulity of low-information voters and the media organizations that keep them in that state? We may be about to find out.
The limits of the Big Lie won’t be tested on an issue like climate change. The anti-science propaganda on that topic has been so successful that it’s probably impossible to address it in a meaningful way—even if the water starts lapping at our doorsteps in low-lying states.
Yesterday, Rush Limbaugh admonished fellow wingnut Matt Drudge for falling prey to government-orchestrated hysteria over climate change, a phenomenon just about every reputable scientist on the planet regards as a fact. Drudge has served as a primary purveyor of climate change doubt, trumpeting every winter snowstorm as if each snowflake were a repudiation of Al Gore and relying (successfully) on public ignorance to draw conclusions favorable to Koch Industries. A little heat wave heresy won’t change that.
Look, we know that people who get their information primarily from Fox News aren’t the brightest bulbs in the chandelier. But even Fox viewers who sit in front of the TV all day snacking on giant bowls of lead paint chips should be able to see through this pathetic bamboozle:
So the argument is: Other companies have been hacked! China hacked the Pentagon! Hacking is a serious problem in a generic sense! So let’s not dwell on companies involved in hacking scandals (including companies that do the hacking!) but instead address the philosophical ramifications of hacking in a general, non-branded way. Or better yet, let’s talk about other topics altogether! Debt ceiling! War! Move along, people, nothing to see here.
Jeebus, that was a new low, even for an Ailes script delivered by Doocy. One reason Fox News performs well in its category is that it flatters its viewers by regurgitating their prejudices and preconceived notions in an unexamined form.
But this was so sad and self-serving that it should cause even Fox viewers with heads as hollowed out as a jack-o’-lantern to feel vaguely insulted. Murdoch must be desperate indeed to preserve his US properties.
The Citrus County (Florida) Tea Party Patriots oppose year-round restrictions on boat speeds designed to protect manatees:
Tea Party Patriot Edna Mattos is right, you know: You won’t find a single mention of manatees in the US Constitution. On the other hand, the Founders were well-known for racing their boats at breakneck speeds—year round!—across placid Florida springs.
Moreover, the so-called “Florida” Manatee, although designated the state’s official marine mammal, is actually a subspecies of the West Indian Manatee. So they’re not even Americans.
