Friday, May 24, 2013

Just Punch Me In The Face Now, PLEASE!

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Until yesterday, I have to admit, I was blissfully unaware that Andrea Tantaros lived and breathed.  Nor did I know that she was part of a FoxNews gang that call themselves “The Five” - dundundun.  Whatever.

This morning, however, I woke to the news that this same Andrea Tantaros was calling on my community to search me out and punch me in the face for voting for Barack Obama.  Now I’ve been voting for longer than Ms. Smarty Pants has been alive so I didn’t take it all that well.  Turns out that, despite her sophomoric mentality and social skills, this chick has her own talk radio show and on Thursday night she was busy holding forth on the James Rosen Affair.  Shheeeeesh.

Here’s the transcript:

Fox said, we’re targets, clearly Media Matters and others have put us on a target list.  And they said, ‘Oh, Fox is just crazy! They’re just paranoid!’ Really? Are we?’

This is what is happening to our press! This is Obama’s America! It’s like the Soviet Union. He said he would change the country. He said it. And a lot of people voted for him.

And if you see any of those people today, do me a favor, punch them in the face.

After a commercial break, a caller from South Carolina told Tantaros that he hated Obama, but worried that telling people to punch Obama voters in the face was sending the wrong message.

To be clear, I didn’t say punch Obama in the face. You’re going to get me arrested with this type of government.

If someone voted for him!” she insisted to the caller. “If anyone that you know who voted for President Obama, smack ‘em down.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 05/24/13 at 02:43 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaBqhatevwrNuttersOur Stupid Media

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Just LIke Bush Except For The Closing Gitmo Thing And The Listening Thing And That Other Thing

Code Crank


MEDEAMEDEAMEDEA! You are so vocal and full-throated, that even the guy at the podium has to admire you, even though you want him to close Gitmo and he—uh, wants to close Gitmo. And now he says it’s important to pay attention to you, so congratulations, conveniently formerly Susan B, inconveniently non-all-powerful Barry O has just endorsed you! You are now tainted, co-opted meat. I’m sure it was his diabolical plan all along.

In other news besides Medea Benjamin, the Guardian live blog, as usual, has a wonderfully succinct rundown of the President’s speech today. Perfect for Dana Perino-length attention spans!

Oh yes, nearly forgot: the President announced that he’d work with Congress to repeal the AUMF and end the perpetual War On Terror. Whew! Almost missed it!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/23/13 at 08:32 PM
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O-Prom-A

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Here’s Mr. Obama on his way to the senior prom (Time, via Gawker). Considering that he graduated in the late 70s, the outfits are far less embarrassing than one could have hoped. My husband is only a bit younger than the president, and the suit he wore to the prom once prompted someone who saw his prom photo to laugh and ask if it was a Halloween costume.

On a more serious note, Obama is scheduled to give an address on counterterrorism today:

In his first major speech on counterterrorism of his second term, Mr. Obama hopes to refocus the epic conflict that has defined American priorities since the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, and even foresees an unspecified day when the so-called war on terror might all but end, according to people briefed on White House plans.

Could the war on a noun really end? The report says Obama will announce new limits on the use of drone strikes and launch a new effort to close Gitmo. I expect the reaction will range from “worse than Bush” to “worse than Neville Chamberlain.”

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 05/23/13 at 09:57 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaWar In ErrorSunday Selector

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Heritage Action for America: Project Tora! Tora! Tora!

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Last week a curious little news item surfaced that might have attracted more focused attention if it hadn’t been lost in the sturm und drung of Scandalpalooza.  It had to do with a letter from Michael Needham, CEO of Heritage Action for America, schooling House Speaker John Boehner and Majority Leader Eric Cantor in how to do their jobs.  Needham’s advice boiled down to forget about legislation, it’ll only make us look bad; focus on your one true mission: destroy Obama. 

I guess, tactically, that’s not bad advice for several reasons: a) destroying Obama is pretty much the only unifying ideology left among Republicans and b) Republicans have no intention of legislating anyway so why not make that look like a shrewd political ploy.

You can read the entire letter here but here’s my personal favorite bit:

To that end, we urge you to avoid bringing any legislation to the House Floor that could expose or highlight major schisms within the conference.  Legislation such as the Internet sales tax or the FARRM Act which contains nearly $800 billion in food stamp spending, would give the press a reason to shift their attention away from the failures of the Obama administration to write another ‘circular firing squad’ article.

[Not the only “circular” activity going on with the GOP these days, I might add]

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Posted by Bette Noir on 05/22/13 at 10:50 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '14

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Hack Ack-Ack

Modo Mundo


May Robert Gibbs find solace someday, after the savaging he received at the wit of Bill Clinton’s ex-wife Maureen Dowd.

“I don’t normally read Maureen,” Gibbs, now an MSNBC contributor, said during an appearance on the network. “I don’t largely because it’s sort of largely the same column for the last, like, eight years.”

Oh Robert, why tempt Fate? Why?

After an uneasy interregnum, during which dogs were silenced with juicy bones and straw spread in the streets outside MSNBC studios, came to Politico the crushing reply:

I don’t normally listen to Robert,” she wrote in an e-mail to POLITICO. “I don’t largely because it’s sort of largely the same tired defense of President Obama for the last, like, six years.”

Now that’s some Pulitzer-grade devastation right there.

Makes us wonder with what weaponized snark the Dowdinator crushed the authors of this hilarious and still, like, apropos 2009 Huffpo Maureen Dowd Column-Writing Flow Chart?

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/21/13 at 07:09 PM
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Categories: BoozeImagesKnee SlappersPoliticsOur Stupid Media

Coburn & Co. Continued: Can It With The Compassion Crap, You Crass Creeps

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Anybody remember to set a stopwatch or start a pool on how long it took Senator Tom Coburn to accuse critics of his hypocritical disaster-aid political posturing “crass?”

For pity’s sake, all Coburn wants to do is make sure his constituents
receive help
in:

the most compassionate, effective and efficient way possible.”

Presumably, Sen. Coburn’s attempts to starve the agency that would provide that help won’t affect all that effectiveness. As Betty Cracker observes,

what does seem somewhat novel—to me, at least—is the brazen callousness in today’s breed of Republicans

Meanwhile in the annals of brazen callousness, Sen. Coburn’s fellow coprolite OK Sen. James Inhofe has tried to get around their stonewalling aid for Eastern states by calling the Sandy aid bill a “slush fund:”

“they were getting things … in the Virgin Islands, fixing roads there, and putting roofs on houses in Washington, D.C.”

Evidently the good senators are unaware that both Washington and the Virgin Islands are U.S. territories. But what does that matter? It’s not like they have senators to deny aid to anybody.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/21/13 at 03:25 PM
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Categories: ImagesNewsPoliticsNuttersTeabaggerySkull Hampers

Something Has Been Lost

Just to amplify an issue related to Mistermix’s post at Balloon Juice about austerity peacock Tom Coburn’s announcement that he would seek to offset federal disaster relief funds to Oklahoma with budget cuts elsewhere (Pentagon exempted, naturally). Let’s pause to consider what it means that Coburn issued this statement while bodies were still being pulled from the rubble in his home state, an activity that is ongoing.

A spokesman for the senator claimed that Coburn was merely being consistent about his position on federal disaster aid. That’s a lie: Mrs. Polly provides links to accounts of Coburn questioning and delaying disaster relief to other states while accepting funds for Oklahoma below. It’s no surprise that Coburn is a liar and a hypocrite: That’s what we expect from politicians. It’s what our grandparents expected, and their grandparents too.

But what does seem somewhat novel—to me, at least—is the brazen callousness in today’s breed of Republicans, a rigid orthodoxy combined with a rich man’s insulation from trouble that renders them utterly indifferent to the fate of others, even those who look like them and share their origins and cultural pretensions. 

Coburn is retiring after his current term: Maybe he’d be less quick to rush before the cameras to display his austerity plumage if he had to stand for another election. But I don’t think that’s necessarily true anymore. His real political masters, Koch Industries, et al, will applaud his haste to emphasize what’s really important in the face of a natural disaster, which is to keep corporate tax rates low and gut regulations on industries that contribute to extreme climate events.

And even if voters remember some other austerity peacock’s callous disregard for an unfolding disaster in some future election (doubtful thanks to the flood of corporate money that swings most elections), the heartless pricks who are voted out of office can transition seamlessly into cushy private sector influence-peddling gigs.

There’s really nothing new to see here, I suppose, but I can’t help but feel that something has been lost nonetheless: basic human decency, fundamental accountability—or at least the need to pretend that these quaint notions are relevant.

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 05/21/13 at 09:53 AM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersTeabaggery

Monday, May 20, 2013

Conservatives Decry Ruthless Effort To Pimp Effect As Result Of Cause

Still red-faced from deploring Newtown parents’ strange commitment to furthering an anti-gun agenda, right wingers are disgusted that Rhode Island Democratic Senator Sheldon Whitehouse would be so callous as to use Monday’s devastating monster tornado to highlight his global warming agenda.

Too soon, Senator Whitehouse! Can’t you have the decency to wait a couple hours, as Oklahoma GOP Senator Tom Coburn did to announce that he’d seek budget cuts to offset any aid his state might receive? Senator Whitehouse’s state was one of the coastal areas severely affected by Superstorm Sandy that had its aid package questioned and delayed by Senator Coburn, despite Coburn’s having requested and received aid—quite a lot of aid —without being questioned on the need for such porky projects as “disaster mitigation.”

Yes, Senator Whitehouse, the beset members of the GOP will long remember your shameless rant against them, particularly the parting shot:

So, like it or not, we’re in this together.

As is usually the case in disasters of this sort, the best and fastest way to help is with cash.. Go to:RedCross.org or text REDCROSS to 90999. Other suggestions for where to send donations are welcome.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/20/13 at 03:43 PM
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Categories: News

Sunday, May 19, 2013

SHOCKED! Shocked, I Tell You!

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[Updated below the fold]

What a week!  And, I have to agree with Jay Carney, it’s actually been a good week, if for no other reason than its entertainment value.  Scandalpalooza has downtrodden Republicans floating in a purple haze of political fairy dust and, history teaches us that when the GOP has magic on its mind it becomes rather spectacularly self-destructive.

By the end of a week of Republican non-stop merrymaking, Prince Rebus and “You’re a Mean One, Mr Gingrich” are the sole, sober voices of reason. Say what you will about Newt, but he does have decades worth of first-hand knowledge of the inner workings, serial miscalculations, over-reach and bumbling blunders that have carried the GOP to its present-day level of uselessness. 

So it is that Prince and Newt are the grownups desperately calling cabs for the less inhibited partygoers before they start spewing a skinful of Impeachment Punch all over the rotunda.

In one of those cabs, we find Peggy Noonan belting out “those were the days, my friend” spliced with “we are in the middle of the worst Washington scandal since Watergate” and “the South shall rise again.”  [I added that last part; it seemed to fit]
 
Admittedly, it’s been a while since Peggy Noonan made any sense to me.  At first, I thought she was cleverly speaking in tongues.  But Peggy’s Catholic and they generally frown on that kind of melodrama. 

Nowadays, I tend to agree with Charlie Pierce:

God put her [Noonan] on this earth to make Maureen Dowd look sane.

That makes more sense to me.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 05/19/13 at 06:09 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaElection '16Hillary ClintonNuttersTeabaggery

Saturday, May 18, 2013

May The Force Stiffen Your Spanx

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I knew from the get-go that it wasn’t James Earl Jones lending gravity and heft to Darth Vader’s Jedi armor back in 1979. The only question—which I never asked—was what extremely large and sturdy stunt double would allow himself to be swanned around on-camera for ten years without so much as a single shot of the actor’s actual face. (Anonymity is generally a useless P.R. tool.)

As it turns out, Vader (or at least his clanking physical presence) was portrayed by British weightlifter David Prowse, a robust bodybuilder who helped train Christopher Reeve:

He helped train Christopher Reeve for the role of Superman in the 1978 film and its sequels after lobbying for the part himself. In a television interview, he related how his response to being told “We’ve found our Superman” was “Thank you very much.” Then he was told that Reeve had been chosen and he was only to be a trainer.

as well as training Cary Elwes for The Princess Bride.

Little to my beknownst, I first encountered Prowse a few years earlier, when he played the nearly naked pleasure-boy Julian in Stanley Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange.

It ain’t politics, and it ain’t funny, but here’s hoping I just cleared up the deepest mystery of your brain with Mr. Prowse’s own workaday website.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 05/18/13 at 06:15 PM
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Sometimes an Umbrella Is Just an Umbrella

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Most wingnuts go straight for the “uppity” angle when criticizing President Obama for asking two Marines to hold umbrellas over himself and the Turkish Prime Minister at an outdoor press conference during a downpour.

Noted boxed wine enthusiast Ann Althouse digs a bit deeper in a post entitled, “The word ‘umbrella’ appears exactly once in Obama’s ‘Dreams from My Father.’” Do think I’m kidding? No, I am not.

I’m astounded to see that the umbrella figures importantly in the book — and it is even an umbrella held over him by another man (his younger brother Bernard). This happens at the end of what is the most dramatic scene in the book, on the last page of the final chapter.

[snip]

So — as he dramatizes it —it is at the moment when he finds out who he really is that another man suddenly appears and is sheltering him with an umbrella. He’s been crying, but now it all makes sense, and — with the prompting of the younger man — he sees that he is okay.

[snip]

Flash forward, and he’s President. He is in the Rose Garden. It starts to rain. No man suddenly appears with an umbrella. He is getting wet and he is President — with plenty of airplanes and rifles and all of the world’s greatest military at hand — but he is still getting wet. He has to order the Marine to shelter him. It isn’t Bernard squatting with a bent-up old umbrella. It’s a Marine in full-dress uniform, with a fine unbent umbrella, which is nevertheless not correct under the official — male, rigid — Marine Corps regulations… And here he is, the center of the whole world’s attention, and he had to call for the umbrella.  He is not okay.

Wingnuts have demonstrated amazing super powers in the past, including the ability to conduct a comprehensive neurological assessment via a snippet of grainy videotape and audit a family’s finances by peering through the kitchen window at their countertops.

In her analysis of the meaning of UmbrellaGate, Althouse has taken it a step further, investing that “famously Freudian symbol” with powers that far surpass Mary Poppins’ foul weather gear, including the ability to emasculate US Marines and transform the POTUS into an insecure child. It’s both insane and fascinating.

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 05/18/13 at 02:08 PM
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Categories: BoozePoliticsBarack ObamaNutters

Eggs Bettydict

I usually don’t attempt emulsification prior to 10 AM, but I made a smashing hollandaise sauce this morning:

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It was a simple recipe: 4 egg yolks, a tablespoon of lemon juice, a stick of melted butter, white pepper, cayenne pepper and salt.

Then I toasted some thick slices of Italian bread, topped them with some slices of Ukrainian purple tomatoes from our garden, topped that with eggs over easy, ladled hollandaise sauce over it and sprinkled it with smoked paprika:

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Definitely not a heart healthy breakfast, but we’re patching a floor and laying tile today, so we need the fuel.

Please feel free to discuss whatever.

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 05/18/13 at 08:24 AM
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Categories: Food

Friday, May 17, 2013

See, ABC? This Is How You Give ‘Em The REAL Song And Dance

Oh, look, it’s ABC; still not admitting that their tin-eared right wing experiment Jonathan Karl was flim-flammed by a questionable source (and wishful thinking) into trumpeting his completely false EXCLUSIVE about the White House editing Benghazi talking points.

So what culprit fed faked notes from the White House Benghazi briefings to the eager and uncritical Karl? At least we can rule out John McCain!

On the other hand, this post could just be a thin excuse to post a video of Lee J. Cobb tap-dancing. As if I needed one.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/17/13 at 08:08 PM
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Woodward: WATERGHAZI!!

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Apparently primordial Villager Bob Woodward’s information stream is less than a trickle these days, or else how to explain his ignorance of the news that Benghazi emails purportedly doctored by the White House were actually doctored by interested, and likely Republican, parties instead?

Perhaps Woodward is still a little traumatized after having been threatened with a good dinner and flattery by a thuggish member of the Obama administration.

Or, perhaps, somewhere deep within the man (if that’s possible at all at all), he needs to discredit himself by daring more careful reporters to throw facts at him like a carnival dunk-me clown. Predictably, though, at the Village carnival, the game is evidently rigged, and Woodward stays dry as a bone.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/17/13 at 01:58 PM
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Categories: ImagesPoliticsOur Stupid MediaSkull Hampers

Never Fear, FOX Fans, The New Dingbat’s Here

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Just because they bounced the Alasklown, you didn’t think FOX was giving up on their mission to give the maximum possible juice to the dimmest possible bulbs in these divided States, did you? 

Rest assured that while there’s an unemployed photogenic psychotic willing to preen in front of bright lights and pocket Wingnut Welfare, FOX will be assiduous in helping malevolent loons fail their way to the top, if by “top” we mean the bottom of a barrel similar to the one West likes to torture Iraqi policemen in.

 

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/17/13 at 12:57 PM
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Categories: ImagesMessylaneousPoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid MediaTelevision

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