Thursday, January 19, 2012

Now With Even Less Selection! The SC GOP Debate Liveblog

I'll Have A Big Helping of Prognosis Negative

Yes, fellow sufferers, another one. But oooh, though the ingredients are unappetizing, it’s going to be so juicy!  Will the newly deCornthroned and sinking Mittens soil his French cuffs directly and rub our protesting psyches in Newt Gingrich’s open marriage, or leave it to the Help as usual?  What whipping personality will feel the Speaker’s lash, and how much will those charmers in the audience eat it up this time?

Starting at 8, carried on CNN, streaming, CNN willing and the intertube don’t break, here. Pass the Pepto, it’s going to be a lumpy night.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/19/12 at 07:21 PM

Categories: ImagesPoliticsElection '12MittensOur Stupid MediaTelevision

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

POTUS to Betty White: Papers, please

Heh. I can’t really see any of the other presidents in my life time pulling something like that off, and not only because no other president was badgered for his birth certificate by a pack of lame-brained, racist twits. Clinton could be pretty droll, but still. I give Obama the edge.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 01/18/12 at 03:03 PM

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaTelevisionYouTubidity

Monday, January 16, 2012

Get Your Hot Steaming SC Liveblog Here


Yes, what better capper to this year’s Martin Luther King commemorations than for a liveshow of all that endears the GOP to civil rights activists everywhere—Martin Luther King was Ron Paul’s hero! Except for that Civil Rights Act Birthday Holiday thing—in the state that gave us Fort Sumter?

Fox News, 9PM. Streaming here.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/16/12 at 08:45 PM

Categories: ImagesPoliticsElection '12Television

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Circular Reasoning Firing Squad

A staring contest? I accept your challenge, Mr. The Abyss!

Yes, Bob, we know you don’t like her.

Must admit, I wasn’t a huge Howler reader back in the day—was he ever really America’s Most Incisive Media Critic, or was he always a bit of a crank who benefited from liberals’ tendency to venerate whoever’s telling them what they want to hear at that exact moment? (see also: Jon Tester, 3 out of 4 Daily Show remotes, or that time Sam Seder had Jack Cafferty on AAR and gave his entire listenership Chronic Cringe Syndrome)

Because if you read closely, he’s not unpacking anything here, he’s just Monday morning executive producing.

We think Maddow showed very weird judgment presenting this topic last night.

Well, yes, you would, because like all weird people, you think it’s everything else that’s weird. I have more than a little sympathy for this POV, BTW, but still, it’s incumbent upon us to marshal evidence for our outside-the-mainstream hypotheses—Maddow’s disastrous cheapening of the progressive brand in your case, anything involving cell phones in mine.

Gaze on corporate liberal greatness. Is there real hope for the world?

I love how the couch potato equivalents of WTO rock-throwers can’t see the difference between what Maddow does and what, say, George Stephanopoulos does. I bet she could anchor The White Power Adventure Hour and win plaudits from people like Somerby as long as it was on ProPublica.

But man, even I feel bad seeing that he’s been downgraded to a Blogspot account. Say what you will about the Incomparable Archives, at least the page design didn’t announce “ramblings of an increasingly addled mind ahead.” The dude’s two cats and a self-published paranormal romance away from being the nadir of the medium he helped pioneer.

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/10/12 at 04:32 PM

Categories: PoliticsOur Stupid MediaTelevision

Monday, January 09, 2012

BCS National Championship Game


I haven’t followed college football as closely this year as I have in the past. Not just because my team (the not-so-mighty Gators) sucked this year either.

My loss of interest may be because the long-time revulsion I’ve felt at how the NCAA exploits athletes and the ways schools exalt their football programs to the detriment of academics was amplified a hundred million times by the horrifying activities that were allegedly covered up at Penn State. Yeah, it wasn’t MY team, but those who think the mindset that compelled outwardly normal, decent people to turn a blind eye to a serial child predator is confined to Happy Valley are kidding themselves. It’s enough to put a fan off her Jello shots.

But I’m still going to watch the BCS Championship game tonight, and furthermore, I’m going to make a prediction: LSU will beat Alabama. Again. Geaux Tigers!

Posted by Betty Cracker on 01/09/12 at 07:19 PM

Categories: SportsTelevision

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Just as merry but not as brightly lit

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/25/11 at 04:37 PM

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Game Derange

Trailer for the upcoming HBO film “Game Change,” which is based on the book by John Heilemann and Mark “Dick” Halperin:

From that snippet, it appears Ed Harris pulls off McCain’s trademark peevish, constipated affect to a tee. Julianne Moore perhaps lacks the vocal range to accurately mimic Palin’s home fire alarm-speaking voice, but in that clip at least, she nails the verbal cadence, and kudos must go to the hair, wardrobe and make-up peeps.

I read the book when it came out a couple of years ago. The most revealing insights it provided were perhaps unintentional, as it was a window into the obsessive tabloid mindset with which our stupid media has so debased coverage of US politics. But for that reason, it’ll probably make an entertaining movie.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 12/22/11 at 07:25 AM

Friday, December 16, 2011

Un-Aired LOWE’S Commercial for “All-American Muslim”

Posted by Admin on 12/16/11 at 07:48 AM

Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsBedwettersRelijunTelevisionYouTubidity

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Mack out with your black out

From comments:

Nothing about the NDAA? Seems to be a liberal blog blackout regarding the official death of the Bill of Rights.

Uh… why, no, Raven Rant, I was um, I was just going to address that! I mean, I certainly haven’t been bought off by the Obama administration, if that’s what you’re implying… hey! Bill Daley, what are you doing in my apartment? In that apron? Get the hell out and take your delicious-smelling homemade treats with you!


The nerve, thinking my silence could be purchased with their filthy blood money, or in this case, toffee and confectioner’s sugar.

Did you know that today is the 220th birthday of the Bill of Rights? Well, don’t put on that little hat and blow that whistle with the rolled-up paper attachment that unfurls just yet, because it’s also… its deathday! There, Raven, happy? Or do I have to specify that I’m not in favor of the NDAA? Because I’m not, I think it’s bullshit.

Hey waaaiiit a minute. I just cursed. In public! Hold on, lemme try something.

(assembles freely, plays with Voltron toy)

(regulates militia, and pretty darn well, I might add)

(takes dog out, observes doo process)

Clearly the Bill of Rights’s death has been greatly exaggerated.

Anyway, here’s Rachel Maddow talking with someone who knows more about the NDAA than I do, a bar he clears by knowing it’s not the governing body for dodgeball:

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Oh hey, Daley dropped one on his way out.


Mmm, blood blondie.

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/15/11 at 08:51 AM

Categories: NewsPoliticsWar In ErrorTelevision

Saturday, December 10, 2011

GOP Debate Open Thread: You’re an Apparently Viable One, Mr. Gingrinch


Tonight at 9pm EST, a broadcast devoted to dinosaurs, ludicrous dialog, and a bizarre vision of the past. But I’ve had it with GOP debates so I’m gonna watch “Terra Nova” instead! Ah ha haaaa… sorry, I probably should’ve worked on that one a little longer.

Here’s an open thread if anybody’s interested. I’ve heard stories of a magical place where people sometimes go on Saturday night—I believe it’s called “Out”—but it sounds fishy to me, and also like a gay club, which may or may not be ironic. Ah ha… yeah, okay, that one could’ve used some tweaking too.

Anyway, it’s on ABC. Best Glengarry Glen Ross-themed joke in comments gets a free pass to hassle American Airlines flight attendants. Third prize is you’re banned.

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/10/11 at 08:47 PM

Categories: NewsPoliticsElection '12Television

Monday, December 05, 2011

Who will step right up to the carnival barker?


Reality TV silly person and recreational racist Donald Trump is moderating a GOP debate later this month in conjunction with wingnut media site Newsmax. The Huntsman campaign was the first to send regrets:

“We look forward to watching Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich suck up to Trump with a big bowl of popcorn,” Huntsman spokesman Tim Miller told Yahoo News.

Somewhat awkward sentence construction since it’s not clear whether Huntsman and Miller will share the popcorn or if Mittens and Newt will present it as an offering to Trump. But in either case, kudos to Miller for treating the invitation with the seriousness it deserves. To its credit, the Paul campaign declined with extreme prejudice:

“The selection of a reality television personality to host a presidential debate that voters nationwide will be watching is beneath the office of the Presidency and flies in the face of that office’s history and dignity…Mr. Trump’s participation will contribute to an unwanted circus-like atmosphere,” campaign chairman Jesse Benton said.

What of the others? Well, Gingrich is meeting with Trump today, so evidently he doesn’t regard the short-fingered vulgarian* as politically toxic. Romney has met with Trump in the past and seems craven enough to remove the rings in Pam Geller’s hot tub with his tongue if that’s what it takes to bag the nomination. By virtue of her status as an actual elected official, Bachmann is even more of a national disgrace than Trump. And Santorum is merely a naughty word, so what does he have to lose?

My guess is the remaining candidates show up. As pundits have noted ad nauseam, this year’s GOP nomination race represents a fusion of politics and reality TV. So how can Trump be beneath their dignity? Huntsman and Paul pretend he is, but they’ve participated in the serial clown car pile-ups we’ve witnessed thus far without denouncing the liars and phonies with whom they’ve shared the stage. So pardon me if I find their sudden squeamishness a little precious.

* H/T: Spy Magazine

Posted by Betty Cracker on 12/05/11 at 08:48 AM

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Martha Stewart created a monster

And no, I don’t mean a crafty pipe-cleaner, styrofoam ball and black garland spider with candy-corn fangs—I mean her only child, Alexis, appears to be an absolute horror of a human being. At least that’s how she comes across in this painfully awkward Today show interview.

I cannot in good conscious recommend that you spend 15 minutes of your life—that you’ll never get back!—watching this clip. But if you’ve ever wondered how Savannah Guthrie Jenny Hutt would handle the cross-examination of a hostile witness or if you’ve pondered whether it were possible for a real, live person to project less warmth and humanity than Gozer the Gozerian from Ghost Busters, well, here’s your chance to find out.


[H/t: BuzzFeed]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 10/26/11 at 06:11 AM

Categories: Skull HampersTelevisionYouTubidity

Thursday, October 13, 2011


There’s just something so awesome about attack turkeys:

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Rock on, Wattled Warriors.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 10/13/11 at 07:03 AM

Categories: CrittersTelevision

Monday, October 03, 2011

SNL on Internet Trollery

Hauled straight from the proverbial basement!

[H/T: HuffPo]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 10/03/11 at 07:38 AM

Categories: Skull HampersTelevisionYouTubidity

Friday, September 30, 2011

Glenn Beck Internet TV network to propagandize children with new show


Glenn Beck’s glorified podcasting outfit will launch a kid’s show called “Liberty Treehouse” on Monday. What could possibly go wrong?

In the first show, Raj Nair, the host, in a behind-the-headlines segment, is going to talk about straw polls and debates — what they are, where they come from and why they are important,” said Joel Cheatwood, the former Fox News executive who now serves as president of programming at GBTV. “I don’t know any kids show that took that on.”

There’s a reason no other kids’ shows take that on, Mr. Cheatwood—it’s as boring as watching Glenn’s hair product oxidize on his scalp. But maybe some of the toothless geezers who ponied up a portion of their Socialism Security checks for a GBTV subscription will make a captive audience of their grandchildren.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/30/11 at 03:02 PM

Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid MediaTelevision

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